Ever felt like you're swimming upstream, fighting to balance the demands of motherhood with the ambition of being an entrepreneur? You're not alone! Dive headfirst into this candid conversation with us, Ashley and Brittni, where we explore the challenges, triumphs, and lessons learned from our journey as 'mompreneurs' - a term we're not entirely fond of, but it's what we are.
Let us guide you through our personal stories, from our humble beginnings to the turning points that pushed us into entrepreneurship. Sharing our struggles with traditional employment, we reveal how we found a way to build our businesses while juggling family life. It's not an easy ride, but the support of loyal clients and a solid network made the journey worthwhile. Learn from our past failures, and how they've shaped our current business ventures. Beware, we didn't hold anything back!
We'll also discuss the complexities and nuances of running a business while managing household responsibilities, setting boundaries, and the mental toll it all takes. The pressure of staying relevant on social media, managing multiple businesses, and the incessant need for fresh content - we've experienced it all. But at the end of the day, what truly matters is authenticity. Join us as we talk about finding balance, staying true to ourselves and our audience, and the importance of effective communication. It's a conversation you don't want to miss.
remember to leave a review be entered to win limited edition MMU merch!
https://linktr.ee/millennialmomsunfiltered?utm_source=linktree_admin_share
Ever felt like you're swimming upstream, fighting to balance the demands of motherhood with the ambition of being an entrepreneur? You're not alone! Dive headfirst into this candid conversation with us, Ashley and Brittni, where we explore the challenges, triumphs, and lessons learned from our journey as 'mompreneurs' - a term we're not entirely fond of, but it's what we are.
Let us guide you through our personal stories, from our humble beginnings to the turning points that pushed us into entrepreneurship. Sharing our struggles with traditional employment, we reveal how we found a way to build our businesses while juggling family life. It's not an easy ride, but the support of loyal clients and a solid network made the journey worthwhile. Learn from our past failures, and how they've shaped our current business ventures. Beware, we didn't hold anything back!
We'll also discuss the complexities and nuances of running a business while managing household responsibilities, setting boundaries, and the mental toll it all takes. The pressure of staying relevant on social media, managing multiple businesses, and the incessant need for fresh content - we've experienced it all. But at the end of the day, what truly matters is authenticity. Join us as we talk about finding balance, staying true to ourselves and our audience, and the importance of effective communication. It's a conversation you don't want to miss.
remember to leave a review be entered to win limited edition MMU merch!
https://linktr.ee/millennialmomsunfiltered?utm_source=linktree_admin_share
Welcome to Millennial Moms Unfiltered Podcasts where we show moms that they're not alone and it's okay to be a little messy sometimes. We're your hosts, Ashley.
Speaker 2:And Brittany.
Speaker 1:And on today's episode we're going to be talking about mom pernures and burnout. ["mom PERNUERS"]. ["mom PERNUERS"]. All right, well, being a mom pernure, I have hate that term. I hate it so much, it's so annoying, like I can't just be an entrepreneur because I have kids. Nope, you're a mom pernure. We need a special word for it Equality. I'm just kidding, no, but I don't like that word. But I'm going to use it in a hashtag so that other mom pernures can find this episode.
Speaker 2:Sure ["MOM PERNUERS"]. Yeah, no, I hate that. I definitely. I don't even say entrepreneur. I don't like that word either. I know it's annoying and people I feel like people rule their odds. It's like entrepreneur. No, I own a business. Yeah, like I put too much of my own time and money into something and I pay taxes at the end of the year.
Speaker 1:I'm actually really sad. ["mom PERNUERS"].
Speaker 2:I'm out here trying. No, but I was firing other women, yeah. ["mom PERNUERS"].
Speaker 1:Welcome. You can do it too. ["mom PERNUERS"]. No, seriously, though I, when I was I don't know like 20 to 24, I worked in an OB-GYN office as a medical assistant. So my background is in feminine health and I was really passionate about that. I still really kind of am Kind of wanted to be a doula for a while. That was another hyper fixation. I still totally would. I mean I love it. But anyway, I realized really fast that I could not work for somebody else.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Patrick told me the other day that I, because I left my job at my most recent job we kind of came to an agreement, like me and my boss, Like it wasn't necessarily that I left, it wasn't necessarily that I got let go, it was like maybe this isn't working out. So Pat said he's like you really aren't good at working for other people. I was like no, I'm not, I don't know, why don't you?
