Ever wondered how to keep your sanity while juggling the mayhem of parenting from diapers to pre-teen drama? Well, we've got you covered! Join us, Ashley and Brittni, as we unlock a world of mom hacks—think noise-canceling earbuds to drown out the toy symphony and a strategically placed mom station to ease postpartum recovery. We're dishing out everything from the sleep-saving grace of a Snoo to the secret behind maintaining harmony when your partner's entrepreneurial dreams turn your family life upside-down.
Hold on to your baby carriers, because we're taking mealtime by the sippy cup, blending heartfelt advice with a sprinkle of humor! Whether you’re pureeing squash or debating the merits of another chicken nugget dinner, we're right there with you, sharing stories from our own kitchen escapades and pondering how ice cube trays became our unexpected meal prep MVPs. And for the picky eaters? We've got tactics that respect tiny taste buds without turning dinner into a battlefield—because who needs another food fight on their hands?
Beyond the bibs and high chairs, we get real about the quirkiness of family life. From our naming traditions (hello, 'E' dynasty!) to the not-so-silent battleground of bedtime, tune in as we swap tales that'll have you nodding along or laughing out loud. So, whether you're navigating the choppy waters of supporting a spouse's business dreams or just trying to choose the right pajamas for a wriggly toddler, hit play and let's get through this parenting journey together—one hack, one hug, and one hearty laugh at a time.
https://linktr.ee/millennialmomsunfiltered?utm_source=linktree_admin_share
Ever wondered how to keep your sanity while juggling the mayhem of parenting from diapers to pre-teen drama? Well, we've got you covered! Join us, Ashley and Brittni, as we unlock a world of mom hacks—think noise-canceling earbuds to drown out the toy symphony and a strategically placed mom station to ease postpartum recovery. We're dishing out everything from the sleep-saving grace of a Snoo to the secret behind maintaining harmony when your partner's entrepreneurial dreams turn your family life upside-down.
Hold on to your baby carriers, because we're taking mealtime by the sippy cup, blending heartfelt advice with a sprinkle of humor! Whether you’re pureeing squash or debating the merits of another chicken nugget dinner, we're right there with you, sharing stories from our own kitchen escapades and pondering how ice cube trays became our unexpected meal prep MVPs. And for the picky eaters? We've got tactics that respect tiny taste buds without turning dinner into a battlefield—because who needs another food fight on their hands?
Beyond the bibs and high chairs, we get real about the quirkiness of family life. From our naming traditions (hello, 'E' dynasty!) to the not-so-silent battleground of bedtime, tune in as we swap tales that'll have you nodding along or laughing out loud. So, whether you're navigating the choppy waters of supporting a spouse's business dreams or just trying to choose the right pajamas for a wriggly toddler, hit play and let's get through this parenting journey together—one hack, one hug, and one hearty laugh at a time.
https://linktr.ee/millennialmomsunfiltered?utm_source=linktree_admin_share
Hello and welcome to Millennial Moms Unfiltered where your host Ashley. I'm Brittany. This week, we're going to be talking about mom hacks from birth until 11 years old, because that's all we know so far.
Speaker 2:You'll make experience again.
Speaker 1:So without further ado, let's get into it. So I didn't prepare well for this. I really was like I'm going to sit down and just write them all out. Hacks will just come to me yeah and it was just like it was crickets the whole time. So, we're winging it a little bit and hopefully we can think of the hacks On the fly, yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I guess we can start with, like babies, mom hacks us with infants. I think there's a lot of silly ones that people don't even realize that are hacks.
Speaker 1:But let's start from like immediately postpartum. I was thinking about like having a like mom station, like in the bathroom, like making sure you have your pads, your ice packs, your little the water bottle thing to clear out. Yeah, which hazel pads, all that things just already set up so that when you get home from the hospital you don't even have to think about getting anything situated.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's already there so like in a little basket.
Speaker 1:So you have to set that up before you, even like when you're packing your hospital bag. I would just do that then, and, in addition to that, setting up a feeding station in your room, right next to your bed, so that whether you're breastfeeding, bottle feeding, whatever that, it's all right there so you're not getting up in the middle of the night. It took me a while to figure that one out. I didn't do that until like Eden was probably like eight months old and I wasn't sleeping and I was like I could bring this stuff to my room.
Speaker 2:I didn't. I did do it with me. If I didn't do it with Kylian, I don't know why, like I, just Kylian was like everything was just. I don't know the second one's different. You just do it like everything was like whatever. Yeah, so we've had a changing state, a feeding station, everything was like very accessible and easy for me and I made my life harder with Kylian and we had just moved into here. Oh yeah, so I was going up and down the stairs in the middle of the night, the house.
Speaker 1:I lived in with when I had Eden. It had stairs and I was just like I'm so tired, this is bullshit. So I figured that out and then with Eli in the beginning I like half forgot about that and my kitchen was like right down the hall. So I was like it's not a big deal, but I can't tell you like the difference it makes to just have it right there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so much easier.
Speaker 1:Like that walk. Really it just throws off your whole like sleep even more, like putting the lights on all that crap. Yeah, you won't go back to sleep as easily Like, the less you have to do in that moment, yeah, the better it will be for you to get back to sleep and then also before the babies here come up with like a realistic, like splitting tasks with your partner if you have a partner there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like whatever that looks like for you, if you do the feeding, they do the change after the feeding, or something like that, just so that you can go to the bathroom and change your pad if you need to, or just go right back to sleep or finish pumping, whatever you have to do, and just come up with little things like that just to make everyone's life like, set expectations all across the board and then just make it a little bit easier on yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely set expectations to your partner. As much as I love Patrick, I have done every midnight feeding every middle, like middle of the night, not necessarily midnight every middle of the night, feeding and changing for both my children, all of them. He never has done one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my kids don't sleep like.
