Ever found yourself at a loss for words during an unexpected run-in with your mother-in-law? You're not alone! Our latest episode is chock-full of the wildest tales straight from our listeners – think uninvited honeymoon guests and breastfeeding critiques.
We're not just swapping stories for giggles; there's a hearty dose of wisdom on setting those crucial boundaries and mastering family communication. Join us, and you might just find the perfect balance between a good laugh and gaining the tools for peaceful cohabitation with the in-laws.
Navigating the choppy waters of in-law relationships can be as intricate as orchestrating a symphony, and boy, do we have some notes for you! From awkward 'oops' moments to dealing with the relentless pressure of when to start a family, this episode peels back the layers of these complex dynamics.
We're opening up about our own proven strategies for privacy, chuckling over embarrassing memories that have become the stuff of legend, and tackling the emotional whirlwind that comes with family expectations. Brace yourself for a journey through the sometimes challenging, often hilarious realm of parent vs. partner.
As we wrap up, we venture into the sensitive territory of respecting adult children's choices and the repercussions of ignoring health concerns. We also share our thoughts on the gravity of domestic violence and the resilience required to overcome personal trauma.
If you've got a tough mother-in-law, consider us your honorary stand-ins, ready to lighten the mood with humor and empathy. So tune in to hear how others are sailing these stormy seas, and get ready to share your own secrets with us next time – we're all in this together, and we can't wait to hear from you.
Don't forget to leave a 5 star review if you listen on Apple Podcasts for 12 chances to win a one of a kind MMU glass tumbler. Just leave your review and your IG handle or FB name to qualify!
https://linktr.ee/millennialmomsunfiltered?utm_source=linktree_admin_share
Ever found yourself at a loss for words during an unexpected run-in with your mother-in-law? You're not alone! Our latest episode is chock-full of the wildest tales straight from our listeners – think uninvited honeymoon guests and breastfeeding critiques.
We're not just swapping stories for giggles; there's a hearty dose of wisdom on setting those crucial boundaries and mastering family communication. Join us, and you might just find the perfect balance between a good laugh and gaining the tools for peaceful cohabitation with the in-laws.
Navigating the choppy waters of in-law relationships can be as intricate as orchestrating a symphony, and boy, do we have some notes for you! From awkward 'oops' moments to dealing with the relentless pressure of when to start a family, this episode peels back the layers of these complex dynamics.
We're opening up about our own proven strategies for privacy, chuckling over embarrassing memories that have become the stuff of legend, and tackling the emotional whirlwind that comes with family expectations. Brace yourself for a journey through the sometimes challenging, often hilarious realm of parent vs. partner.
As we wrap up, we venture into the sensitive territory of respecting adult children's choices and the repercussions of ignoring health concerns. We also share our thoughts on the gravity of domestic violence and the resilience required to overcome personal trauma.
If you've got a tough mother-in-law, consider us your honorary stand-ins, ready to lighten the mood with humor and empathy. So tune in to hear how others are sailing these stormy seas, and get ready to share your own secrets with us next time – we're all in this together, and we can't wait to hear from you.
Don't forget to leave a 5 star review if you listen on Apple Podcasts for 12 chances to win a one of a kind MMU glass tumbler. Just leave your review and your IG handle or FB name to qualify!
https://linktr.ee/millennialmomsunfiltered?utm_source=linktree_admin_share
Hello and welcome to Millennial Moms, Unfiltered. On today's episode we're going to be talking about mother-in-laws. You guys sent in your worst mother-in-law stories and we're going to read them. And react and react yeah.
Speaker 2:I tried.
Speaker 1:I've read a couple of them because I couldn't help it, but without further ado, let's get into it. All right, so mother-in-law stuff. Before we get started, I want to remind you guys about leaving a five-star review on Apple. We'll give you guys other chances to win these tumblers that are completely one of a kind. Leave a five-star review and contact information of some sort, like a handle, to Instagram, and you could be chosen to win. We'll do other Instagram giveaways like this too, but let's start with Apple. Sounds good. Yep, that's all I wanted to say about that, sorry.
Speaker 2:I'm going to preface this episode about mother-in-laws with oh yeah, I had to. Just I apologize. Any of you have horrible mother-in-laws. I am fortunate enough to have the best mother-in-law Patrick's mom and my mom. I'll leave you a little backstory. They have known each other since they were eight and set us up, so my mom and Pat's mom have been friends forever and she's just the best. She is not your typical mother-in-law. She does not do half these things, I'm sure. Oh, come on here. But so, yeah, I'm sorry that you guys don't have that.
Speaker 1:Okay, we're going to work backwards on these.
Speaker 2:I've only heard one of these, so I'm my reactions.
