Ever find yourself knee-deep in the dating trenches, battling one face-palm date after another?
Well, we're right there with you, fellow love-seekers! Ashley and Brittni here, dishing out the good, the bad, and the downright bizarre from the front lines of modern love in our latest podcast episode.
From third-wheeling on what was meant to be an exciting first date, to navigating the waters of dating post-kids—believe us, it's as laughably rough as it sounds. We're not just spinning yarns; we're also doling out the hard-earned wisdom on self-respect and spotting those glaring red flags you wish you'd seen sooner.
Picture this: You're on a date, and it suddenly spirals into an impromptu caregiving session—yup, we've got stories about that too. We're peeling back the layers of disastrous dates, including an overambitious steak dinner and a bong session gone horribly wrong, all while maintaining our spirits (and sanity). And let's not forget the unsolicited intimate photo debacle—what's with that, anyway?
Join us as we navigate these cringeworthy yet astoundingly common scenarios, sharing our personal anecdotes and those of our courageous listeners, who've bravely transformed their dating horror tales into teachable moments.
As we wrap up the laugh riot, we don't leave you hanging in the doldrums of dating despair. Instead, we tease the next episode where we'll shift the focus from catastrophic courtships to the art of fostering healthy relationships. Remember, amidst the uproarious recounting of misguided romantic gestures and unsought explicit pics, there's a community here, eager to swap stories and grow together.
So, keep sending in those reviews, and who knows? You might just snag one of our chic glass tumblers. Until next time, keep laughing, learning, and loving the wild ride that is the pursuit of partnership.
https://linktr.ee/millennialmomsunfiltered?utm_source=linktree_admin_share
Ever find yourself knee-deep in the dating trenches, battling one face-palm date after another?
Well, we're right there with you, fellow love-seekers! Ashley and Brittni here, dishing out the good, the bad, and the downright bizarre from the front lines of modern love in our latest podcast episode.
From third-wheeling on what was meant to be an exciting first date, to navigating the waters of dating post-kids—believe us, it's as laughably rough as it sounds. We're not just spinning yarns; we're also doling out the hard-earned wisdom on self-respect and spotting those glaring red flags you wish you'd seen sooner.
Picture this: You're on a date, and it suddenly spirals into an impromptu caregiving session—yup, we've got stories about that too. We're peeling back the layers of disastrous dates, including an overambitious steak dinner and a bong session gone horribly wrong, all while maintaining our spirits (and sanity). And let's not forget the unsolicited intimate photo debacle—what's with that, anyway?
Join us as we navigate these cringeworthy yet astoundingly common scenarios, sharing our personal anecdotes and those of our courageous listeners, who've bravely transformed their dating horror tales into teachable moments.
As we wrap up the laugh riot, we don't leave you hanging in the doldrums of dating despair. Instead, we tease the next episode where we'll shift the focus from catastrophic courtships to the art of fostering healthy relationships. Remember, amidst the uproarious recounting of misguided romantic gestures and unsought explicit pics, there's a community here, eager to swap stories and grow together.
So, keep sending in those reviews, and who knows? You might just snag one of our chic glass tumblers. Until next time, keep laughing, learning, and loving the wild ride that is the pursuit of partnership.
https://linktr.ee/millennialmomsunfiltered?utm_source=linktree_admin_share
Hello and welcome to Millennial Moms Unfiltered. We're your host, ashley. I'm Brittany, and today we're going to be sharing some of you guys' worst date stories and also just talk relationships post kids, because why not? So, without further ado, let's get in. You have to dance while you're waiting for it. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm scared in my head.
Speaker 1:Yes, I know I can do it. It never leaves my head and I, like, almost have to mute it.
Speaker 2:It's probably way worse for you because you're editing constantly.
Speaker 1:It just doesn't ever stop. It's pretty bad. I mean, I like the song, but when you listen to it 800 times in a row, it's so long yeah.
Speaker 2:That's how I feel when I'm editing wedding videos. I know Over them I bet.
Speaker 1:And you have to pay way more attention.
Speaker 2:I'm just like it's going up there, there's a lot yeah.
Speaker 1:I wanted to do some housekeeping, if you will, and remind you guys that if you leave a review on Apple Podcasts, that you'll be entered to win a one of a kind tumblr glass tumblr. I put the design up on our Instagram so you can go check those out there they're so cute and leave your Instagram handle so we can contact you for shipping info. They're glass. They're glass with the wood top.
Speaker 2:They're glass with the wood top. Okay, I want to make sure they're glass.
Speaker 1:And I'm actually going to pick up little inserts like little thingies that I printed Cute.
Speaker 1:Yeah so it's super cute. We're going to be announcing the winner today. Actually, we'll do it now, while we're talking about it. So this is like a way for you guys to support us. That is like free and quick and it makes a huge, huge difference. So if you like to listen to our podcast, it helps us out tremendously. So I put the names of the reviews that we already have and I'm going to spin it and let's see, I don't have Instagram handles on these. So it's just whatever your name was and this. I know who this is. It's Danielle Lee. So I will message you and get your information for shipping. You are our first winner. Next week We'll do another one, and so on. Every review that you leave, your name will stay up here and if you win, we'll take you out, but your name will stay up here. So when we spin again, you have 12 chances until we you know give away all the tumblers.