Speaker 2:Mine either. They're terrible sleepers.
Speaker 1:When I was already like okay, so Eden didn't sleep through the night till he was like two, eli, when I was pregnant with him and still wasn't sleeping through the night. So I was like I'm going to buy a snoo and that saved me so many day. I loved it, I fucking loved it. He was so comfy in there, he slept. It was easy to get him back to sleep. It kind of takes care of it before you know he starts freaking out.
Speaker 1:It kind of like rolls him back to sleep and it stops. If he's crying or too upset for more than like two minutes, it'll stop and it'll alert you because it's like hooked up to your phone even though you're right there. So I loved that. That helped him sleep a little bit. But then now he sleeps like shit. So I mean kids just sleep, my kids just don't sleep.
Speaker 2:My kids are not good sleepers Anything.
Speaker 1:I can do to get a little bit of sleep. I was like help me.
Speaker 2:Help me. I did the doctor for Killian and I thought for sure that was going to be my saving Grace, cause it got me through like a week's worth of sleep. And then it just he started rolling so quickly that it's like cool, but also yeah, no something, I couldn't do it. And like even now so he's three and a half and when I do bedtime with him, I lay down in his bed with him and he tells me to hug him. He said, like like face me, hug me, like he needs me to hug him to go to sleep Like he needs that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I still cuddle Amy, that like weighted Like a weighted blanket.
Speaker 2:I'm scared to give him a weighted blanket, cause he's only three and I don't want to do that.
Speaker 1:I mean okay. So this is going to be a really controversial topic, but I think there are some guidelines that are just like really airing on the side of caution. I feel like, yes, there's been cases where kids sleep in their bed with the parents and like the mom rolls over, but like if you know you're a hard ass sleeper, don't sleep with your kid.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, if Pat's a super heavy sleeper, I'm the lightest sleeper ever and both my kids end up in my bed. Killian comes into my bed every night, probably between the hours of two and three, like without fail every night. Yeah, maeve is like hit or miss. She's a couple couple times here and there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, I just got back into the habit of waking up and coming to find me and I'm like so everyone's sleeping horribly all over again. I slept in.
Speaker 2:Killian's bed the other night because they both ended up. Both kids were in my bed and Pat and he's snoring and I got up and came into Killian's bed.
Speaker 1:Gio's, like I missed you. I just wish you could sleep together. And I'm like bro, I know, yeah, wouldn't it be nice. But I feel like my kids are really hard headed for lack of a better term, like they're determined, so like, yes, no, we're waking up, we're coming to bed with you. No, I don't want to sleep and Aiman will have a tantrum in the middle of the night, and sometimes I just don't between like new schedules with eating and stuff like that, and like right now it feels like a good idea, now that everything's kind of upside down in the house anyway, to just really go ball to the wall with all of it. But I'm like it's probably long term not smart because at the end of this I'm going to be completely dead with no sleep, so we don't have many sleeping hacks.
Speaker 2:Yeah, not many sleeping hacks, except by a snoo.
Speaker 1:Oh, but what I meant, what I meant to say after that, is that like, yes, that is very pricey, but that is the one thing that I really invested in to get, because I knew that and by that point I already knew that spending all the money on all different like you don't need a swing, a bassinet, a jumper, all that, you don't need every single thing before that baby's here, I'm going to tell you all my kids they hated the swings.
Speaker 2:So I bought the swings.
Speaker 1:Like I feel like you need to like know your kid a little bit. Like wait till they're here, see, like what kind of motions they like, and then do it because I bought the swings and they fucking hated it. So like here's $300, $400, this giant swing in the corner of my living room Nobody ever used, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that that we should talk about things that you shouldn't need to invest into as like a hack, because I feel like there are so many things like diaper genies I hated my diaper.
Speaker 1:I love it.
Speaker 2:You loved it, I hated it. I just use trash bag. Yeah, it just took out the trash every day.
Speaker 1:It was just easy to have one place and it was just like confined to one face, and so that it didn't like feel like it was everywhere. I love the diaper genie. I don't think you need wipe warmers Like. I feel like, just like, if you want it to be warm, like if you hold it for a couple seconds or like put it in your bra.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I also didn't do a bottle warmer?
Speaker 1:I didn't either.
Speaker 2:I always did room temperature water.
Speaker 1:I feel like if you have a breastfed baby, then that's probably when if you're supplementing with formula.
Speaker 2:That's when it right, it makes a little bit.
Speaker 1:It also really comes down to the baby too, like they might not care. Right, you have to do the absolute most with some stuff you got to let to know your kid a little bit and then, go from there, don't spend all the money, and then, well, I can sell it or whatever. But why even put the stress on yourself? I feel like less is more sometimes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I did the baby bullet for the first for me and I made all of her baby food and then when Kaleen came, I like the baby bullet was by then it was kind of like is crap, honestly.
Speaker 1:Like.
Speaker 2:I used it for me at first and I liked the little containers that it came with, but then they grow out of that eating so fast and it's so small, I just use the ninja. I have like the ninja food processor, and that was way better. You don't need to buy, like the baby right version of it. You want something that you can grow with, right yeah.
Speaker 1:It's kind of like you're limited for like what you get or how you use it for just like tiny portions. But if you have another food processor or something like that, it'll do the same kind of work and then you can use it for other cooking and all that and it doesn't look like it's a little baby potato on your counter.
Speaker 2:Right, you know. The other hack, though, that I learned with making their food. If you plan on making your kids food is getting silicone ice cube trays and filling the ice cube trays with the food. Yeah, the silicone ones, those are like a lifesaver.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I feel like there's so many uses for silicone ice cube trays actually.