Speaker 1:want me to tell you. My thing is like I'm an understander, like I need to know why. Why are we doing it this way? If this way works better, how come we have to do it your way? And I feel like where I worked, it was like a power trip Because that's part of the problem.
Speaker 2:That with our country. I would say that, like a lot of bosses are not understanding, and when they're not, leaders, no definitely not.
Speaker 1:They're not leaders. Yeah, and it's just like if you don't know why we're doing it, why are we doing it? If I thought a more effective way, why am I getting in trouble for doing it the more effective way? Just because in the handbook it says this. So there was always things and at the end of the day I was terminated from that job. See, I did, but this is a real fucking. We're going to go there.
Speaker 1:So my mom was in hospice and I got let go. And in the same week my roommate moved out to go live with my cousin and I was just like I lost it all. And then I lost my mom and I was just like yo. And then me and Gio that was like at the beginning of our relationship and then we, pretty soon after that, moved in together. And then that's when I decided I'm not, I'm not. I was working in neurology for a short amount of time and after just all the change I was like I can't do this and I was already a personal trainer. And then that's when Ashley and Fitness at the time it was called Peach Bums which fucking ranger. Yeah, that's when that was born and it was just all like. It was all really really shitty time, but it really taught me that like yo.
Speaker 1:It's not for me, but there are people out there, and that's OK. To be one of those people that like working for other people Because you don't have to, it's way easier to hang up your hat, so to speak. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:You don't turn off when you own your own business. There's no like going home and not thinking about work.
Speaker 1:I don't have that luxury, unfortunately, and you can't shut it off, either like the creativity aspect of it, because it's like when it hits you and you're like, oh shit, if I don't do it right now it's not gonna be as good or authentic, or or I'm gonna fall in love with it. Right, yeah, right, and that's what I told you today. I said sorry I've been like the phone has been like up my ass lately, but no, you have to, I, if I'm not writing it down or putting those colors there or thinking about where I'm gonna do these things, it's not gonna come back Like it's gone. It's like it's kind of like a dream, except for like there's a chance I'll remember the dream, like if this thought leaves me, that's it, it's gone. It's gone forever.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. Like I my inspir, a lot of my inspiration and motivation comes way too late at night. It's just terrible, and I am a night owl, I am not a morning person, which is also really hard for us to handle. Yeah, cause my kids are all bad 5-a-y I'm used to.
Speaker 1:my kids are early rise, are too powerful. I hate it.
Speaker 2:I hate it.
Speaker 1:It's finally, he's 11, so he's at the stage now where he leaves. Then, yeah, and then, but the other two, 630. And then Eli will do this thing, my five year olds. He'll be like, wow, I'm gonna go to the bathroom and then update me on everything. Eli, take that tablet, some, and go hang out for a half hour. You know, give me 30 minutes. Okay, I'm gonna get something to eat, bro, if you don't go to the bathroom. So yeah, I don't stay up. I literally we're in bed by like 10. Because I cannot, I can't.
Speaker 2:I don't know, I'm super late.
Speaker 1:If I do that, I just.
Speaker 2:I do editing and like, yeah, doom scrolling for like inspiration on Pinterest or TikTok or whatever.
Speaker 1:I do that a lot. I feel like I used to be super productive at nighttime and but now I just can't, Like I've like had to force myself to switch and be productive during waking up, which isn't easier because the kids are there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no. Well, so me goes to school. Obviously I should have in kindergarten, but I have Killian all day. Still he's not even in preschool, so I don't have a break out all from him and it's like to be on all day plus like answering emails, edit, Like sometimes I can't even edit because he's like jumping on me while I'm on the couch. It's not like I mean I can sit out at my desk and edit, but I don't love to, because I use my tablet to edit mostly, but even then jumping on the desk like aim at every element.
Speaker 1:Same thing, it's. It's hard. He'll sit for a while. He does entertain himself more than the other two ever did Really, but maybe it's the third because you never mind. Yeah, it was, he's good. I can't say that I can never get anything done with him, but when he decides like I need your attention, then that's it, I'm done for the day. So that's difficult because if I have like that motivation to get it done and I can't, then I feel like what the hell is happening. I feel like I wasted the day even though I didn't Like. I feel really hard on myself when I don't check everything off on the list. But it's like kids, adhd, the pressure I put on myself. It's the worst.