Speaker 1:I got two that were like two me, without going through the links, and Okay, and also I just want to preface this by saying this is all in good fun, like we're not dragging people through the mud. Work your shit out, you know.
Speaker 2:And some people Set boundaries and be a good communicator.
Speaker 1:Oh, that reminds me I forgot to do the Ask Brittany thing. It started this whole thing, but anyway, yeah, the older generations haven't done the work to handle some of these situations. But also, some of you guys do have mother-in-laws that actually are sociopaths.
Speaker 2:So there's that too they are monster in laws.
Speaker 1:But also like don't feed into it. We're bigger people, okay, but boundaries are important and they should follow and respect your boundaries. All right, Now that I'm out of breath, I'm like do I even work out? No, All right. First one, Does my mother-in-law showing up to surprise us halfway through our honeymoon and combo count as bad, a bad in-law story? I was pissed. It was bad. Same resort and everything. It was them, the priests that married us, and three of their friends. They told us that they were watching us all day and were surprised that we didn't notice. So when we started talking about boundaries this is exactly what we're talking about I just I can't imagine doing that. You know, I don't know what it's like to think that.
Speaker 2:Like what went through their heads, not just the mother-in-law but the father-in-law and then four other people. All thought that that was a good idea.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry you brought the priest Well, I'm about to be some shits going down in this hotel room right now and you brought the priest On the honeymoon, Okay, yeah, I would never have that thought. I would never even be on the site to buy tickets for that. Like to me. You stole a moment away from your son, that's hard. Yeah, I just. I don't even understand how we get there. I don't understand, and also how was that handled?
Speaker 2:Because, like I know that, if something were to ever happen where I felt like I couldn't handle a situation because I didn't want to be disrespectful to my husband, I would definitely expect him to handle it Right. Like you need to deal with this. Where do we go from here?
Speaker 1:And I just, yeah, I'm all about like that's like before the kids and everything. I've had experiences where I felt like moments were stolen from me, and so this is one of those things that's aligned, that is, is it's so wrong, it's so wrong. Oh, this is a long one. Okay, I know, Do you want to read it? It's a long because you know how I am with words.
Speaker 2:Oh no. My 30 year old husband suddenly and unexpectedly died last year from septic shock, leaving me with a whole ass house and a now seven and two and a half year old kid. We had the best relationship for about 10 years and we're never the on and off type of relationship that I feel like a lot of people deal with. We never broke up or took a break None of that. He was my literal best friend, any, who, fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, my mother in law was essentially telling me that she does not understand my struggle.
Speaker 2:Her argument was there are plenty of single mothers who do it all on their own. I tried explaining to her that I'm not a single mother, I'm a solo fucking parent bitch. There are no weekends to look forward to having all to myself because the kids will, because the kids are with their dad like other single moms. Their kids go with their dad. Sometimes there's no tapping out for a little while when he gets home from work. There's none of that anymore. Her rebuttal was but plenty of single moms don't have support of their kids father, whether because they argue don't get along, or the father just simply doesn't have anything to do with the child.
Speaker 2:I looked at her dumb ass, dead in the eyeballs, and said I did not choose to have kids with a toxic man. I did not choose to have kids with a piece of shit. I chose to have kids with a decent human being that you raised. Those are not the fucking same. You should probably leave now. And we haven't really spoken since. She hasn't asked to see my kids, she hasn't checked in to see how any of us, especially my difficult seven year old, is doing. I'm just holding a garage here a little bit and I'm not sure how to let go of it and essentially turning into resentment.
Speaker 1:I just want to say you handled that so much and you're getting emotional. Because I'm getting emotional, I just feel so horrible.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like I this is like, not like my mother-in-law was being an annoying piece of shit.
Speaker 1:This is someone that's not processing their own trauma? Someone?
Speaker 1:that's taking it out on the wrong person and you're also going through it and, like you, started a life with this person and it was stolen from you as someone that was a single mom with one kid who was autistic, and I had my parents' support and I had a little bit of backup, but it was still fucking hard. It is so difficult to be a single parent, especially when it was never the plan, especially when you have to process your own thoughts and feelings on a situation that 30 year olds don't plan for, that you don't plan to die at 30. No, no, that's horrible. Then you're processing, you're helping your kids process their feelings about missing their dad. That is so much, and it is cruel.
Speaker 2:What is she not understanding your struggle? What struggle? What is she referring to? That she doesn't understand your financial struggle or your promotional struggle.
Speaker 1:Probably all of it Just wanting to break. How do you not?
Speaker 2:understand that struggle. What does she not get about that?
Speaker 1:It's like you're just trying to be cruel. She is just trying to be cruel because it is so. Yes, if she was never in that situation, honestly shut the fuck up, and not even respectfully. I think that woman should shut the fuck up.