Speaker 2:Yeah 100%.
Speaker 1:So there's that. That reminded me of something about food. Oh, that was a hyper fixation I had with Aamon. I don't know why I thought on my third kid I was going to make all the food and by that point I had already had my nutrition certification and all that stuff. So, like I knew there's not a huge variation between pre-made and like made at home food other than like taste really.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So but I was like yeah, I'm going to, just I'm going to do it. And it's like bitch, no, the fuck, you're not and I didn't.
Speaker 2:I was so good with Aamon.
Speaker 1:But Aamon was the best. We did baby lead weaning with him and that was awesome. Like I didn't actually even purée anything. He didn't eat purées, he just had really soft like it's like doing with Kaleon, and he eats everything. Now Like he's my least picky baby, and by three. The other two were like they wouldn't eat any vegetables.
Speaker 2:My kids have regressed. They used to eat so much and now they are so picky. And we're not a picky household Like that and I eat different foods all the time, like we actually enjoy, like trying new things. The kids are like so picky, yeah, and I, we did the same.
Speaker 1:I was never. I wasn't a picky eater ever. But then Eden obviously like he had texture issues and stuff like that Right Autistic. That should have already been like a thing. He was the worst getting to try new things. Eli, I feel like he eats more, like he like does rice and stuff like that. But now I think once they get to five, that's kind of when they start being like no, like I don't, that's me yeah, she's five, she's refusing everything. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't everything that she used to eat.
Speaker 1:She suddenly is like I don't like that, but I think like taste buds change, like when you get older, because think about like how, if you like. When I was a kid I thought Chef Boyardee tasted so fucking good, but when I eat it as an adult like I like try to go back to those childhood memories. When I was pregnant with Aimen. That was one of my like cravings.
Speaker 2:And after.
Speaker 1:I know and I knew it was gross. I'm like this is kind of like dog food consistency. It's disgusting.
Speaker 2:But it was all I wanted the smell. Is it the the smell of like spaghettios smells like? Oh, I love spaghetti.
Speaker 1:Yeah, same. It's gross, but like now as an adult we feel those things. But I feel like as a kid it tasted so good. Because all sugar, that like sauce, that it's all like, basically like ketchup, but like you can taste that it's not actual, like it's not authentic sauce. But as a kid you're like it's good.
Speaker 1:So I feel like at five they start finding like flavor differences and like the texture things. So that could like create those versions At least. I mean, I haven't like looked into that or have any like data backing that, but three kids in that it seems to be like around four or five is when they start getting like weird about certain things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, me was like not into so much stuff. It's drives me crazy.
Speaker 1:But I just like another thing too about picky eaters when you get to that stage because most people get to that stage is putting the food in front of them anyway, like giving them something you know for sure they're going to eat, like Eli, that's chicken nuggets, and then something that's new to try, like yeah, apple slices, or something that's like hit or miss they might and you give them the option and be like okay, like don't be like you have to eat this much. Like let them, yeah, where they want.
Speaker 2:We're struggling with that, like we want them to try new things. Paths like paths, only like requirement is like you just have to try it. But I also hate fighting with them about food every night, so I just like just give them what you know that they'll eat, like I know that.
Speaker 1:I 100% like. I I cook different meals for like. I'll cook one meal for me, amy and Gio, because Amy will always be down to eat it. Most of the time Eden's down, but Eli always gets his own separate dinner, whether that's a freaking grilled cheese or whatever, and I don't care, I don't mind that it's not, it doesn't, it doesn't bother me to do that. Some people are absolutely against that, but I mean yeah, you'll get something. I grow up think not putting the pressure around food. I'm really big on that, not putting you have to eat that.
Speaker 1:What about? What about the people that don't have food? I don't do any of that, I just give small portions. If you want more, you can have more. You have the option to eat this, and if you do it for long enough, like if you keep putting those apple slices in front of them, they're gonna explore it. Yeah, the very least. I mean you don't have to give them a whole freaking apple, but yeah, just put it there, you know, and let them kind of guide themselves.
Speaker 1:And as I paid attention to that with Aimen, I feel like I'm rambling about this but it was really interesting.
Speaker 1:I kind of did like an experiment with the baby lead, weaning like his hunger keys. I would like look at how in tune he was with oh, I'm hungry, I'm like, but you just ate, like what the hell. So I'd give him the food and then he would eat and then leave, like he'll eat a whole half of a sandwich and then have like two bites and then leave the rest and be like I'm full and then walk away and I'm like, wow, like they know how to listen to their body when they're all set and they'll walk away
Speaker 1:and where we like fuck that up for them is to be like come on, finish your food. You already ate this. You're only leaving this a little bit. Finish that bite. And that's what confuses them. So yeah, let your kid listen to their body. My mother-in-law, heavy like, pushes like come on, finish it, you gotta eat this. Do you want this, do you want this?
Speaker 1:and I'm like I get it, but like they're not dying right, or you know like they're they eat well, just like they're not always the same hungry every day like you're not the same hungry every day, so just let them guide themselves through this. I don't want them to have complicated relationships with food like I did so same.
Speaker 2:We have that, we have that talk all the time like because Pat will try and say, like well, why don't you have like X amount more bites? And like sometimes I'm on board with that because like they will literally have not touched their plate and I know that they need to eat something. But other times I'm just like please don't force it.
Speaker 1:Like there were so many nights that I was like sitting at the kitchen table like last because I hadn't eaten anything, because I just didn't want it, like I truly didn't like it and I wasn't gonna eat it and I just had to sit there and yeah, I mean, there definitely has to be like that gauge, like, okay, you haven't eaten anything today and you might not feel like you're hungry, but like you're gonna go to bed a little bit, you're gonna wake up in the middle of the night and tell me where's my skirts and there have been so many like 10, 10 o'clock, 10 pm, bananas, because Killian's woken up like two hours later I'm like I'm all hungry.