Speaker 2:So I decided to. When Pat and I got married, I was working at John's emails. He's working his job, he's in construction and we both had really good jobs. And then I found out I was pregnant and we decided that I was going to leave John's emails. I was gonna start working in mental health again because I got offered the teaching position and I couldn't take the teaching position while also being an academic counselor that like had scheduled, scheduled conflict actually. So I couldn't do both. So I was like I'll just do outpatient therapy during the day in my own office and then I'll teach at night.
Speaker 2:And then, when it came down to it, like he was making enough to support us where I didn't need to continue, I was working outpatient per diem. So I was working technically. I was scheduling like five to six clients a day. But there would be days where like I would get no showed and I wouldn't get paid because I was technically per diem. So that got to the point where I was like I can't, I'm not doing this when we have a baby at home who comes into the office and can have like five no shows in a row and then not get paid and still sit here all day, so we decided that was it. So that's when I just started teaching and then the photography picked up pretty organically in the beginning.
Speaker 1:I mean, we've definitely taken a hit recently because of the economy, but I mean, I started my photography business in 2019 and went through COVID and came out of it and like came out of it more successful actually, like and that's like huge, because my coaching business, like the beginning of COVID, is when I was like no, no, nope, I was like still trying after I had Aimen and I came back and I was just like I can't push this hard. I'm like I'm friggin stressed out just because of the world.
Speaker 2:And so you were pregnant. You are pregnant at the same time during COVID Cause. They're only the youngest, they're only two months apart.
Speaker 1:And then I was just like no, we're closing it, but I felt like. I felt like I was being a baby. No, I felt like everyone was hard and you know like I feel like I talk a fucking lot and I'm always like here's something new. You know my ADHD, like we go this and then I was like actually we're not doing this anymore and that's something I've had to really like deal with with myself like real life, or force myself to realize like it doesn't fucking matter, just do your shit anyway.
Speaker 2:Like who cares?
Speaker 1:if you announce a new thing, you're like what is she doing now? I used to, but I have some serious ride or die people that will like show up and like, even if it's not their thing, they'll go like follow the page or like they're not moms, but they'll still like like post on it and stuff like that, and that I'm really grateful for that. I don't have a lot of people that are like check this bitch out. I feel like I'm not. I might not be one of those people that someone would be like you're a fucking idiot. You know what I mean. Like I feel like people probably wouldn't tell me. They think that I'm sure there are people that are like she's so annoying, but I don't care.
Speaker 2:I have found in my flip flop like we also have like a poking town because our hashtag was our last name's. Take our last name's pokington. Our wedding hashtag was take me to poking town, like take me to funky town. So then, like moved in to get I'm not after we moved, after we moved to our apartment after we got married. We've already lived together before that, but we moved to a different apartment and we were doing lots of like renovating furniture together and stuff. So we go poking town crafts, etsy shop another one of our failed attempts.
Speaker 1:And so it was like the thing is like we say things like failed it's not because did you carry shit that you learned yeah, I know for sure, learned every single thing I've started and maybe it didn't work out how I hoped it did. The next thing I started was that much, not easier, but it was more successful. Yes, I took something with me, everything that I've done, so it's like they're building blocks. They're not failure.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, 100% so cliche, but but so this is just like another one of those things. I feel like when I started photography, some people were like what is she doing now? And then like I even had friends who said, well, they're not friends anymore because I found out. They said shit like that. But I'm like you should have RyderDies.
Speaker 1:You should have like the people in your corner should be supportive my RyderDies are people that I've never actually met in real life like I, I don't have many real life friends me either so this is why we're friends and but internet besties. I have a lot of those and it's like fucking yes.
Speaker 2:So be an internet bestie. Be an internet bestie. I was going to shout out someone right now she's like hey, holly, I'm shouting you out. She's my, my husband's, one of his friends and like old, they used to play. They were never in a band together, but they were in separate bands and they played together like out at shows. Seth, he was younger than him, amazing guitar player. They live on the west coast.
Speaker 2:I only met Holly in person one time. I fucking love her like she is, just like she feels like a soul sister. She supports me in everything. She reaches out. She's always calm, like she comments on things and I did the same for her like I just she reads, she reads tower cards. Go get a reading from her. But but she's someone like I don't really know, like I know her a little but I only met her once and she shows up and I have clients like that who have only ever come to me for photography. But like show up, ride or die. Like they have booked family Boudoir wedding, like everything. And or multiple like three shoots, like three, four, five of the same shoot, like that's insane to me when I have like my own best friend, like won't share my shit.