Speaker 1:So again, super simple and it's like a high success rate, if you ask me.
Speaker 2:Thank you for the reviews, guys.
Speaker 1:Yes, they're awesome. We love the feedback, we love how much love about the dynamic of the podcast topics and we just love it where it makes us happy. This is what we wanted to do. So, yay, was there something else? I don't know.
Speaker 2:I think that was probably the main thing. Yeah, I said housekeeping Giveaways reviews.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I think I thought of something and I didn't write it down, so now it's just it's gone. We can just get rid of that one, because.
Speaker 2:It'll come back later yeah it'll come back sometime, all right? So let's talk some of your best and worst dates, so stories.
Speaker 1:I didn't want to do just worst because I feel like last time we did the mother-in-law ones, it was like worse mother-in-law stories.
Speaker 2:So I was trying not to be negative. We wanted to hear some good stuff too, especially because we're going to be like going into relationships a little bit, right.
Speaker 1:But you guys really like to share the dirt. You guys really really like to share the bad stories and I'm not going to lie, those are pretty entertaining. So I'm not mad about it. But I'm just saying we did attempt to get. Did we get any good?
Speaker 2:ones Happy stories.
Speaker 1:I asked everyone to write what's it called like say worst or best, so we'd know. And I got a couple and so far the ones that I can see say worst and then the first few words that I can see look like it's not going to go well. So we have a few submissions and I'll have Brittany read because I'm not going to explain myself. That's why.
Speaker 2:Oh God, okay, so I lost my virginity to this douchebag when I was like 15 or 16 and was obsessed with him for years, but like fucking ill. After chasing him for about three years, he finally asked me on a date. When I arrived to the date, he was there with his bestie. I felt like a third wheel on my own date. Pretty sure the two of them were secretly fucking long before and long after this state. Also, pretty sure they have since parted ways and he has a new bestie fuck buddy, solely based on his obsessive Snapchat posts with this new dude. Wow so.
Speaker 2:I wonder first day in the third wheel.
Speaker 1:Well, that like whether they were having a secret relationship or not, like that's lame, it is lame, but I feel like at 16 that shit used to happen all the time and be like oh, do you want to hang out?
Speaker 2:No, he didn't. He asked her on a date three years later, so they were like 19. Oh, I was like at 16.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I felt like that happened a fair bit. They're like do you want to come?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm like, excuse me and there'd be like other people that are like yeah, no, at 19 a proper date. Yeah no, and she had already slept with them, so like I feel like everyone has those people that you just come yeah.
Speaker 2:Is he out?
Speaker 1:as gay, or is he?
Speaker 2:just I need back up. There's so many questions when we get these stories out.
Speaker 1:You guys don't even give enough tea. Yeah, I want to know. Like you don't have to out anybody, but like no, you don't have to out anybody.
Speaker 2:Was there another date ever? How?
Speaker 1:did you know it was as?
Speaker 2:long before and long after this date, so I feel like it was just the one date. Do you still? Will you still Snapchat friends with them, or just Snapchat posts? So yeah, they're not like directly to her.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, there we go.
Speaker 2:That was the lame date. That sucks.
Speaker 1:I feel like everyone has one of those things that like they have connections to someone and then, after it's over, you're like bro, what was I doing? And it's like you're so wrapped up in it that you can't see it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I'm. I commend you for like having a crush for three years, though, cause like you probably were out of high school and like I, lose interest after three months.
Speaker 1:I literally will hang out with someone one time. I'll be like, and this is the ADHD in me. I'll be like, oh my God, I can't stop thinking about this person. And then I like go out on a date with them and I'm like no, that wasn't it. It's because they drink water weird or something Like yeah, you get the egg real quick, I'm just like. I'm out, I'm out.
Speaker 2:So I've been on a lot of first dates but I get, I get turned off pretty fast. Yeah, that's how.
Speaker 1:I figured out that, like Gio was my person, I, I, yeah we'll talk.
Speaker 2:We should talk about how we knew later. We didn't get that.
Speaker 2:That's not the sole reason, but you did get gross out by the way he draw big water. All right, um went on a date one time and the girl looked nothing like her pictures. I noticed when she had pulled up in her car next to mine and got out. I was going to drive off, but she knew what kind of car I was in, so I got out and we proceeded to our movie date, just for me to find out she came from work. Want to know how. I knew that she worked at a seafood place, so can you imagine the aroma coming off of her the entire night? That sucks I had. I also want to say that I had a couple of guys like can we submit stories?
Speaker 1:and I'm like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, is that a guy? Yeah?
Speaker 1:okay, so, and we had a couple further mother-in-law ones too that were from guys, and yeah, we're, we're open to all submissions and this is called millennial moms, but like where millennial moms like you don't have to be a mom, it's just that's our advantage.
Speaker 2:I.