Speaker 1:Amen will wake up in the middle of the night and Mianzhu like order food after the kids go to bed, because we're horrible people oh, we do that sometimes.
Speaker 1:We do it. Um, a good amount of time is really we. We stop now that I've started like working out and like paying attention to my food, because I used to wake up bloated and just like, oh, but it's like sometimes that, like late night, chinese hits, so Amen will wake up and he won't say anything. He'll just sit on the couch and be like bite and then he'll like have a bite and he'll be like I won't go in the night, and then I'll just go back to bed like okay, that was great.
Speaker 1:Have fun with with this. Let's go. So he's so cute with this food.
Speaker 2:What other infant hacks, like infancy diaper changes.
Speaker 1:I always put the diaper under the like, the new diaper under the under their butts, so like if anything gets anywhere right and with boys you don't need like the PPTP, you can literally just use that use a wet light, but yeah, or just like it doesn't take that long to just you know if there's no poop it just yeah, it's not, you don't need any of those like things to like.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, he's gonna pee on me and you know sometimes they pee on you. I have a video of the first time I get Eli a bath, him peeing on me and I was like, yep, okay, I'm glad we got that on video. Even, actually, one of the first times I gave him a bath to all my kids, they peed on me and it's just like Killian, that's not the worst thing that's gonna happen to you as a parent. No, no, no, oh, what is that? The Frida baby and Frida mama, whatever all those things. I fucking love that. Don't waste your money on the damn bulbs, don't just. It's not gonna get what you need out of that baby.
Speaker 2:Use that sucker.
Speaker 1:Use that sucker. People are grossed out by it and it is kinda gross and if you sit there and think about that, but at that point like that baby's so little and cute that you're just out of it, but you're not getting the bookers in your mouth.
Speaker 2:There's a stopper there, there's a sponge stopper, but it clears them out so good.
Speaker 1:Last night I was so stuffy I said to Gio I was like I wish we still had that nose, frida, and he was dying. And he's like I make you suck it. He used to get the kids like he would saline them and they just really get it and they would hate it.
Speaker 2:But they would be so clear after.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, that's a forever, forever thing that you need for your kids until they figure out how to blow their nose. My kids still don't know how to blow their nose.
Speaker 2:Maeve struggles. She has a hard time. Kylian's pretty good at blowing her nose. Maeve still struggles and I think she has something going on like ENT wise, but we'll say because she has like fluid in her ears right now, actually cause we just found out she had strep throat last weekend and they're like her ears aren't infected but there's a lot of fluid in there. I'm like great, well, she can't freaking, blow her nose.
Speaker 1:Should she use it for tubes? I don't know.
Speaker 2:She never had issues when she was younger. Yeah, that's interesting.
Speaker 1:I think that there's like a certain age where they're like it's just not even worth it, cause the air canal is not so small. So I don't know what they do about that.
Speaker 2:For older kids. Yeah, I don't know. She's also failed two of her hearing tests at school, but then, when the doctor did the they were fine. Eli does too.
Speaker 1:I'm like, is it just because they're not paying attention?
Speaker 2:Yes, she's just not listening for the beep, yeah.
Speaker 1:And then one time Eli failed a hearing test at the doctor and they looked in and he was oh, this boy I'm so sorry, guys, if you ever listen to these when you're older, but I'm just spilling it all right now. That boy creates so much earwax. So does Kelly Like actually all of my kids create a decent amount of earwax and I like don't, and I think that's a diabetic thing. Like I think my like endocrine systems just like fuck to shit.
Speaker 2:So like.
Speaker 1:I don't create a lot of like.
Speaker 2:They say, if you have like oil, if you're oilier, so like if you have oily scalp, if you have like oily pores.
Speaker 1:They don't. They're not really, though. I mean, there's so little, I don't know how I would even tell that now.
Speaker 2:but yeah, kelly doesn't, but he gets like really. He gets a really sweaty head, like when he sleeps, and he gets really and it like drips out. He gets really bad earwax.
Speaker 1:I'm constantly in there trying to take it out and they're like stop it Every day.
Speaker 2:I clean his ears almost every day.
Speaker 1:I can't believe what I see, and they've already. When I looked up online, it says that if you have to get it removed physically, that usually only happens once or twice in life. You know, what I mean. I'm like round three of that shit. You know what.
Speaker 2:I mean Really yeah.
Speaker 1:Wow, and they come out in big clumps, yeah, and I'm just like child, I'm trying to get it Like.
Speaker 2:It reduces a lot of earwax. I think Pat does too. Maybe it's like a genetic thing, or maybe it's a man thing, cause I don't. I don't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I really don't. I wish I did. I love that. I love watching those videos. So it's like people getting their oh ear candling when people go to like the ear cleaning things Like I love all I'm a freaking.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm a weirdo.
Speaker 1:I'm a weirdo with that. We keep getting off topic, like always.
Speaker 2:Always Okay, more mom hacks, mom hacks, mom hacks.
Speaker 1:I feel we need older kid mom hacks.
Speaker 2:Older kids.
Speaker 1:I feel like, okay, so if you, I'm loud, I yell a lot and I get frustrated and I found that if you give your kid options like one or two for almost everything, you're gonna alleviate a lot of the pushback for most things. Yes, some people are like do what I say? Just this is what it is. Come on, let me just pick it and this and whatever. Like okay, do you want to wear the shoes or the shoes? Do you want to get yourself dressed or do you want me to pick out your clothes for you? Like give them two options, but that are already predetermined options. Like you choose the option so that they feel like they have more control of what's going on, but you'll be fine with either option.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it alleviates so many of the arguments or where they try to stand their ground and, yeah, that saved me a lot of.