Speaker 1:I don't care if you don't book share something right, and that's my thing too, and it's like everyone, like I said, like so much, it's so annoying. I try to stop doing that before we start recording, but I feel like people that are closer to you. What has been said is that they worry about the things right, like what if you don't, what if this or whatever. But that might happen because you're not sharing my shit.
Speaker 1:You know it's hard to help me, but they get stuck in that or like the jealousy, and there's definitely a jealousy effort, for sure and it's harder for people or it's just less likely for people closer to to.
Speaker 2:It's annoying, I mean I try not to be like entirely different episode, but like why don't the people around you want?
Speaker 1:to see it again. That's why I don't fuck with many people, because I feel like it, not that nobody like I mean my best friend Lauren, like she always does, and I'm sure she's listening this right now but like she's there and that's all that matters. Like, okay, I have my like one person that really like shows up. But imagine if everyone that you were like acquainted with was like yes, do it.
Speaker 2:That's what's with blooming babies, with the blue r-sided things I've said, with, like, empowering women and being like a girls girl, like we are not tearing each other down. We are not. We are supporting. There is room for everyone at the table, like you can do, like I even have friends who are photographers who, like I support, as long as, like, you're not a douchebag like but here's like another side of that, though, because I don't always share people things.
Speaker 1:Either I feel like if I'm like if I think about it, it's because I do. If I'm not working on social media for like creating posts or things that matter, I'm not really there, right, yeah? Or I'm kind of just like scrolling through whatever and then don't think about it. So I have to like activate my brain to be like okay, make sure you like this or share this. But it's like someone's having something like a special or a sale or whatever the hell it is, or a new launch, I'll share those things. But if it's just like a normal, like whatever posts, I mean like I share your stuff.
Speaker 2:But I also was working as an ambassador for it because my job, alright, my nail girl, heather tips and toes. They're amazing. She's amazing. But like anytime, I get my nails and I usually take a picture and share it and shout her out, tack her and like honestly she doesn't need anymore.
Speaker 2:She's like overbooked at this point, so she's not like she needs any more clients. She's talented but like, just like that, like she's a mom, she's a business owner, right? I want people to know that she does great work and that, like, I'm proud of her and like that's it simple as that. Like right, so post your pictures when you get them.
Speaker 1:Like I still have clients who don't tag the photographer, right, I know sometimes I don't think about it and then I'll like we'll go back and do it. But like I mean, yeah, I I know what I want people to do, but I don't always do it, yeah, and so I think, well, maybe I think I'm pretty hard on myself like I should. I always feel like I need to be doing more and it's like, do you really need to be doing more? So maybe I don't look like an asshole, but I just always feel like everyone's like no, she's an idiot, because it's just because you're in it, I feel I don't think you're in it.
Speaker 2:I think it's because you're in it so like you're more, you're type aware fucking dark circles talking on her god damn stories again. I just started talking about my stories because I'm like, alright, we're starting a protest and Ashley talks on her stories all the time it was amazing.
Speaker 1:I need to start doing that. I have nothing going on right now and I thought that was hilarious. I was like she was talking about how there was an app for stretching and she's like I thought, oh, she said making stretching affordable and she's like I thought stretching was free. I was like not in this economy we're not gonna actually charge it but it's gonna be a low. Imagine you're like stretching in your living room with these people from bed busting your house and they're like did you pay for that? Did you pay for that?
Speaker 2:did you pay for that? Did you pay for that, did you?
Speaker 1:pay for that, did you pay?
Speaker 2:How did you find out about that stretch?
Speaker 1:Was that pigeon? Are we doing the pigeon balls right now?
Speaker 2:We're so off track right now we're supposed to be talking about burnout and then being a mom. You know why.
Speaker 1:I'm burned up because you're charging me for stretch.
Speaker 2:I can't even stretch for free anymore. I'm gonna make some money for my stretching.
Speaker 1:Alright, get it together, Glide.
Speaker 2:So being a mom and a business owner, so like burnout, for sure happens. I know like I'm gonna like comment you with some advice about being a mom and a business owner, but I haven't taken it yet Scheduling.