Speaker 1:Couldn't I? That's one of those times I would cancel. I would be like if I don't have time to go home and Before our first day I would be like no, sorry, I can't, I can't make it no to later and, as far as not, I've waitress I think that's like. I've, we just probably happens a lot.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I wonder how many people get catfish I? I worked waitress at three different restaurants, none of which were seafood places that I never would have gone on a date after.
Speaker 1:What's like? You ever like hung out with somebody that Wicked Duncan and, yes, I used to work at that, yeah, and your hair just like retains that smell my hair, my shoes.
Speaker 2:It's like I had to leave my shoes like outside because they always smelled like coffee. Get rid of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can't, it's so seafood that's I imagine that would be ridiculous. I knew someone that worked at subway once and, like, the meat smell like yeah yeah girl, she should have showered Before that date and then like sitting in a movie, like you're sitting that close to somebody all night. Yeah, everyone knows where it's coming from, because she's still wearing her uniform.
Speaker 2:Black button down in her tie.
Speaker 1:What the fuck is happening over there. What movie did you guys see? Was it worth it? Was it?
Speaker 2:was it like it was fun, yeah, yeah. And then her not looking like I want. Yeah, we said, that probably happens.
Speaker 1:I mean, I I don't use like crazy filters anymore. I used to because I used to be super self-conscious, but I feel like I also show my regular face a fair bit. So If you come to my stories and you see me like with makeup on, and then later that night I take my makeup off and I'm talking all my stories on my hair, yeah, but it's just like it's not shocking. I mean, it's shocking to see, but like when you see me in real life, you're like I think I look like my pictures.
Speaker 2:I don't use there they are yeah you do.
Speaker 1:I mean no, look like your picture.
Speaker 2:No, I don't use filters. Um, I do. I am a photographer, so I know the right angles and the right Editing, but I don't like Alter my face.
Speaker 1:I don't think that you look different from.
Speaker 2:I've also never really online dated. Oh my god, I feel like. I was on a dating website for a hot second, but I didn't really go Crazy, I've won, not my dating story for you.
Speaker 1:It's the new. It's more normal now, yeah, to meet people online. Yeah but I think it still has like that stigma that it's like just for hookups and like I Feel like you catch a lot of that on there. I feel like a lot of stories that I hear from people that have online dated.
Speaker 2:It's like I Feel like people who meet online are still scared to admit that they've met online, even though that's the norm, especially after a pandemic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like you would think that that would still do, you see that movie and not movie that show about these People that like went on one date, they met online, went on one day and then they went to Costa Rica together or whatever and they were stuck there. Do like Six months of the pandemic there and now they look live together in real life and like they they like each other yeah. Wow, I Want to say I think she got pregnant, but I might just be making that up.
Speaker 2:My brain made up to justify this story, because that is insane.
Speaker 1:Or oh no, she thought she was pregnant but then she got her period and then they were like happy again. But they live together. That's amazing yeah.
Speaker 2:No, I don't I'm. I'm glad I was already married. I would not have wanted to be dating in a In a post pandemic world around to the next one.
Speaker 1:I think I milked that one dry, nothing left.
Speaker 2:Six years ago, at 24, I went on a date with a guy who seemed charming at first. We decided to have dinner at a fancy restaurant, but as soon as we started talking I realized we had nothing in common. He talked about himself the entire time, barely letting me get a word in. To make matters worse, he was rude to the waiter.
Speaker 1:That always is like I would have left.
Speaker 2:Yeah sorry if that was a really gross noise in the microphone. Close to and made some insensitive comments that really put me off. Needless to say, that was the last time I saw him. Looking back, it was a valuable lesson in trusting my instincts and not settling for someone who doesn't respect me. That Disaster is. Date taught me to prioritize finding someone who values meaningful conversations and mutual respect. It may have been the worst date of my life, but it ultimately led me to appreciate the importance of compatibility and kindness in a relationship.
Speaker 1:I feel like one. This is Not shocking to hear two. Um, at worst, mutual respect on a date should exist. At best, you guys click. You know what?
Speaker 2:I mean right.
Speaker 1:Like the bare minimum is mutual respect and also not feeling like you're stuck there Be like it's. It's okay to be, like we don't have to keep doing this, feeling right, like I want to call it, yeah, I've done that. Like, all right, I'm gonna go like this and. But I was an asshole at like in my early 20s. I really was. But Don't feel like you have to stay on dates either, especially if they're like talking to wait, stuff like that. It.
Speaker 2:I wish I was as confident and Like I don't know. I wish I was as confident then as I was now, because I probably wouldn't have gotten up and walked away Cuz she said she was 24.
Speaker 2:I don't think I would have me maybe a 24, I don't know. I did like most of my cuz, I was what I was in to. I was in a very long-term relationship, single for about a year and a half, and then another long-term really been married to Pat. So that year and a half I was only like 21 22. I don't think that I would have like, I think it would have been very uncomfortable, but I don't know if I would have spoken up, and I definitely would now. So I can see it at 24, feeling uncomfortable and not knowing what to say, and you know that's like another thing.
Speaker 1:You know how people always feel pressured to get married before they're 30? Like, if you're 30 and you're not married, it's like oh my God. That kind of mindset. I also think about dating in your 20s and just how underdeveloped everyone is as far as, like, experience is stuff like that, so it's like I don't know.