Speaker 2:It took me a while to figure it out. I don't know if anyone else's kids are a little neuro spicy like mine for sure, but getting them to clean is really hard. So we make everything a game. So it's like who can clean up faster, like who can get Kaley clean up your monster trucks me have cleaned up your coloring stuff. Whoever gets, whoever can clean it up faster, wins. They don't win anything.
Speaker 1:They just keep bragging right. So the problem with that for me is like Aiman gets upset and then Eli is like I'm the winner and Aiman's like, ah no, they take it seriously. And Aiman like every time we're just walking to the car and they're not like running or whatever he's like. But Eli won and I'm like there was no game, so I can't. I used to do that, but then I was like Everything was a competition.
Speaker 2:No, this takes it very.
Speaker 1:They take it very seriously. They're competitive like me. I guess I didn't think I was competitive and then I learned that it depends on the day my kids can be competitive.
Speaker 2:They race to the car every day. They wanna start at the end of the driveway and run up the driveway to the car every day and it's like who can get in first. But like Killian still needs me to buckle him, me can get herself in Right yeah, and does she go like I can do it because that's what.
Speaker 1:Eli does, he teases her, he teases him about it. And I'm just like, can you please? And Eli swears to God he has middle child syndrome. But I'm like, sir, you get the most attention. Like everyone thinks Eli is so cute and he just gets the most attention cause he kind of like goes out there and like puts himself out there, like he likes to be the center of attention. And Aiman's like way more reserved and like my mother-in-law, this is her like second kid.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like Eli is like her kid, yeah, so like going there, this is all Eli's stuff and like you have the most attention, like it's not fair. I don't get this and I'm like bro Does.
Speaker 2:Eli get mad if you give like the other, like if I ever say like oh Killy, you're so handsome, oh Killy, you're being so cute, and we have a bit of what about me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so last night we actually went back and like looked at all the like pictures and videos and stuff from like when we first got together and like when I was pregnant with Eli and all that stuff, and like Eden was a hilarious five year old Like I forgot how funny he was, but I have like videos of him outside like playing, like he was Mario and he like ran and slipped out of the shoes he was wearing, which was Geo slides, and he was like, oh my mommy, he was wearing a Mario hat and I was just like oh my God, I forgot that.
Speaker 1:Stacey went through so funny. So we were going through like all the kids and we were looking at Eli for a long time and he was a cute ass baby. He made so many cute sounds Like he was so vocal. I should have known then he was never gonna shut up because he even at like four days old he's making so many like just loud for no reason, not upset anything, just talking. So we're laughing at all those. And then Aiman comes in and he's like oh, I want to see baby Aiman. So we went, showed him all the pictures and Eli was like was I cute too? And I'm like we just sat here for 40 minutes looking at Eli videos. I'm like it's Aiman's turn too. Yeah.
Speaker 1:So yeah, he swears that he doesn't get the attention, and I'm like you sure do. Yes, you do the same with yeah, Same with the pictures, the only thing is like you are able to do certain things by yourself. That's how cool. I'm asking you hey, go get yourself some water, because I know you can do it. Aiman can't and that's the only difference, that treatment wise, because I'm treating you more like a girl.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're capable of doing those things.
Speaker 1:So we're in a weird little stage age wise about like that kind of thing.
Speaker 2:Yes, well, we have the same ages. So, yeah, they're definitely competitive with each other and I like don't get that, because I didn't grow up that way Like my brother and sister are seven years younger than me and I was always like I know it sounds ridiculous, You're probably like you were seven, how were you a second parent?
Speaker 1:But I was literally like a I mean a third parent yeah, seven year old girls, typically with babies, are like yeah, I can totally see that.
Speaker 2:I changed diapers, like I was always helping my mom and my mom and dad had, like they worked. My dad worked first shift, my mom worked second shift, so they were always with us. So I was always like the helper, like I was constantly like the second set of hands, because it was always one parent at a time for the most part. And then I started babysitting super young. So like I just don't get the whole, like yes, they annoyed me sometimes, but like I didn't treat them like my siblings.
Speaker 2:They weren't two years younger than me.
Speaker 1:My mom and my aunt were four years apart too, and my mom it was the same thing, like she, especially at like the beginning, like that was also her baby and that was also in like the 60s and in Brazil. So like you were kind of the mom anyway. But I think that once you get to that like four, five age range difference, it makes it cause like Eden was six when I six yeah, six when I gave birth to Eli, and I mean he wasn't like an alternate parent, but he was able to help you.
Speaker 1:There was no competition, Like he wasn't there wasn't jealousy, because he wasn't interested in the kind of things that were happening. So, he never came to me and was like this is a total side note.
Speaker 2:I'm going to. We're going off topic. We have to get back on the hacks. But did you, was it a plan to have all your boys start with E?
Speaker 1:Or was it just like coincidence? Yeah, totally planned, totally planned, oh well, so I named Eden, obviously, and there was no forethought about anything. And then when we had Eli, I was like well, do you want to do the whole matching name thing? And Geo was like sure, so we didn't agree on anyone's name ever. And then I was just like you know what, fuck it, I don't need him to kid, you go ahead, name him. So Elias, okay, fine. And then we had Amen, or I got pregnant and I was like we're going to stay in E. I was like, if this is our last baby and it's a random letter, I'm going to feel weird, like it feels like it needs to match. But let me tell you, blindly, picking an E name with Eden, like that one just felt right, like I'm so Eden landed on E didn't like intentionally choose a letter or anything like that.