Speaker 2:Respectfully. No, it's not the same. You do deserve a break and she should be the one there helping. You should be able to rely on her, especially considering you both lost someone very important. That would bring you together.
Speaker 1:That should be a bonding experience and an experience for her to be like I don't know why you're not doing a better job. First of all, I want you to know that you're doing a great job and you're doing the best that you can with what you have, and just how you handle the situation is better than I would have, yeah. I'm sorry girl, that was heavy.
Speaker 2:That was heavy. I'm really sad now, I know.
Speaker 1:My wife and I are happily married. Oh, this is from a guy. Oh, oh, I don't know what's happening Doesn't matter. Love is love here. My wife and I are happily married. But let's go back to a decade ago when we first got together Early 20-year-olds still living with our parents and fucking like rabbits. Back then, my mother-in-law would always end up coming home absolutely shit-faced One night while she was out. We started getting busy.
Speaker 1:We're in the heat of the moment and suddenly, out of nowhere, my mother-in-law the barge is in my wife's childhood bedroom and then, absolutely hammered, we threw the comforter over our naked bodies. My penis was literally inside of this woman's daughter. As the woman proceeds to plop down on the bed on top of the comforter, right on top of us, she begins ranting about how the bar was and how the owner and the owner's wife would not let her drive her car home. Turns out the owners had to drive her home and she was telling us about it, while the entire time we were trying to act normal, as if my dick was not inside her daughter's vagina underneath her. I just want to know like-. I'm really glad I had a man sent this in. I'm so happy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a nice little change up. I've got questions, though. Did you stay hard the whole time, like-? I didn't expect that question, no?
Speaker 2:it didn't slip out. How did you recover? Did you when she left, did you finish?
Speaker 1:Yeah, did you guys just like call it a night at that point? Because I would have just was there no locks, damn. I mean, you weren't expecting her to come home, but it's like what's the mother-in-law like now, did she?
Speaker 2:still did she still do this? Did she know that that was happening?
Speaker 1:Was this ever talked about?
Speaker 2:Yeah, she should have phased it and you got married her so did I skip one man? That's hysterical. I'm sorry that your mother-in-law doesn't have more boundaries. You know honestly, but also you were fucking in her house Right and she was drunk.
Speaker 1:She had no fucking idea what was going? On. I don't have a ton of stories like that, like I've never really really been walked in up with the kids, but I mean I think that happens to everybody, not like in any we're pretty good at rebounding. We have like a plan.
Speaker 2:We're like if we're doing it next time, or we?
Speaker 1:could be walked in on.
Speaker 2:We have a lot of we haven't been walked in on the kids. Most of the time after they've gone to bed, or we've locked the door in our bedroom, so that's fine. See, the kids broke our locks, so Sorry, mom and Megan Nick, but when I lived in my mom's in-law apartment my brother would just walk into my apartment sometimes see what we had for food and luck, like there were a couple of times our pat and I were on the couch and I'm like.
Speaker 2:Nick go away, like scream, like go, go, go, go go, and he'd be like okay, sorry bye, but like she never saw anything, knock. No, they didn't knock.
Speaker 1:They just locked the fucking. Yeah, I don't know, I think my sister did. I don't just walk in places even like my kids room. I always kind of like something I don't know and I don't know why it just is so. Hopefully I don't. No, I've never had to like, Although or maybe I want to because it's kind of hilarious.
Speaker 2:No, you have to respect people. I've never had to recover from that kind of situation, so yeah, I've never.
Speaker 1:I don't have many stories. That's pretty funny. That were bad, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I do have follow-up questions, others, I do have follow-up questions.
Speaker 1:I met my significant other when I was 19 and he was 20. We both lived with our parents. This is more of a his mother-in-law story, meaning about my own mother. We love those. We had only been dating a few moments, oh moments.
Speaker 2:Five four minutes.
Speaker 1:This is why Brittany's gonna read the fucking rest of them, because I can't read. I'll read them. We've only been dating a few months. What a few months. At the time we were in my bed watching a movie where we both fell asleep. Hours later he woke up and he was leaving. He noticed the kitchen light was on. As a nice guy, he went to shut it off and just as he made his way back to the front door, the light came back on. So he turned back and looked at it, saw my mother, butt ass naked, walking back into the kitchen from where the light switch was. The next morning my mother said I think your boyfriend might've seen me naked last night, laughing my fucking ass off. When I asked him about it, he denied seeing anything for months and finally one day he said okay, I might've seen a side boob. 11 years later two kids, a marriage, a house, etc. He's still scarred for life.
Speaker 2:I mean, that's not bad, it's funny.
Speaker 1:First of all, I love your mom for being that free with herself to just walk around the house naked.