Speaker 1:I couldn't imagine getting married earlier than I did, even though I mean, me and Gio have been together for eight years and we got together when I was like 24, 25. But I don't know, I guess it's different. But I've met Pat when I was 23.
Speaker 2:And we definitely have both changed, but we've grown together, which I know is rare, it doesn't always happen. But what I was looking for prior to him or even when I started dating him, is not like obviously not what I would be looking for now. Like if I ever, if he and I were to ever not be together and I was dating again, like totally different and like, yeah, I would know within the first date if I ever wanted to see that person again. I feel like when you're younger, there is this pressure to find and meet someone and you're like I just want to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you'll just like deal with things that you really don't like, things that you don't even really like.
Speaker 1:I think it's not even that bad. It's just not compatible Like you can't. I think it's important to be able to look past certain things like not get hung up on everything. Like do you listen to Gemini at 9.45? At all, not anymore.
Speaker 2:One of the producers Was the radio.
Speaker 1:That much I do just like, because I have to turn the drive From the car right. Yeah, so one of the producers, she goes on dates like constantly and it's always first dates and she's like this guy I just couldn't because she's looking for like a fireman or a police officer.
Speaker 1:That does this and this and this and this, and then if those people don't match it, she's just like I just can't, and she won't move away from that. And she's like I'm getting older, like I want to have kids, and it's like bitch, no, you don't, because you're expecting something from someone that's not.
Speaker 2:I don't want to say all police officers and firefighters have certain attitudes, but they do Generally, the type of person who is in uniform is not going to be Right.
Speaker 1:They're not as gentle as she's looking for. So she's looking for a rugged man on the outside and then won't deviate from this specific guy too. Yeah, I don't know, the shit doesn't line up, but she won't deviate from that and it's like you actually don't want to do anything. So you can't be that rigid in it. You're too picky, but you need to also know what you're looking for and what you can and can't put up with. Right, like what's fixable and what's not fixable. Are they willing to work on whatever those kind of things? But I think these people sometimes are. I forgot how I got to that point.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, we were just kind of saying, when you're that, young you might not stick up for yourself as much and you might be uncomfortable in that situation, but don't settle. Definitely leave a date if you're not viving OK. Worst date I was 21 or so when I was just dating for fun and there was a guy. There was this guy, I think we met on Snapchat Already a red flag, I know and after talking a while we set up a date. He was kind of a gym bro, worked for a moving company that I think was his dad's and was definitely older than me. Anyway, we planted me to a Chinese restaurant and as I'm pulling up, I get a text. I'm having car trouble. Can you pick me up? Red flag number two I'm sorry, so whatever.
Speaker 1:The shit happens, but it's just like the timing of it.
Speaker 2:But she goes. So, whatever, go to pick him up. Pull up to a big house that's his parents' house, come to find out he lives at home and the rest of the date was him taking over me and insisting on sitting next to me and talking about men being superior. I had an emergency, come up and left his ass there. He still had the audacity to keep trying to text me. Thank you next, ew.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I definitely wouldn't have picked him up?
Speaker 2:Was it the first time they were meeting other than Snapchat? And, if you're already, pulled up.
Speaker 1:If you're pulled up to the restaurant and that's when he's like, oh, hey, so.
Speaker 2:He was already supposed to be there. You were going to be late.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you were going to be late, so I would have been sitting there by myself.
Speaker 2:And no, I don't think he was having car trouble. I think he probably didn't have a car. He didn't have a car.
Speaker 1:Ew, but imagine being that egotistical, that you sit down and you're like I'm sitting next to you and then just talk about how great you are. It's like I just picked you up from your mom's house.
Speaker 2:She was 21. So he's older than her, lives at home and doesn't have a car, and I mean she's happy and works for his dad's company.
Speaker 1:Living I mean, it's the bulk of it together. But shit happens. Sometimes you live with your parents. It's not inherently bad, but I think there's certain characteristics that if you live at home, Well, not necessarily, and you also have. Those are just like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because my sister and my brother lived at home a lot longer than I did, but circumstances were different.
Speaker 1:I moved out when I was 21 immediately.
Speaker 2:I don't think it's, and my siblings?
Speaker 1:stayed at home, but they couldn't afford to move out. It's not always horrible, but if you're like 46 and you're living at home.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying he was older than her, so he was older than 21. He was a gym bro, he didn't have a car, he lived with his parents and he worked for his dad's company. He was probably very enabled.
Speaker 1:Did he pay?
Speaker 2:Did they buy anything? Did they just want the Chinese to get? Oh, did he sit next to her in the same seat? Yeah.
Speaker 1:Ew, I hate that. I know I don't even do it with Gio.
Speaker 2:I hate it so much.
Speaker 1:I like having that one space, Like if it's just the two of us.
Speaker 2:like I like to look at people, but imagine like when I was hit, when I was a waitress, we would call them same-side seaters and I hated. I don't want that table because they're usually groping each other. You have to like go interrupt their make out session.