Speaker 1:But then you're kind of stuck with that when you decide to go with the letter. So Looking for a third ename. Do you know how hard it is to find boy names that are ease, that are not like?
Speaker 2:boy names are hard in general. I had one, so it was so hard to find enames for me and I'm not names, boy names.
Speaker 1:I thought about that song from like early 2000s like Fuck, what I said you don't, as all I kept thinking about was that guy. That was the only ever time I ever heard that name. But I was like, okay, no one else's name, that I don't hear it a ton. So here we go and then eventually, like it grew on me. But I did not love my two little's names from the beginning but I just gave in. I was like this isn't a hill I'm gonna die on. Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:So mom hacks that you guys were supposed to set in. Everyone was asking about if I was gonna share the mom hacks, but nobody contributed. So I don't have many To share from those, but someone said that. So when the batteries die in the, the batteries die in the toy, to Say, oh yeah, I gotta buy more batteries, I gotta buy more batteries. I keep forgetting to buy more batteries and just like, keep living that lie. I never replaced the batteries in the toy and I stand by that and that's an active practice in my home. I Feel like I went through. I bought all wooden toys when I had a man, like everything from like Eli I kind of got rid of and we went like the real, like wooden toy, montessori, kind of like vibe and I loved it because my house was like loud, but not like Fake noise.
Speaker 1:Yeah, being lights loud and that drives me insane as a mom. I just I it's so overstimulating, yeah, oh, another mom hack is getting those Earbuds, the noise-canceling ones, because it doesn't take out all the sound but like that kind of like overactivity Battery noises it takes out enough that like you can hear your kid talking but you're not like Overwhelms by the sound of those like artificial sounds.
Speaker 2:So there's that, if you want to let your kids have battery operated toys, my mom hack that I sent in was buy a house on the same street as your mom. Yeah, because If you can, live close to your village.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my mother-in-law lives right down the street and I stand by that too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a wonderful like.
Speaker 1:I Am my sister too. We live all like the same. That's funny, like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my, I'm literally 15 houses down from my mom on the exact same street.
Speaker 1:It was not planned, but it ours was kind of we were looking in the same area, but it really just, and my mother-in-law keeps moving closer. She started off like a mile down the road and now she's like at the end of the street. That's funny and I'm like.
Speaker 2:All right, my mom, like I feel like, so my kids go to her house every Thursday night and they just like they hang out there and we picked them up before bed and so like they have that time with her every week, which is awesome.
Speaker 2:But, like my, my mother-in-law and father-in-law live in Uxbridge, so it's like a half hour away, which is where we used to live and it was really helpful when we were only like five minutes away from her when, when the kids were oh and me was, we moved when she was two. So it was helpful being so close to them too, but I it sucks when they're like you have, you have your In-laws are so separate, so far away.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like, especially when you like have something to do and you like need to drop them off or something like that, like the time it takes, like that drive in between it does suck.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was a bummer because we we knew we wanted to come back to Cranston, because we lived in Cranston before we moved to Uxbridge for a few years. But we also lived in Johnson for a little while, where I'm from East Providence, pats from North Providence, so we knew we wanted to be closer to Providence again. We didn't want to be out in Uxbridge.
Speaker 1:So right, that was a bummer about looking for houses in mass and I'm like, but it took me so long to find doctors that I liked.
Speaker 2:You know like want to do this again.
Speaker 1:We're like 34 minutes in and we've I mean, I feel like we've shared some things. We've shared some things that I I do when people are like what are you doing? What?
Speaker 2:do we talk about the? This is back to a baby one, but by the, by the pajamas with the zippers, not the snaps.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a good one. I feel like also before bath times, like make sure you have your shit set up, don't like. Go don't, yeah, you don't want to have to leave the kids in the bath you care. Well, I mean when they're newborns, you don't right? But, I mean like, especially when they're newborns, like just like set up the shit beforehand.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's just cuz that you saw, was just me like damn it, I forgot this and like have to like run and go grab something here, I'm just like, whatever you can do in any stage to be prepared ahead of time, even when, like, they start school, anything that you can prepare for the night I mean the morning before, yeah like clothes, lunches, whatever you can.
Speaker 2:Yeah, get done ahead of time.
Speaker 1:And that's why, like I make sure my kitchen's clean, like the night before, like some people are like leave it for the morning, like it kind of depends on your vibe, but like I can't, I don't like leaving my kitchen chaotic, because then when I come in for breakfast and stuff or whatever I'm gonna have set up for the kids, yeah, it makes me feel like Like I'm behind already and it just makes me like I can't focus well, especially if you have a morning where you are kind of running behind if you have, like another thing to tackle.
Speaker 2:That's just gonna stress you out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then I hate like leaving to do whatever I'm gonna do and then come home and like there's dishes and the same distresses me out, mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Do we?
Speaker 1:actually even have any mom packs. Like am I actually?
Speaker 2:moming rotate toys. This is a mom pack that a lot of people have told me. I personally haven't done it.
Speaker 1:Rotating the choice we do, that we have, I mean, cuz we don't. I mean we kind of do buy a shit ton of toys, but not really like at the same time. I feel like Eden when he was younger. I bought a crap ton of toys and like we just have them out all the time and you didn't play with any of them. We have like toys that we keep like in the closet, mm-hmm. But now this they realize that we are Switching them, so they go in there and take things out and yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna go fuck ton of toys, um, but like Even from the beginning I say don't buy all of the toys. No, yeah, don't, they don't care about them.