Speaker 2:Where's With her 19 year old daughter upstairs.
Speaker 1:Well, that's the thing is like you gotta have a little bit of awareness about it. Like, if I know I have people in my house, I'm not walking around naked, how will she lose a little of the?
Speaker 2:night, so she didn't think that anyone was there.
Speaker 1:I mean yeah, but no, I know, I know that's too risky for you. I mean I take calculated risks. That was not well calculated, there was too much risk. Yeah. Too much risk and that's hilarious, that she's like you know what? Fuck this. I'm turning the light back on.
Speaker 2:I think your boyfriend may have seen me, but I did turn on the kitchen light to show him, so I'm fucking hungry. And in my kitchen I was making a sandwich.
Speaker 1:All right, next one.
Speaker 2:Oh man, thankfully this is now my ex-mother-in-law, but I was sitting in my daughter's nursery a week home from the hospital struggling to breastfeed. My daughter was crying for four hours as I was trying to feed her. My ex refused to buy formula until the doctor said my daughter needed it. But that's a story for another day and that's why we get divorced. That doesn't say that there. But since it's her ex-mother-in-law, I'm figuring.
Speaker 2:So finally I got my daughter to stop crying and fed enough to where she fell asleep in my arms, at which point I'm now crying. As I let her sleep, my mother-in-law walks in the room unannounced, says my turn and takes the sleeping baby from my arms and exits the room without another word. I was left speechless 10 minutes later, my daughter now screaming again. I hear her say oh, she's cranky, I'll just come back again tomorrow. Hands are to my ex and naturally he gives her back to me and leaves the room and we're at square one all over again.
Speaker 1:Okay, so I have a lot of things to say about this One. As someone who struggled to breastfeed, I feel you For him. Thinking that he had any say or control over that situation is so ignorant. Yeah, that's about him, I understand the thought process of saying not till it's an emergency, like wanting to give you the shot, but it doesn't sound like he was-.
Speaker 2:He should have said what do you want to do? Right?
Speaker 1:that's so up to you and putting that extra stress on you. That's the only thing he should have said and risking any kind of issue with your daughter is so ignorant.
Speaker 2:Yeah so I'm glad you're divorced. Yeah, glad you're divorced.
Speaker 1:I mean, I hope you are too, and just showing up to people's houses. That was the thing I said immediately You're not just gonna walk in. And Gio had the same thing, Like okay, I have to back you up on this. We need a heads up. We can't just come in, especially after having babies. We know hospital visits. We waited, and it's so stressful in itself, just like hormonally and just like not knowing what to expect with how to-.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that Feed and I think that a lot of the time when you have a new baby, everyone goes there to see the baby and no one ever remembers the mom.
Speaker 2:And I think that moms need to be way more taken care of postpartum and you definitely need to understand that, like that's their baby, that they just delivered, that, even if it's a week later, like they, the moms, want time with their babies Like they don't wanna just deliver this baby and then let everyone in the room hold that baby Like no, I think that people forget that cause it's so exciting it is and I get it and I get excited when my friends have babies and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:but like you gotta really-, you have to give space. I always, prior to having my own kids, was the friend or the cousin or the whatever like I can't wait to go see the baby. And now I'm like, oh my God, what do you need and when do you need it? I'll be there Like tell me when you're ready and I'll bring you whatever you want.
Speaker 1:And some people are okay. Some people are okay with having kids and just immediately, you know, and whatever. That's cool, But-.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's changing, though, and I think a lot more you locked up. I think a lot more people our age are more vocal about it, but in this situation it sounded like she was just in the depths of postpartum and like didn't really know how to react to that, because you probably never expected it to even happen. Right, You're just like what does that mean?
Speaker 1:But also for breastfeeding moms that are struggling to breastfeed. I want to remind you that when babies are born, their bellies are the size of cherries. Like the big it's a bitty Cherries, so yeah, like the big red ones aren't like seeded. They need way less milk than you think that they do, especially the first couple of days, and then it does grow. But I think we think that they're gonna feed like nine months old and they don't. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Copyright © 2020 Atomic.
Speaker 1:Take that also and if you are read about it. Yeah you're, you're probably doing better than you think that you are when it comes to breastfeeding.
Speaker 2:And if you're a mom who wants to breastfeed and you're having challenges, don't give up, like if it's something you actually want to overcome. You you probably can, as long as it's not like a tongue-tied situation or something with laughing yeah if it's something you're set on doing, I would say don't give up. But if it's like you're teetering and you're don't want to feel like a failure, fucking buy that formula right there's there's, you're not a failure. That is fed, yeah, that is best.