Speaker 1:She's their order.
Speaker 2:She's like backing away, can't help you.
Speaker 1:He's like I'm sitting here.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm sorry you had that awful date.
Speaker 1:I would have just oh shit, that is a long one. Holy shit, what is that? Seven dates.
Speaker 2:Scott, first of all, if it was that bad, why do you have that much to write?
Speaker 1:Maybe we got the details we've been asking. Oh okay, yeah right, I'm gonna stop talking shit. I'm gonna stop talking shit.
Speaker 2:Let's see what happens. Oh man, oh man, I'm still scrolling, okay.
Speaker 1:Hey y'all, let's get right into it. A couple summers ago.
Speaker 2:Oh, you know what? I know what this is. This is the date. Okay, I'm gonna go get it, I'm gonna get it, I'm gonna get it, I'm gonna get it, I'm gonna get it.
Speaker 1:This is the date I think.
Speaker 2:I was single and deemed it my summer of mistakes. Let me tell you, I lived up to it. I was 32 at the time. I work in customer service at a coffee shop, so any single good looking customer was a potential victim of my charm, great personality and wit. So I snagged up this one boy who looked young, but I was like whatever, it's cool, I'm here to make mistakes anyway. So he can't be any younger than like 26, 27. So I confirmed with a regular of mine who happened to be his uncle yeah, he's 27,. He told me Okay, okay, okay, I can fuck around and find out with a 27 year old. So anyway, I sneak in my number on a coffee cup.
Speaker 2:One day he texts me, we're chatting, I invite him over for cheese, because obviously we get to talking. Find out he's in fact not 26 or 27. He's a mere newborn baby deer, still with wobbly legs. He's 23 and a fresh 23. I could have died, but I said you know what summer of mistakes, let's roll with it. Oh my God, we got along great. We laughed a ton, but that boyish charm was just too boyish. I want a manish charm, thank you. Anyway, he would rub my back all the time without me even having to ask. So I kept him around for a bit, and so one fateful night person writing this needs to write shit, because it's funny, we're actually hire you once we get enough reviews.
Speaker 2:And so one fateful night he invites me over for dinner. Now, I love food, friends, Truly. What even is the point of life without good food? So I said, yes, obviously I'd love to. I'll bring something to sip on. He worked at a diner for a while, so I was like man. So I was like man can cook. Well, silly me to assume something like that. I put on this cute little 50s, 1950s housewife dress that had a 10 out of 10 troll factor.
Speaker 1:I just want to say you're putting on way too much for a 23 year old. You're doing way too, but also, like I'll go, I'll go on a date with you. There's going to be cheese. So, just hold on to that. Put that one in your back pocket, right.
Speaker 2:And 1950s housewife dress that has a 10 out of 10 troll factor Made a delicious from scratch syrup for ginger. Something, something, margaritas, I was going to fuck this, margarita, listen, I love you All right, I was going to fuck this dude tonight.
Speaker 2:He was always very nervous and timid, if I even like touched his thigh, so it never got hot or heavy up until this point. But the back rubs with like the face, like I was going to rock this guy's world and do things to him that his innocent little mind would never come up with in his wildest fantasies.
Speaker 1:Again way too much why.
Speaker 2:So I show up looking cute as hell. He's in the backyard cooking steak over an open fire and I was like, yep, he's getting the post tonight, whether he wants it or not, but with consent we love consent. He lived in the woods with no neighbors so I left my purse and not essential things to the night in my car because I didn't think anyone would bother. So I go inside and I'm doing my little Susie maker thing prepping the margs, while he's all fucking rugged and sexy looking outside keeping the flames going yada, yada, yada. I notice all the sides. I notice all the sides are inside as well, cooked and sit. Oh, all the side dishes are inside as well, cooked and sitting there cold. So I was like, hmm, okay, man doesn't know his timing. Whatever, good food is still good, even if it's cold. Right, lol, right. So he brings the steak, we have a drink, he makes my plate and everything's going lovely. The sides are cold but decent.
Speaker 2:I bite into the steak and it's wildly overdone. I'm talking like the most well done. It was so tough and there was no flavor but smoke. But I'm like, no biggie, he's nervous, whatever I'm being fed, he's doing all this for me. So I should be grateful, and I was Honestly I still am that he put. He really put effort in, but he was just never it. Oh yeah, and also a child, and I knew that. But some are mistakes, baby. So we finish up. I make another round of bevvies for us and he's like wanna smoke a little weed? And I'm like Hulk Hogan voice hell, yeah, brother. So he goes to get his bong, but instead of knocking out whatever ancient ash was in there, he decides to hit it and coughs and coughs and coughs. And then his Does he just love smoke Like?
Speaker 1:that's the only like char ash he's like about. Is he a fire sign? What is happening?