Speaker 2:It's hard to take it. Yeah, you need to schedule Like 100%, have a set schedule and follow it. Like only do your work at certain times of the day and then turn off your phone, turn off your computer. You need to set hours the same way you would if you had a regular job, because you're gonna burn out. Your family is gonna feel it Like. My kids have already said that I'm on my phone too much and that like, oh, it's like a dagger to the heart.
Speaker 1:My kids don't say it, but like I can tell. I've been like, when I noticed like they're trying to get my attention, I'm like okay, shit, I'll throw my phone. Or like at eight o'clock I'll like put my phone on the counter in the kitchen, like not even have it on me, and I've been trying to like do that more, like actively being engaged with what's happening, but then also with burnout, sometimes you're like I don't want to be here and you like disassociate, I just associate a lot.
Speaker 1:I know I do it all the time.
Speaker 2:But I saw something recently was like you can't moms stay at home? Like we're not built to be engaged for 13 hours a day Like straight. It's exhausting. It's the mental load. I take the mental load of everything for household the schooling, doctors appointments. Like our schedule for the week, like who we're going to see, family, same, plus the business.
Speaker 1:Like, and I'm not even like. Joe doesn't do anything like, but he's working all these hours and like, so by default, if I'm not working those hours, it makes sense that like I would go do it, but it's still just like it's just remembering everything, Like just even even remembering.
Speaker 2:It is like insane to me. Like, pass me to, there's something wrong with our fuse box it it wasn't re blue a few years and it wasn't resetting right and we couldn't figure out what the issue is. So he asked me to ask my uncle or my dad, and I was like, bro, can't you send the presentation? Why do I have some text message? You're the one who was like you know what's wrong with this? I even touch it.
Speaker 1:Right, I saw something that was like You're like your wife's mad because you want her to tell you what to do. She wants you to, to be like an active part of the house and know what needs to be. Yeah, no.
Speaker 2:Powell, 100% do anything I ask him to do and sometimes he recognizes what needs to be done. But I definitely to tell him more than not, and that's the exhausting part Like, yeah, why can't you just see, right, why can't you just see?
Speaker 1:it. See, I'm like I'm annoying like that to Joe for certain things, because I'm like he'll just take care of it and like he's way more like on scheduling and shit like that. But as far as like kids wise, it's like me, yeah, and like he does dishes, like I cook, but he does the dishes. I'm like maybe that a thing.
Speaker 2:I'm so lucky he cooks. I will say like around the house, like the household chores and the mental load I definitely take more on. But he takes on more than like. I know we have the bar really low for men. He is higher than that, but it's still like. I still like he is better than the average guy, like he, he cooks and like do. I wish that maybe there were a little more handy things around the house.
Speaker 1:I mean, can you probably feel like that? Anyway, I can't complain, like I don't. I really don't have to talk many times for you to like pick up and like do what needs to be done. It's just like there's just so fucking much yeah. Like when you're running a business, you have these kids, these kids. It's like sometimes, even though your partner does help, you're still just like yo.
Speaker 2:Well, because the list is also never ending.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:They're also exhausted. Pat's exhausted. He works a physical job Right, like he's just as tired as I am. It's in a different way though, like I don't think his brain ever is pulsating like my like. I'm just like constantly on.
Speaker 1:And it's like hard to find the balance sometimes Like, and it's not always 50-50. You know what I mean? And that's like it's yeah, it's. It's just, it's fluid, it's all. Just it keeps going.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I'm like cooking and cleaning and serving their husband and all that. I'm just not that person.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, I like cooking, you know, but even then I'm like sometimes I don't, I don't want to do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I am thankful that Pat's not. He's 100% on board with that, though. Like he doesn't care that I don't cook, he doesn't care that if he comes home and the house is looks like Obama on off, like he doesn't care, he's not like, oh, what is this house like that? What did you do all day, all day, if he did that?
Speaker 1:I would flip out. I came into it with Eden so he would be like why? And I'm like it's not that bad. And then, after we had Eli, it would still bother him. But I'm like, bro, you have to like choose your battles. Like I'm not going to pick this up. 13 times a day you walk in the house. It might be a disaster, but guess what, once that baby goes to bed, you know I pick it up. Oh yeah, you know what I mean. So like I'm not following the kids around.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it used to bother him a lot and I'm like get over it.