Speaker 2:I tried breastfeeding both my kids and both resulted in being formula fed and it's exhausting and it's also a little your full job, yeah, if you don't have the mental health. I didn't. It was for my mental health that I had to switch. I couldn't do it took.
Speaker 1:I beat myself up a lot with the first two, but with amen, when the first time I started feeling Just like a negative emotion about it, I was done. Yep, I was done, and I let myself be done, and it was the best postpartum period that I had, because yeah, I wasn't an added, yeah, yeah, emotional thing, you know.
Speaker 1:So next one nothing worse than a mother-in-law scared to let go. Yes, prior to us getting together he lived with her and once she told me my son is never moving out. Well, here we are, finally out of the house, and I swear I went from a go-getter, best woman for him to Questioning if I put bad juju on him during my last retreat. I don't know what that means. I feel like part being, part part of being a parent is Understanding. At some point you're gonna have to let go of that human, like you're not giving birth to this human to hold on to them For the rest of their lives or your life, whatever, um, you're, you're preparing them to go out there in the world. So I feel like women that are this attached to their kids, had kids for the wrong reasons, that and they're not they never emotionally matured or Healed things that they probably went through as kids and then just bring that into their kids lives and then in that way, end up kind of fucking their kids up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you have to. I saw a tick, tock and it was a woman. She was practicing how to be a good mother-in-law and she was like reciting all these things that you would say as a mother-in-law. That would be the right thing to say, like, of course, we'll see you. If you, if you were having things coming in our house, if you can make up, make it great. If you're can't, no worries. She's like I'm not gonna be a terrible mother-in-law, and I thought they were like you really do have to remember that You're gonna. Probably, if you have any kids, you're gonna be someone's mother-in-law someday. Don't be a monster like and Do. You need to get. Your whole point of being their mom and raising them is to let them like, fly free someday. You need to trust that you do a good job and Let me say.
Speaker 1:This is something that I see a lot in my husband's family. He is Puerto Rican and everybody is old-school Puerto Rican and it's like mom comes first, the elders are everything.
Speaker 2:Yeah like.
Speaker 1:To some degree I understand that, growing up in an old-school Portuguese household. But we're thinking is this generation of you know, like his cousins and stuff are doing a good job at like? Yeah, unraveling all that and setting boundaries?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like. So I'm Portuguese and Italian. I would say that me and my mom are pretty co-dependent, but it doesn't. It's not taught in a toxic way like she's my best friend, she knows everything, I tell her everything, but she would never. She would never like Let that, let anything I ever say about her, about someone like sway her opinion, like she loves Pat, she knows that husbands and wives like sometimes have bad days. Like she would never get involved or like do anything like that. But we are like I do tell her everything, but I Don't have. I don't have like my mom trusts me to make my own decisions. I don't have someone like you need to do what I say yeah you can't date that person or be with that person.
Speaker 2:My mother-in-law lived with us for a while and would complain to me that she didn't think I was Satisfying him enough because with her being home ever, every day, all day, she never heard us then leave, then fucking, how do you? Say to your son's girl friend why are you worried about our sex?
Speaker 1:life. Why are you worried about what he's doing? Um, as a boy mom times three, I'm trying, and my kid Eden, he's getting to that age. I'm trying not to ever think about what's going on with his weakness. You know what I mean? Like I don't know. That is such a weird thing. Here's another one.
Speaker 2:It's just about that, really yeah.
Speaker 1:Jesus Christ, this is creepy.
Speaker 2:We're like on creep. It's so like to pivot off of that. My mother-in-law used to beg me to compare my man's penis to other men I've been with. She would constantly ask me if it was bigger or smaller than so. And so and tell me how, in her experience as his mother, when she would change his diapers as a kid, she would always admire how much bigger. Admire she would always admire how much bigger it wasn't. Other children she used to change. And now she wonders why he doesn't talk to her. That's fucking weird.
Speaker 1:I, that is really weird. No, that's, I don't know To me.
Speaker 1:That makes me so uncomfortable Like pedophilia ways, like why are you ever looking at children? Like yeah, you obviously have to take care of your kids and you see their stuff, but to like even think about it is very weird. Nope, don't like it Cringy, so cringy, I just really don't have anything. It's just so fucking weird. Like, and I am pretty open sexually, like I explain like questions that they have like we'll talk about it and stuff like that. But as far as putting yourself in the mindset to think about your children fucking is, so it's weird.
Speaker 2:Gross it's weird and like to ask about their genitals, like that's also fucking weird.
Speaker 1:Mind your own penis Like it's so fucking weird. That is so weird, ew. I'm glad he doesn't talk to her anymore All right.
Speaker 2:Two weeks after I started dating my boyfriend, I met my mother-in-law, who instantly started berating me about giving him a child, because he's her baby and her only son and even though she had four other grandchildren at the time, she just wanted her only son, her baby, to have a child right away. A few years later and I still refuse.