Speaker 2:And then his eyes start doing some shifty shit. At this point I'm a little tipsy, a little stone, because I smoke a fresh bowl pack like a normal person and I'm feeling nice. Your girl is chilling. So he's showing me some collection he's got and I notice he's kind of gazing out into nothing. I'm like my brother in Christ. Are you okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm fine. He tells me. My sister's he was not fine. He got up seconds later and he bolted to the bathroom and locked the door behind him. I heard him throwing up Like it was his job for 30 minutes. I'm knocking on the door seeing if everything's okay. He's just moaning. He's just like moaning sounds at me, but the door is locked and I'm not gonna break it down unless he stops responding. He's also got two roommates upstairs that I have never even seen in my life and I'm like fucking hell. I hope these people don't come down here through this messy situation. So after about another hour goes by, oh, fucking hell I'm gonna be out.
Speaker 2:I'm at the door again and I'm like, hey, so I'm gonna go, and he comes barreling out of the bathroom Like no, I'm fine, let's still hang.
Speaker 1:No. So I'm like okay, up the space. Actually, I don't wanna catch that.
Speaker 2:Like, okay, that lasted all five minutes before he was back in the bathroom throwing up again and then came back out to tell me that he was okay. So I was like, yeah, you should go to bed. So I take this grown, as adult boy man to bed. He is incoherent. He can barely make words. I'm sitting there looking around his room and I'm like, yep, he's definitely 23. It smelled like boy. Oh, that's the worst. He had condoms just strewn about, not tidy, very cluttered. I needed to get out of there.
Speaker 2:Dude rolls himself off the bed and onto the floor and says this is good, I need to stay here. So me, the responsible one that can handle her two drinks and a little bit of weed, is like nah, you'll be more comfortable on your bed, let's get you up there. Oops. And he listens and as soon as he stands up he starts throwing up again into a plastic bag hanging on his closet door handle. Oh, look, there's a hole in the bag. So I'm trying to get this wildly out of it person to tell me what to get to catch his throw up. Oh, my God, more, because it's leaking all over. Meanwhile. I'm like wait a minute, I look so cute and it's going unappreciated. So while he's dying at my feet, I took a couple selfies in his mirror and sent it to my friend who was getting an entire play-by-play through the night. He stopped responding around the first drink because he fell asleep so he had no idea the turn of events until the next morning. So finally he stops throwing up after literal hours, I put the boy to bed, gathered my shit, locked the door behind me and walked outside to my car.
Speaker 2:I get to my car. The doors are locked. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I left my person keys and everything inside this damn car. The house is locked. I can't even go back in. I peeked through his window and he was knocked out already. I did a little tap but got nothing. It was late and most of my friends don't actually live in the same town as me. So I'm like what the fuck? I'm really going to have to walk home in the dark like four miles. So I'm pulling the car door handles, hoping that by some fucking miracle it will just open. Wait a minute, this isn't even my car. It was one of the roommates. Lucky for me that, one, his car alarm didn't go off and, two, my car was actually unlocked, I skirt right the fuck out of there and never look back.
Speaker 2:Somehow he made it to work the next morning, that young 23-year-old blood I guess. He hit me up for a few times after that and eventually I had to break it to him that it wasn't what I was looking for and that we should end. Whatever it was. He was super sweet about it and very understanding, truly a great person all around, just not a great person for me. He means well, he's got a lot of love to give, but that doesn't mean he was, that doesn't mean he wasn't a fucking weirdo when he said certain things to me, like while we were just sitting watching TV one night. He looks at me and goes I feel like I should let you know I'm a grower, not a shower Like ew. I didn't ask and I literally haven't even grazed your penis. Also, I don't care, the biggest dick I've ever had was the worst sex of my life.
Speaker 1:Same.
Speaker 2:A waste of four minutes. I can never get back. And then, after I called things off in September, october-ish, he texted me that January tells me he's stoned and drunk and you're writing a coherent text. Unlikely, my guy.
Speaker 1:Yeah right, I was gonna say did you, just you didn't die this time.
Speaker 2:And that he wrote me a poem months ago and he didn't want the words to go to waste, so he sent me the poem.
Speaker 1:I mean, why don't you tuck that one in and save it for your next girlfriend?
Speaker 2:I think I've seen him twice at my job since. Nice guy, bad date. I'm sure one day he will make someone very happy, just not me, and that is on my worst date ever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so a couple things that was so wrong.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:Right when I was saying, like certain ages, like it's just not it, and then you get around someone older and they cannot especially men. It takes them a long time to fucking, most of the time, get somewhere. And also, men get really fucking hung up on penis size and like it doesn't always matter, like it doesn't, it does not. And just stop doing that, like, stop putting us in awkward situations. Let's just fucking see what happens. You know, don't talk about it, we're gonna project Okay. So has everyone seen the Drake video? I have not. It looks just like that churro.
Speaker 2:I did see the churro meme but I did not see the video. Is it just a giant penis?
Speaker 1:Even straight women don't want. We don't want that, we don't want that angle, we don't want to know about it. We're going to pretend it's not there until we're actually on it. You know, like litch, that would have been it, I wouldn't have made it to dinner. I'm gonna say this is the most like patient and like the most patient I want to know who that is because you are like the, you deserve an award.
Speaker 2:We should take you on a date just to make up for that date.
Speaker 1:An hour and a half that you sit there while he was in the bathroom.