Speaker 1:So that was something that he learned relatively quickly. Because it's just they kids, just they don't, just, it's just the bomb, constant bomb. Yeah, yeah, I'm, where are the like? Today I vacuumed the living room like four times, 20 times, where, how? I didn't even give you a snack. Where the crumbs coming from?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I vacuumed so much. I've gone through two vacuums in a year. Keep breaking.
Speaker 1:I don't like what not pulling the trigger on a Dyson, but I'm like you, really just do need one.
Speaker 2:I need, like the best of the best, and I need one for each room. Yes, it's my dog, a dog. This is not a mom preneurine thing at all that I have a dog who sheds and he's breaking my vacuums. So we're talking about scheduling with mom, but this is what it's like to millennial moms, unfiltered.
Speaker 2:We are going to get off track a lot we're going, but for any moms out there who, like, want to start a business and I think you need to be like, really aware that it's not easy, it's not- as easy as people are making it look.
Speaker 1:Oh no, because, honestly, my first business that I started, I was like, okay, I'm just going to do this and follow, and it's just like, no, it's not what happened.
Speaker 2:And it's not impossible at 100% can be done, but you need to learn that like well, first of all, I don't know if I'm going to start a business in this economy. It has to be the right business. The right business because people aren't spending money on a lot of things right now, so you need to have a really good brand.
Speaker 1:I'm like what are you talking about? Because I'm spending money. It's not responsible. But I'm like you find people with ADHD and market to them because they're not paying attention to how much money and they are fighting with their husband. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, I feel that my nails done every two weeks I'm on three weeks just because I was on three weeks, I cannot. I was on three weeks but I switched back to two because I stopped getting hard gel, because I needed to give my nails a break, because they were. But like, I just feel like people aren't spent. So I'm a luxury photographer. I still have clients, but not nearly as many as I did Bottom line it depends on the business.
Speaker 1:At the same time, don't overthink it. At some point you've got to pull the trigger. I think you really need to be committed to your brand.
Speaker 2:I've been doing a lot of looking into the most successful brands and the ones that are the most authentic. If you're going to commit to it, I'll shout out another local business owner, selena Holmes empowered mama company. She lives and breathes her brand and she empowers moms. It feels that way. It feels that way. She's so successful. I 100 percent admire her. I think that she's super authentic and her content is all uniform. It's very great when you love what you're doing.
Speaker 1:That shows that it comes through.
Speaker 2:She's super passionate.
Speaker 1:Yeah, With stepping back from now. Multiple businesses. I got to a point where it felt like I was pulling teeth to show up to do the bare minimum for that business. That's how I've been feeling. At the end of the day, you're losing more money than you're making because you're not even being productive. It's not even quality content or lead sourcing, it's just.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's hard when you also have to do everything. If you're not equipped with a team, you're doing everything yourself. I had to pay so much. We have not. That's another thing you have to remember. When you're a business owner, you might not get a refund.
Speaker 1:We haven't gotten a refund in three years If you're going to have to pay something make sure that whatever you get paid, that you're figuring out how much.
Speaker 2:I have to pay aside 30% of everything that I make. 30% goes aside for taxes I paid last year.
Speaker 1:And don't Do not. I did this. Don't be like. I'll take it from the next time I get paid, because no you will not, no, you will not.
Speaker 1:And then guess what? You're going to have to pull that money from somewhere else. Or if you don't have that money from somewhere else, then you're fucked and you don't want to get on the IRS's bad side, I mean. And then also the other side of my brain says fuck it, none of this is real. This isn't real. Yeah, what are you going to do? No taxation of that money. Actually, they do put people to jail, not for the amount of money I owe?
Speaker 2:No, but that was $3,000.
Speaker 1:That guy like how much, like that was Two miles of IRS not going to let you go out for $2,000?.
Speaker 2:I think I paid $3,000 last year, like.
Speaker 1:This isn't even real, not even back to what I fucking doing.
Speaker 2:Oh See, you don't think about taxes. You have to be your own content manager. The fact that I have to sit around and figure out what kind of content to put out when all I just want to do is show my art, that is so frustrating and like can't you just look at this picture and decide if you like it and you want to come see me for photography? Look, this is what I got. Like why do I have to make like 17 tick-tock?