Speaker 1:Like oh cool, I'm glad that's what you want, not your relationship. These parents without the boundaries. I like me and my mother-in-law. She's a strong Puerto Rican woman and she has a powerful presence, and Gio had never been with anyone that was going to speak up. I was, I did, I spoke up and everybody knows their place in the dynamic. Now, I was not going to let that shit happen.
Speaker 2:Like that is inappropriate.
Speaker 1:That's not how we're doing things Like boundaries from the beginning for me, because, yeah, I just can't. Nobody was going to be happy, nobody was going to be happy I don't. And to feel entitled to someone's body like that, those things are so. Things are so wrong to me. Imagine telling someone you have to get pregnant. I can't.
Speaker 2:I can't imagine being some of like. I can't imagine ever doing some of the things that I've like, some of the things we've read. But I also can't imagine like being these women, like in situations like that.
Speaker 1:I love.
Speaker 2:Patrick so much I feel like if his mom ever did any of these things, like I'd be like her or me because I cannot, that's a terrible thing to do Like you need to set these boundaries or not going to be able to deal with it, Because I I'm so thankful that I don't have that and then being with somebody if they they aren't willing to like intervene, because I do know some men that are scared might be like an extra word, I don't know, but but don't want to speak up to their moms and it's like you better speak up.
Speaker 2:Well, because if it's a healthy relationship, your mom wants what's best for you and you should be able to talk to your mom, you should be able to express and set boundaries and know that it comes from a place of love, right?
Speaker 2:But some moms especially ones of sons with Self like yeah, when you have a mama's boy, you have to like I think it's your job Like I'm Kylian and I are like so close, like he's 100% a mama's boy and I have to be very aware of like that I don't want him to be that kind of mama's boy Like we're not. Someday you're going to have to not pay attention to what I say and maybe listen to your listen to where your girlfriend says, or boyfriend or whatever, cause I feel like he would be like I'm going to do what my mom says, yeah.
Speaker 1:And I also think there's a difference of being like oh, I would love you guys to have kids or whatever, but then be like this isn't pressure, she's the word berating, so it had to have been pretty intense. But I'm saying it's okay to be like oh, I can't wait to have grandchildren, I can't wait for you to have kids, if that's what you want, if you guys are going to have kids. Right If I would love it, but it's also none of my fucking business.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's also a lot of things that I think you have to unlearn when you become a parent, because you might have these expectations that one day you're going to plan a wedding with your kids, or one day you're going to be a grandparent and your kids might tell you fuck, that I'm not getting married or having kids.
Speaker 1:You always have to right, you have to remember it's not your life. It's not your life. You chose to have kids.
Speaker 2:You didn't choose to. I don't know what what I'm trying to say, but so we decided to elope and not tell anyone. The day after we were married, a picture got out and my mother in law sent it, sent family members to our house to harass and question our decision. It almost ended in a physical altercation. Come to find out a few days later she made the entire family cut contact with both of us, blocked me on all social media, even people I've never met. That was almost a year ago. Till this day I'm still locked, all right.
Speaker 2:So first of all, this goes back to exactly what we were just talking about. If your kid decides to elope, you should be happy for them. It's not your wedding.
Speaker 1:It's not your marriage it's not, and I think you really have to. I feel like parents are really good at being like you're not the center of the world, and then, all of a sudden, you're a grown adult and they think they're the center of the world.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And it's like no, I understand being like you. She 100% is entitled to be upset about it, Disappointed Cause I mean, yeah, you want to be there, but if it's not like they invited other people and didn't invite you specifically, it was it's a them moment, it's a it's a moment for them.
Speaker 2:Also, if you were probably a great mother in law that had a great relationship and weren't toxic at all, maybe you would have been invited.
Speaker 1:And then also you would. Family that showed up. Yeah, it sounds like you're not missing out. It's fine that you're blocked. Fuck it. Yeah, you, that's yeah.
Speaker 2:no, that's the appropriate response to finding out your kid gets elopes is oh my God, congratulations. Do you need anything for the house, or whatever? And or do you need any money towards your honeymoon, or? Um, I can't wait to see pictures. Right, that's it.
Speaker 1:And I love you so much Congratulations, but it's okay to be upset for not being there because, yeah, it is a life milestone but you don't get to do anything other than have feelings and let them go.
Speaker 2:Parents don't have a right to your decisions. Like just because you get married, just because I'm your mom, doesn't mean I have a right, like I feel. Like just because you're a family, you don't have a right to my kids. Just because you're my mom, you don't have a right to come. Like doesn't mean you're going to be there.