Speaker 2:No hours. She said literally hours while he was in the bathroom. Oh, she was just sitting there while he was in the bathroom listening to him fucking puke.
Speaker 1:I would have either like continuing to drink or like left.
Speaker 2:I would have left.
Speaker 1:I probably would have left too.
Speaker 2:There's no way.
Speaker 1:I thought this was going to take a serial killer turn, just because that's usually where my brain's at and it didn't. But this is almost just as bad.
Speaker 2:Also, I'm glad it wasn't like a bug that you also caught, because that would have been terrible.
Speaker 1:No, that's probably. That's like what I used to be like when I smoked weed.
Speaker 2:You think you just smoked too much weed? Yeah, probably. I think it would happen and he could handle his drinks. She probably made stronger drinks than he was used to.
Speaker 1:I was going to say what were the marks like? I bet those are fucking great. I make some marks too, and I probably made people throw up.
Speaker 2:I mean I was like a heavy drinker at 23. I don't want to say heavy drinker.
Speaker 1:I was never an alcoholic, but I was like those were the days that we were going out partying yeah, I think about how much I could handle. And I'm like, how, at that size, were you like drinking that much? It was not safe.
Speaker 2:I'm like you know like no, I was going out having like I would. It was bad between the ages of 21 and 24. I drank like three nights a week like party with my friends drink.
Speaker 1:Yeah, too much. And now I like, if I have more than three drinks, I feel it for like the next four days.
Speaker 2:Oh my God. We had two drinks, I had two sangrias for our Valentine's Day date and I was didn't feel drunk, I just felt physically like my head hurt.
Speaker 1:My body started to hurt.
Speaker 2:And I didn't even feel tipsy. I was like it's such a way to have the physical reaction because I'm too old now.
Speaker 1:That's happening. I like that, so come I really can't drink wine anymore, or like the sweets like nothing with sugar. It makes yeah, it definitely makes it way worse and that's like a pain in the ass because I like those things. Oh, that was last one, the longest one, the best one Was it.
Speaker 2:This is the new one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, I was like damn, there's one more, One more, here we go.
Speaker 2:There have been a, so there's. There have been a few dates apparently. There have been a few from a guy who. There have been a few from a guy who made it seem like he was involved with his kid to the car salesman. That I'm pretty all right, hold on my brain's not. There have been a few from the guy who made it seem like he was involved with his kid to the car salesman. That I'm pretty sure would have put something in my drink. That date lasted all of 10 minutes. Before I left. There was one date in particular that the guy just happened to have picked time, date, location for the date. Great Off to a good start.
Speaker 2:I looked up the restaurant to get an idea of the atmosphere, menu and potential outfit choices. I get to the restaurant before he does. Actually ended up being a snowy night so I wanted to leave early, just in case. Now that restaurant stated fine dining. On Google I dressed appropriately.
Speaker 2:This man shows up in a sweatshirt and basketball sneakers. I found out what actual kind, because he was slipping all over the road after the date. He did nothing but brag about money, making it clear it was on issue for him. He was condescending and ignorant. He had made a comment about how he'll beat up the next person who bumps into our table. After the date, we walked to my car and I gave him a ride to his truck. I know dumb move, but I felt bad because it was snowing. We get to his truck and I get out to give him a hug and he kisses me and I'm just not feeling it. He tries to invite me back to his place. I'm just like no, I'm good, I'm going to head back home, Decided it was best not to have any more contact with him, even when he attempted to add me on Snapchat and redid his dating profile when we matched again. I was a little confused by the beginning of that, but it sounds like alright.
Speaker 2:So the basketball shorts and sweatshirt. Basketball sneakers and sweatshirt that's a thing, though.
Speaker 1:At a fine dining restaurant. Yeah, I don't agree. I feel, like you need to get something that's leather for shoes. You know grown up shoes. But there are sneaker heads that think, because they're like $400 sneakers, that they can wear it. It's like, no, no, not how it works. Boo, sorry, that's like my least favorite kind of person. I make so much money.
Speaker 1:I don't like people talk about money, but it's like I mean, I don't mind talking about money, I don't care, but it's like if that's your personality trait, what you are is just like ugh, no depth. That's boring. I would have let his ass ice skate right the fuck back to his truck. And I've been in a situation where someone like was trying to kiss me and I was like and it's just like flat lips to like, and I was like, okay, bye, and then they're like I took you out.
Speaker 2:So you need like no it was like 50 bucks.
Speaker 1:All right, we're gonna need to add a couple zeros if that's how we're gonna do things. No, no, fucking, thank you. So awkward, I don't know. And this is why, like, I'm so happy I ended up, who I ended up with, because I've never been in any of these uncomfortable, weird things with him. Yeah, like. And then I think about how many stories like this we hear and how many men carry themselves like that and in these ways and it's just like but all these kind of people, all these kind of guides I bet you they blame us Like it's women for not appreciating me. I have all this money. How dare she not?
Speaker 1:want to have sex with me, even though we're not a show.
Speaker 2:There's even no yet, and it doesn't grow either.
Speaker 1:There is because I have to live up to that, like. You know what I mean. You shut the fuck up, I don't care.