Speaker 1:Why do I have to learn that stupid fucking dance? Do you remember when that was like the thing, the tick-tock dance? It was just like I tried once and I was pregnant. I think it's still up on my. I was a late-to-talk user.
Speaker 2:I was not in early-to-talk. Yeah, I wasn't either.
Speaker 1:I was at the tail end and I said, nope, not for me. And then I got back on Instagram and they're like guess what? We have reels. And I'm like, all right, cool, I feel like I don't make a lot of reels and I just kind of do whatever the hell I want because I don't care anymore. And that's such a freeing feeling to be like I don't care about the algorithm. Yeah, I want the algorithm to suck my metaphorical dick and I might be hurting myself here, but I just cannot.
Speaker 2:So I run my Blooming Vaves. Well, now it's a Bichon VIP, because I'm not really doing the Blooming Vaves Not that I'm not doing Blooming Vaves, I just don't. It's too much to juggle 18 different names for one business. So it's Bichon Studios period. So the VIP group. Like I have paid for education on how to run that group and like I could tell you how to run a successful Facebook group and a successful business, On paper, though.
Speaker 1:On paper Because I've paid for coaches, I've done all of the things and it's just like again, if it's just If it doesn't feel authentic to your audience and your clients.
Speaker 2:They're going to be like why is this bitch or her ambassadors posting another stupid quiz or this or that that literally has nothing to do with anything that we're interested in, or photography? Like there are some things that are fun, that are cutesy and like if they're holiday related or whatever, but like to just be pumping out every hour on the hour Like the item.
Speaker 1:I'm also like, how much can you really talk about Boudoir?
Speaker 2:I know.
Speaker 1:You know I am all about empowering women, but that's what should make a business or a. Facebook group.
Speaker 2:It should make it because it worked for this person and it's just like, and it's worked for a lot of people but like, if it doesn't feel right to me, like your audience, I think, feels that disconnect, like they're just like what is she doing?
Speaker 1:This isn't her. The last couple of weeks I was just like heart emoji caption who's coming in for? Yeah, I just but that's how it feels.
Speaker 2:I just love it.
Speaker 1:I don't have the words anymore, and even when you're like, we don't have to post anymore.
Speaker 2:I'm like oh Ben, yeah, yeah, no, I it's too much.
Speaker 1:It's too much, so that's something you have to think about. You don't have to have Facebook group for your business, but I mean that's one of the things, especially if you're an online business owner, that they really tell you to do.
Speaker 2:It's so hard to like, get organic, like inquiries to, though Like I should be word of mouth at this point. I've been doing it for so long, but you still get. I feel like most of my clients still come from Facebook or Instagram.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean I'd like it to go out to TikTok, like I'd like that, to like real people in.
Speaker 1:But I don't know enough about. I know that, like in previous years that TikTok, like everybody was going viral because the algorithm was like not, it was still new, it wasn't so modified, like right now, instagram is like a death trap, like you will die on Instagram because it's so hard. So they keep tweaking and tweaking and tweaking.
Speaker 2:So it's so like fine tuned that you don't get any and people can't shut down. I have so many, so many Boudoir groups on Facebook of other Boudoir photographers who keep getting shut down on Instagram because they can't share content without it getting like reported. I'm waiting for that ass picture.
Speaker 1:I think I have like one more strike before they permanently delete my phone on my Instagram. Yeah, so how are you?
Speaker 2:gonna see a Boudoir photographer on Instagram. How am I supposed to share my content? But then you'll have some people getting away with it and all it's like trying to go around like twerking.
Speaker 1:You know, some people get away with it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, or they'll get away with it if I'm putting like a blurb on the nipple, like they'll just like blur out the nipple and they'll be fine.
Speaker 1:It's like we're choosing favorites Mm-hmm, mm-hmm and I don't like who the favorites are.
Speaker 2:So last year it will talk about burnout a little. Last year around this time I Got hospitalized. I had a double kidney infection. Then after six months and I didn't know, that sounds like that because I was burned out.
Speaker 1:Look, how do you know I?
Speaker 2:have a double kidney infection for six months. Um, I got misdiagnosed, but a lot of it was just like I was not taking care of myself and everyone in my family was like well, when you won't slow down, like you'll be forced to slow down with really shitty doctors. Oh yeah, I definitely have yeah.