Speaker 1:And that's how I feel too, and I that really sucks, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, well, no, you, you better off without them. Yeah, I mean, you're missing a lot. You're missing out on a lot of drama.
Speaker 1:Something is supposed to be like the happiest time of your life. You come home and you have to deal with. Yeah, that's the harassing family members.
Speaker 2:That's drama. No, it started over half a decade ago when I wouldn't pay for her dinner at Chili's. We were there for a gathering of 10 people and everyone paid for themselves. She assumed that because I invited her, I had to pay for her multiple drinks and dinner.
Speaker 1:Can we just stop right there, bitch? No, this isn't a date, wait, wait.
Speaker 2:She has not accepted me or liked me, since she has threatened to send the MOB after me. The mob, the mob. Okay, but I was like I'm the mob. I don't know. I was the mob in capital so I thought mother of the bride, but she's. That wouldn't, that wouldn't work. So she threatened to send the mob after me, wished me and my family ill and death, oh, and left several inappropriate drunk voicemails, including one saying she doesn't suck, tick I mean this one is the mob's not coming for you.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna say, if you start throwing shit around, that if people that are like I could get this person to kill you, this, these people, those people don't know who the fuck you are bitch. You have no connections this is chilies, Okay. And then you want to just like really make yourself look like shit and be like I'm sucked together, Like then, what do you have going for you?
Speaker 2:You can't afford chilies.
Speaker 1:You don't suck dick and the mob's not answering the calls. Who?
Speaker 2:even are you. Oh man, I'm sorry that that's your mother-in-law.
Speaker 1:I would fucking like. Just okay, no, that's horrible. I was gonna say I would play them at family gatherings on the big screens. Check, check.
Speaker 2:And Sherry said out on this one. The voicemail's on loop.
Speaker 1:What does your partner say about that, though?
Speaker 2:Yeah, there are a lot of these follow up questions to like what's the partner?
Speaker 1:Where's your partner in this?
Speaker 2:Oh man, poor her, poor partner. I'd feel like imagine, like that's my fucking mom.
Speaker 1:I just can't like the context to be like and anything to like. I'm calling to tell someone off of me like and I don't suck dick, like what being an adult.
Speaker 2:Grow up, suck a dick. That could be on one of the tumblers.
Speaker 1:That one really threw me. It's that's never like. I just don't understand where your mind has to be to be like I'm better than you because I don't suck dick Like okay, this is the weirdest flex.
Speaker 2:These are good. Also, ashley pointed out, no one wanted to ask for advice or like spill the tea when it was about them, but it's about something else yeah for the Chet Time episode nobody.
Speaker 1:We got literally like one, like six, not even ten not even eight. We got like 15, and that was overnight. I gave you guys weeks to send in for the tea time episode and then eventually I was just like, fuck this, I'm going to do it anyway. This was less than 12 hours and we got 15 responses and you guys did not disappoint. Oh, are we get serious? I don't know what to expect.
Speaker 2:A little bit of attempted murder. Oh, my mother-in-law pretends to forget I have a severe nut allergy and sends my fiance home with cookies and brownies every week with nuts and says they're not free. Then goes oh, but there's almond extract in it. Or it's Heath bar. No nuts, almonds are nuts. She wants to buy my wedding cake as a gift and I refuse because I think she wants me dead. This is I think. You can't buy my cake because I'm pretty sure you're going to put nuts in it. Oh my God.
Speaker 1:When she texted me this, I was like I can't stop laughing. But this is actually really serious.
Speaker 2:So, bad.
Speaker 1:At what point do you contact the police?
Speaker 2:Like literally poisoning your food, and they're like oh, oops forgot.
Speaker 1:Like I don't trust any, I'm not eating pasta at your house.
Speaker 2:Nothing. You're just going to put she's putting pine nuts in that. She's putting pine nuts in the past. So for sure, oh my God, those are not not free.
Speaker 1:No, we can't. I told her, I don't know, oh shit. It's hilarious, but it's not funny at all she's actually that's a problem.
Speaker 2:Oh, do you really have a ghost in that door to soap by itself? I feel like we do have a ghost, that's okay, I mean, it is what I'm.
Speaker 1:Hey, let's just move on.
Speaker 2:I feel like I would not let her buy the cake.
Speaker 1:No, that, and you're not even trying to be secretive about it. You're not even doing a good job. Like you're not trying to secretly poison someone it's not free with almonds. Like your MO is to give somebody sweets that have nuts in them, that they have a peanut allergy I mean a nut allergy. And then you're like, hey, why don't you let me buy the cake? Like I don't know what your plan is going to be. Bitch, I know you're putting nuts in that cake. What's the next one? My ex-mother-in-law.