Speaker 2:No, we have so many things that they don't touch and like Killian will literally just like. We have one of those like cube things from Ikea in front of our TV and the bottom row has this filled with drawers that are filled with their toys and they, just, they'll just dump the baskets and just pick the same toy every single fucking day. Killian only plays with monster trucks. Literally the only thing he plays with Killian monster trucks, and they rotate. Which ones that?
Speaker 1:they're interested in. So I literally every like month or two will dump it out and just anything that's like broken pieces, something that doesn't match a set anymore. I just like dump all those things out or things that I haven't seen in forever. They're obsessed with plushies right now and they take up so much damn room that closet is filled with stuffed animals, yeah, that clothes, stuffed animals.
Speaker 1:I have stuff in closets, but I'm like they keep coming back. I'm like I want to get rid of them, but it's like they like to see them just sit there. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Why.
Speaker 1:It's taking up so much space. So yeah, I say, don't start off buying a whole bunch of things because they're not, they're not going to care about them. No, no, we keep saying what else, what else Set the boundaries with your kids and expectations. Young, that, like your shower time is your shower time. You know Privacy, I mean to a degree. I mean I feel like we're just like kind of out there but like, yeah, the times that are your time, like okay, the kids know I set you up for breakfast and then that's my time to get ready.
Speaker 1:Those like 15, 20 minutes. Don't come in here, Give me those minutes to get my like face and like mind together for the day.
Speaker 2:Killian, deal with it, you know like if I'm in the bathroom and he, he'll come up and he'll just like open the door and I'll be like Killian no, mommy wants what did I say? Don't want me, want some privacy right now. He said, okay, I don't have any.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, we're actually all out.
Speaker 2:Like nope, it's not something. You need to give it to me and go away.
Speaker 1:All right, I feel like we're just like beating a dead horse. I hope that you guys have babies that are young, or young enough that some of this can apply to you guys.
Speaker 2:Older kid hacks no we're gonna have to think about it.
Speaker 1:I'm actually not thriving in that department right now. There are. There are no hacks Once they're older, and it's not simple. It's, it's there, it's just it's not simple. They're complex and their beasts, I think, every kid's different. Yeah, that, and I think that, just like across the board, I think letting them have like autonomy in some way and not be controlling pick your battles really is like a thing like what's our? Hat. Pick your battle. Yeah, what is like actually important to you and what are you just fighting to fight about? You know?
Speaker 2:yeah, you can't worry about, like the power trip of parenthood, like you really like, I think our generation is doing a lot better.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was far as like, especially like he only wears crocs and shorts, like he does not wear long pants, and for a long time I thought about that, yeah, and I mean he's autistic, so it's different. But I mean, is anyone really going to die if he's wearing that?
Speaker 2:No, that's our, that's our big thing. We like if something's bothering us, we have to like stop, we step back like why is it bothering you, why is it bothering me?
Speaker 1:The communal expectation or is it because there's a valid reason for it.
Speaker 2:Right and like if someone is, if no one's going to get hurt by this happening, if this isn't going to affect her later on in life or him you're not going to fight it, then I'm not going to fight it, like same like I can't do it. It's not, it's really not worth my anger and frustration. Or making your kid feel bad for literally no reason. For what cause they want to wear something?
Speaker 1:that you don't like. So with him we're working on like clean clothes, clean body.
Speaker 2:Yeah, hygiene.
Speaker 1:But other than that, what am I going to do? Right, Me.
Speaker 2:He's picked out her outfit yesterday and it it pained me a little bit but it wasn't that bad, but it was bothering me, yeah, he didn't used to wear like it's not that bad Mids, mismatched like checker, plaid like shorts and then shirt, different color and striped pattern.
Speaker 1:All right, not terrible, but it would drive you crazy like red, white and black and then like blue, yellow and yeah, no, and different sizes, like smaller, checkerboard whatever, and then bigger, like just completely, and I was just like all right, like you dress yourself.
Speaker 2:and she had like a little house on the prairie, kind of like boho top yesterday, and it was cream like, but more on like the yellowy side of cream. And then she had this ruffle denim skirt on and then sweater tights that were white, like stark white. So the two whites did not go together. That drove me. And then glitter combat boots.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's not like the worst.
Speaker 2:It's literally not that it was. It was white blue, white blue. She like that's what it was her clothes being mono chromatic too, and that drive.
Speaker 1:Yeah, eli is very into to making sure everything matches. Like if he's wearing like red and black, then he has like to have like a red shirt and then like a black jacket, like he's very that's so funny anal. About that he gets very upset, but it's not the same. I'm like listen, it doesn't have to be exact. These things match enough in a way that like it's okay but he gets really hung up on those things. So that's fine, I'm like okay, then you're just going to do matching sets because that's how.
Speaker 2:yeah, matching sets are easy. Those are to hack If your kids pick you out clothes matching sets.
Speaker 1:Yeah, give them to matching sets that are interchangeable. Let them choose from there. We do have a ask Brittany advice question that we keep saying we're going to do next week. And guess what next week is here we're going to, we're going to do.
Speaker 2:Oh shit, all right, we didn't tell me this ahead of time, so it's all on the fly, yeah.
Speaker 1:I didn't return the question I asked. I said do you want it before? So you can like think about your answer, or do you want me to just read to you? I read it like when it first came in and then forgot about it. But anyway, okay, so here it is. I've been with my husband for six years, married for two. We both work in corporate America. I like what I do, but I'm not passionate about it. I've come to terms with working and being able to enjoy the slow slowness outside the office and use it as me time. Recently, my husband has brought up the idea of starting his own business and, while I want to be supportive, I feel like it's taken over our lives. It's all he talks about and I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about my income being the only one supporting the family. It really feels like we aren't connecting and he's heading into direction that I'm not necessarily excited about or so far for my life. I'm feeling lost and frustrated. Help.