Speaker 1:But I just feel like I have like. I've heard multiple stories where it's like it's been yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, you know like if you don't, this is like your body's way of like telling you to stop because you weren't, and so like if you're not gonna stop, we're gonna force you to stop. So I Took a little bit of time off last year, but I feel like this past year has been really slow to like get the business moving again. But I also feel like I haven't been super passionate about a lot of it because I've needed to take care of myself more right, so it's been really hard to like Find the motivation. So I'm not super surprised about the studio like Closing, because I don't think that I've been giving it necessarily a hundred percent.
Speaker 2:As far as like the others that like the art, the Experience of the photo shoot, the actual photos like I think those are still quality, but like the con, like promoting marketing, like keeping up with, like the running of the business itself, has been so draining and I really need to like start focusing on myself again. So it's really hard to find the balance because I Like I haven't worked out in forever and I really want to start working out again. I haven't gone to a go with class. I want to do that again. I Wanted to like get my house like Decorated. We didn't decorate for Halloween at all, maybe it was so devastated. Like, well, I promise we'll do Christmas, but like I just haven't even.
Speaker 1:I've just been like Just bought little tiny, like big Christmas trees to put on top of like the TV thing, and I'm like, yep, there it is. It's super early and I usually don't decorate this early, so I feel like Crazy, but I'm like there it is, actually feeling doing this. But what I was gonna say about you know, not giving it your all or whatever, like If you don't keep up with taking care of yourself and what you need to for your mental health and your physical health, and you Put it all into your business, like the end result is like what he said, like you're gonna have to take that time. So it's like from the beginning, instead of working towards burnout, why don't you? Or we should be, it's not, why don't you? Because I mean, we all fucking do this. You get wrapped up in it and you don't think and then all of a sudden you're like at the end of the road and it's like how do I even get here? But like, make sure you keep up with those schedules and don't, yeah, let yourself fall.
Speaker 2:And don't beat yourself up on a day that you're not productive because, like sometimes, rest is necessary, right.
Speaker 1:I still do pretty bad. I'm like you're such a busy reason to do anything today I have to go throw in, throw in some laundry, just so you did something.
Speaker 2:Feel like you're right, but it's like you know, yeah, the negative, like the negative stuff. So like I definitely have days where I literally do nothing and I didn't start like feeling okay with that until very recently, like because I really like I got my I mean myself sick, like I can't keep doing that and, yeah, you just have to really really allow yourself those breaks, because I think that people get lost in their business a lot of the time and then when it does fail, they don't want to Put the energy into like reviving it again.
Speaker 1:That's. That's a hard place to get to. So, again, instead of driving yourself to burnout, just Make sure that you're prioritizing you. You're still there, it's not, yeah, and with which it's, in the beginning, especially like it's hard to do. That's easier to say that than to do it.
Speaker 2:But when there was also that disconnect for me with the business is like I was I blooming, gave us about empowering women. Like I'm empowering women to love themselves, to take care of themselves, for self-care, self-love Like how you can't pour from an empty cup. I'm preaching all this and I'm practicing none of it. Like that's not authentic. That's not gonna get my clients in the door. They're gonna be like this bitch was talking about all this stuff and she's she's hospitalized because she's not taking care of herself.
Speaker 1:It's always easier said than done. Like Putting it to work, like make it, yeah, making it a priority to do From the beginning is gonna save you a lot of time, money, exhaustion, hospital bills. So, coming to the end of this episode, let's recap one if you're gonna start a business, start a business. Think about what the economy looks like, but don't sit on it too long. You don't need too too much to education. Yes, you passionate your brand. People are gonna know whether you're just spewing bullshit or you really think you really believe what you're saying. Right, burnout, it's gonna happen. Plan for it, yeah, but Plant to avoid it. Yeah, try to work away from burnout from the beginning. Hopefully you got something from this episode. We kind of again Rambled, but that's fine. I think there were some little golden nuggets. We are socials and links are in the show notes. Next week's episode.
Speaker 2:We're gonna definitely dive into some unfiltered advice.
Speaker 1:Yes, Unfiltered advice. And we also have the tell me a secret thing Coming up, which is gonna be its own episode, probably in the next couple of episodes. So submit your secrets. We want some listen. I want that tea to be so hot. I'm not looking for ice tea, I don't. I don't want tea that's been sitting out on the counter for a couple hours. I want that right off the stove hot tea, all right? All right, we're rambling again. All right, we'll see you guys next week. Thanks for listening.