Speaker 2:Sorry, I started reading it. I should have done that. Yeah, it's okay. My ex-mother-in-law used to take her son's side for literally everything. Once he slapped me in the face at Thanksgiving because he was so drunk and I was trying to keep him from drinking more and his mother said you shouldn't have told him what to do If that was my son, hell no.
Speaker 1:If I watched my son slap a woman in the face, you're going to have to hold me back. You know what I mean. You shouldn't have told him what to do. No, okay, but this isn't a but. I feel like this makes me an asshole for saying but like she probably grew up in a really fucked up situation in her sense of reality.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but for her to say like you shouldn't have told him what to do makes me think that she's a complete enabler. I feel yeah. Yeah, she's never told him what to do his entire life, which is why he's now not a good boyfriend.
Speaker 1:That's the literal same thing as telling someone who got raped you shouldn't have wore that. It's the same like flawed, flawed logic, yeah.
Speaker 2:No, I don't like that at all. Oh my God yeah.
Speaker 1:No, if your son is acting inappropriate.
Speaker 2:You need to. I think it's okay, like for you to step in at that point. There was a physical altercation there.
Speaker 1:You shouldn't have told him what to do In front of you in front and that way in your thing was just like that you're fucking Also if he's he did that Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2:It sounds like probably in front of more than just his mom. Why are you drinking?
Speaker 1:like you, I can read this one. It's short, when mother-in-law are always making comments about having a baby, so this, oh yeah, that's we've already talked about this like mind your own uterus.
Speaker 2:Also, what if there is? This is what people that tend to forget. What if they've either decided already not to have kids? What if she can't have kids?
Speaker 1:What if that's like something that the mother-in-law knows nothing about, and then you're just like well, I'm sure that if there were any of the order already miscarriages or whatever there would be she would probably be talking shit about that too. Like it's just feel. Like it's not a good person kind of energy to pressure people about having kids. No no, just mind your own business.
Speaker 2:I get wanting to have 20, 24 and I get it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just don't ask people when they're out of kids. Stop asking people when they're going to get married. Let people live their fucking lives.
Speaker 2:According to what they want, not what you think they.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I read this one ahead of time because it was one of the ones that I read and it's just what it was.
Speaker 2:Once my mother-in-law cost me out for whispering to my sister-in-law about my mother-in-law while she was in the room she literally was sobbing and saying I was bullying her and told on us to our husbands, her sons. Anyway, I was not whispering about mother-in-law, I was actually telling my sister about how the cleaning lady found my vibrator on the floor that morning because me and my husband had been having sex and I had to tell everyone that's what we were whispering about because she did not believe me.
Speaker 1:So that's hilarious. I'm proud of you guys for using vibrators in your sex life. A plus yes.
Speaker 2:Sobbing though, and like Bullying you, telling on you to her sons.
Speaker 1:Listen so I feel like so childish. It is so childish. I feel like bullying is such a reach because nothing's being done to you. People can whisper about whatever the fuck they want to whisper about.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like, okay, so I don't want to be that guy, because I get really pissed off when things are blamed on this. But have we thought that maybe some of these, some of the milder ones, like the crying about being bullied, could be like a hormonal thing, like a menopausal? Oh, that's true, that's horrible. I mean, that's like people telling me I'm upset because I have my period, which I mean I probably am upset because I have my period, but also, like some of this shit is so childish.
Speaker 2:It could make some of the outbursts maybe. Yeah, but deep down somewhere you're feeling that way and that's like the deeper problem. You felt that way, like your first thought was like be offended or be feeling like you're being like singled out or left out, when it's like literally not about you. Right, I think that's a mother-in-law's have to learn it's not about you.
Speaker 1:Right, it's not your life, unless something like extreme is happening, like I think that's a reasonable thing, that like if there's some sort of self-harm, spousal harm, child endangerment situation.
Speaker 2:Right like.
Speaker 1:Then okay, but what we do in our bedroom, what we do in our house when we get married, the kids we have, like those are off topic, off.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and if your son ever lays his hands on his partner and you think that that's okay, then you're a piece of shit. Yeah, that's the only time you're allowed to interfere.
Speaker 1:I feel like trauma to some degree has, like it has influence over what you think, but also you're responsible for, like becoming a productive member of society.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm sorry, you guys have some terrible mother-in-laws. I'm happy to be anyone's mother-in-law instead. I volunteer.
Speaker 1:So many parties to go to. I'm glad that we filled up a whole 40 minutes. We'll probably do this again and next time that we ask for secrets you guys have secrets. I know you do After hearing about some of your mother-in-law I know you guys have stories to tell us. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Next tea time is gonna bring a hot tea. I believe it's a five star review of Apple and we will talk to you next week. Bye, gone Out by Andy.