Speaker 2:I've never described what my vagina looks like to somebody, ever, ever Can you imagine, though, like you imagine, if women said the things that men said.
Speaker 1:Imagine if they did the things. I want to listen. I need some man to tell me why you guys send pictures like this. What angle is that? What angle? Why does that happen? Like there's not many angles for it to look fantastic? That's not the winner, you know.
Speaker 2:Also I want to know if there's ever been a solicited dick pic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, has anyone asked for a dick pic?
Speaker 2:Has anyone ever asked? I've never asked for a dick pic Ever Ever, have you?
Speaker 1:ever asked me. I mean probably, but I've also. It won't like compute just because I've gotten so many unsolicited. And then I just like I want to dissect that person's mind. Like what was the point that you're like? You know what? I haven't talked to this person since high school. Dick pic Like was there drugs involved? What did you think I'm going to say? My online profile, just like how I speak and what I do. What made you think that I was the one that was going to be?
Speaker 2:like oh, yeah, I've gotten unsolicited dick videos on Snapchat. When I had a boyfriend. What made you think I wanted any part of that? Like wasn't even talking to the person, like hadn't talked to them in years.
Speaker 1:I've never felt the need to do that. Was it an?
Speaker 2:accident. Did you mean to do that?
Speaker 1:I've never, ever, ever felt the need to be like why was your, why were you doing? Why, if the conversation wasn't heading in that direction. You know we're getting there. I've never just been like here's my areola. You know like I've never helicoptering your titty. Yeah, what the fuck is happening. Why? Why are we doing this?
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 1:That's gross.
Speaker 2:I mean, I'm married to one. Men are gross.
Speaker 1:They're disgusting. Do you never sent me dick pics until we were like together for real, Like he never did weird shit? I was never like never grossed out. Yeah. No they're out there, guys that are women that are still dating. If you're looking for men, they're. They're out there. It's just it takes a while. You got to kiss a couple of frogs without consent sometimes, and it's not okay.
Speaker 2:I mean it happens. I feel like there have been definitely non-consensual kisses, which was pretty bad.
Speaker 1:I just I could go on and like think about this forever. Do you feel like?
Speaker 2:was there ever a time where you just like kiss the person to like end the date and get over it, and then like then never talk to them again, cause I definitely?
Speaker 1:did I just like blow back, get off me.
Speaker 2:I feel like I've been too nice on dates where, like they think I like them and you just like shake it. They think I like them and I'm like I didn't like, I didn't like you. I know that my I did not show that, but I didn't.
Speaker 1:So this isn't a date story, but it's actually hilarious. So in high school there was this kid that was older and he. There's probably something wrong with him but, I don't know he used to.
Speaker 1:He was like I think he was a dick pic sender, like he was. Everyone knew this one kid cause he like tried to like talk to every single one of like the younger girls. It was like a thing. So it's like only a matter of time till he finds your screen name and all that. So me and my friends used to just fuck with people because it's hilarious, and I still do. I mean not to this degree, but I mean like, if you're texting me and you have the wrong number, I'm going to go long fit for a little bit, just cause, like, if I have time that day, I need to laugh. So, anyway, going along with it. And he was like he liked feet or something. This was my first encounter with a footy person, so he's like no, I just made that up right now.
Speaker 1:So a feet thing. But I was like I have to tell you something, I had my leg amputated under the knee and I don't have a foot and like, mind you, like he's in our school but we never met. I don't know how he got my screen name, like he was just everywhere. And then he was like, well, that's okay, you got the other one. I said no, both of them, like I'm just fucking with him, and I was like well, you rub my nub Like.
Speaker 1:And he just, and he was just like all about. And he's like, are we going to meet, are we going to meet? And I was like, yeah, I picked like some random place, like it's not even the neighborhood I lived in, and then, like two hours come by, you never showed. I was like, how am I going to get there, like. And he like wouldn't leave me alone, but like like dumb in retrospect to to, you know, entertain something that much for someone that's potentially dangerous.
Speaker 1:But, you're setting yourself up for it Like there's nothing wrong with liking feet. Okay, I just I'm ticklish and I don't get it?
Speaker 2:We're not, we're not, we're not, we're not, we're not, we're not, we're not. Yucking someone's, we're not. Yucking someone's yum, we're not doing that.
Speaker 1:That grosses me out. That saying what? But it was just like. That's an easy thing to say Like you like feet, well, that I don't have feet. So you're going to leave like creepy, just creepy. Yeah, men are creepy. I mean, that was a boy. That was like high school, that was a boy.
Speaker 2:Creepy boy. Yeah man, Uh dating. I'm glad that I'm not doing it anymore. Yeah, same, I'm sorry about your dates guys.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this episode was supposed to be like the stories and hybrid um, our relationship, but I feel like we might cut it here and then do next week's episode about healthy relationship. Let's talk about how we can have healthy relationships, because I think we got a good uh bunch of examples, um of not healthy traits in partners. So follow us. Like us, do all of the things on social media. Don't forget to leave us reviews for your cup. Um, it's 12 chances to win and we will catch you next week.