Speaker 2:Oh, so many questions.
Speaker 1:I know I feel like do you have kids?
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's more questions. I have more questions. So, as someone who is an entrepreneur, who cannot work for corporate America like I, personally I've had every job you could possibly imagine. I've worked a lot and I've worked hard. I started working when I was 15 and I always had like more than one job. I always had multiple jobs. I always worked overtime. I always busted my ass when I was in grad school. I was going to grad school full time, had an internship and a job, and I know how to work hard, but I don't like being told what to do. Yeah, so I was fortunate enough to find a partner who truly wants me to be happy.
Speaker 2:Pat knows that me staying home is a sacrifice for our family. Yes, I have an education. I could go out and get a job tomorrow no problem, a 9-5, and I could be contributing to the family financially. However, based on what he makes and the fact that we still have a kid who's home, we chose not to put our kids in daycare. I rather spent that time at home raising our kids ourselves. So that was a choice.
Speaker 2:But our kids are going to be back in school in a couple of years and or not. Back in school, pat was going to be in school and I can go get a job and we would just have to figure out after school care. Or I could continue with entrepreneurial stuff which, at the end of the day, pat has said like I want you to be happy. So whatever avenue you decide, we'll put our focus in it. But if you don't want to go back to a 9-5, that's fine, and he's been super supportive. What are your reasons for not being super supportive? Is it what he's doing, like the kind of business that it is?
Speaker 1:Right, it sounds like it's just, it's all he talks about. It's like his hyper fixation.
Speaker 2:It could be his hyper fixation.
Speaker 1:And I think to some degree, when you're starting a business, like that's what it is in the beginning you have to eat, sleep, breathe. You have to.
Speaker 2:Like all of it. You're not going to be successful if you don't put all of your eggs in one basket, which I know is really hard to.
Speaker 1:Things you could do is be like listen, I need from 6 pm to 8 pm to be our time. I need a date night a week and when we're on our date nights, Like you set those boundaries. But I think that if you say not to do it, he's going to resent you. But I also don't think if he's not making enough money to supplement the income that Right, you know, I don't think that he should quit this job to, and if you have kids Right, particularly if you have kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so we were fortunate enough where we didn't have to worry about that. Like my income would have just gone towards daycare. So like his income pays the bills Right. And when I was starting the photography, my income was extra Like that was helpful to us. That was like vacation money or spending like stuff for the kids, like gymnastics classes, and soccer.
Speaker 2:So like, yeah, I don't know, it's tough. There's a feel like there's a lot of other questions we have here, and whether or not you have a family is definitely going to play a role and what your income is going to look like without his. But yeah, setting those boundaries.
Speaker 1:I think, yeah, I think it's really all about boundaries and like, but what's upsetting about him not working in corporate America? And I'm glad that you're. I think those are really two like different kind of people that are in a relationship together, because there are the people that are good with just working for somebody else and living their life outside and then there are people that just really aren't. So maybe Like.
Speaker 2:Why does it bother you Like? You also have to like maybe ask yourself these questions. Is it bothering you because it's something you like?
Speaker 1:to do. Also, what do you like to do? Like, are you really settling?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think, yeah, same, feeling a some type of way like jealousy I don't want to say jealousy, but yeah, jealousy or resentment, but he gets to live his dream.
Speaker 1:But I also don't think that it sounds like he should quit his job until he knows that his whatever that business is is gonna be bringing in money, particularly right now and we talked about this in earlier episodes that, depending on what you want to start a business in, especially if you're from Rhode Island, it's hard out here right now and there needs to be some mindfulness around that I don't know if you're worried about like immediate or like what the future holds, but I don't panic about something that's not happening yet and I just think that, first and foremost, the boundaries need to be set, because I know as someone with ADHD I don't know if he has ADHD, but I like need Geo to be like hey, I'm over here, Like I've been hyper fixated on that for long enough yeah.
Speaker 1:Like just like, reel it back in. So maybe just remind him, hey, like I'm still here too, and if you don't have kids especially, then to that, to like enjoy that time together, right? So I don't think that he has to completely give it up, but I also think it's a little bit unrealistic to think that he should quit his job right now, before he's making at least that.
Speaker 2:If you don't have kids, though, now would be the time to sacrifice sacrifice that if you can get out, if you can afford the bills, if it's going to happen at all.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I think boundary setting and being like, hey, from this time to this time is us time, and if you want to stay up and work online, cool. I also think that this is another time that you could really find yourself. I think that something like this could be mutually beneficial. Yeah, if you let it be. Yeah, I think you have to ask why? Why are you upset?
Speaker 2:There's definitely a lot to this. There's many layers.
Speaker 1:I get it that you you were in a relationship and married to someone, that you didn't see this going, but I think that if you can start a successful business, it's beneficial for everyone involved. It's just like not all the time is. Yeah, you come home from work and then that's your time, and you know, it's definitely a lot more, not so nine to five. There's a lot of in between, but eventually, depending on what kind of business he's, he's thinking about yeah, there's so.
Speaker 2:there's so many you can hire.
Speaker 1:You can hire people at a certain point, like there's always going to be the beginning of it, that's, that's is the sacrifice unknown and someone's going to have to sacrifice. And yeah, you might have to sacrifice some of your relationship, but again, that can be alleviated with boundaries. It does not matter how obsessed you are with your business. You just have to talk about it and you can give your partner two hours and you can give up one day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you both have to be prepared for, like, the ups and downs of a business.
Speaker 1:Right. So good luck, good luck. So we are going to end this episode here. Follow us on our socials. Leave us reviews, because that helps boost us on the platforms that you guys are watching. Even if you're not huge on YouTube, go like and subscribe that channel and we'll see you next week. Bye.