Who knew that the very things we swore we'd never do as parents would become our saving grace? Remember the pre-kid days when judging glances were thrown at parents handing over a tablet at the dinner table? Well, pull up a chair and join our laughter-filled confession booth where we embrace the hilarity and humility of such parenting paradoxes.
From the hilarious trade-offs of screen time and peace to the surprising relief of relaxed mealtime rules, we're serving up a generous portion of our personal parenting pivots—and trust us, you won't want to miss the juicy details of our merch shop launch and tumbler giveaway!
Let's get real: juggling the social scene, parenthood, and technology is a balancing act worthy of a circus performer. In this heart-to-heart, we unpack the tales of how our once sacred 'alone time' has now become a quiet evening in with the kids and how we've learned to see the educational potential in a YouTube makeup tutorial. Our candid stories reveal the beauty in the breakdowns and breakthroughs that come with the territory, as we trade in rigid rulebooks for a more nurturing and, dare we say, revolutionary approach to raising our little humans.
Through the passages of our podcast, we've uncovered the transformational power of motherhood—how it redefines careers, reshapes personal styles, and even readjusts our own bedtime routines. We're dishing out the real deal on contact naps and the never-ending laundry saga that is parenting. Whether it's the evolving fashion choices post-kids or the shifts in household dynamics, we're here to share the messy, the beautiful, and the outright comical changes that come with the title of 'Mom.' So go ahead, pour yourself a cup of your favorite beverage, and let's toast to the wild journey of parenting together.
This weeks tumbler winner is Shayla! If you want to be entered to win a one of a kind MMU tumbler all you have to do is leave a 5 star review on Apple Podcasts!
Our merch store is open! New designs coming soon. https://millennialmomsunfiltered.myshopify.com/
We love to hear your thoughts on episodes and see you unbox merch so don’t forget to tag us so we can thank you personally!
https://linktr.ee/millennialmomsunfiltered?utm_source=linktree_admin_share
Who knew that the very things we swore we'd never do as parents would become our saving grace? Remember the pre-kid days when judging glances were thrown at parents handing over a tablet at the dinner table? Well, pull up a chair and join our laughter-filled confession booth where we embrace the hilarity and humility of such parenting paradoxes.
From the hilarious trade-offs of screen time and peace to the surprising relief of relaxed mealtime rules, we're serving up a generous portion of our personal parenting pivots—and trust us, you won't want to miss the juicy details of our merch shop launch and tumbler giveaway!
Let's get real: juggling the social scene, parenthood, and technology is a balancing act worthy of a circus performer. In this heart-to-heart, we unpack the tales of how our once sacred 'alone time' has now become a quiet evening in with the kids and how we've learned to see the educational potential in a YouTube makeup tutorial. Our candid stories reveal the beauty in the breakdowns and breakthroughs that come with the territory, as we trade in rigid rulebooks for a more nurturing and, dare we say, revolutionary approach to raising our little humans.
Through the passages of our podcast, we've uncovered the transformational power of motherhood—how it redefines careers, reshapes personal styles, and even readjusts our own bedtime routines. We're dishing out the real deal on contact naps and the never-ending laundry saga that is parenting. Whether it's the evolving fashion choices post-kids or the shifts in household dynamics, we're here to share the messy, the beautiful, and the outright comical changes that come with the title of 'Mom.' So go ahead, pour yourself a cup of your favorite beverage, and let's toast to the wild journey of parenting together.
This weeks tumbler winner is Shayla! If you want to be entered to win a one of a kind MMU tumbler all you have to do is leave a 5 star review on Apple Podcasts!
Our merch store is open! New designs coming soon. https://millennialmomsunfiltered.myshopify.com/
We love to hear your thoughts on episodes and see you unbox merch so don’t forget to tag us so we can thank you personally!
https://linktr.ee/millennialmomsunfiltered?utm_source=linktree_admin_share
Hello, hello Okay.
Speaker 2:Oh man, okay, Hello, and welcome to Millennial Moms.
Speaker 1:I'm getting off your phone. I'm getting my list off. I'm getting my list off. All right, I'll put it down until we do the list part.
Speaker 2:Hello and welcome to Millennial Moms, unfiltered. Today we're going to be talking about things we said we would never do as parents and actually do, or things that we said.
Speaker 1:Or things that we said we never do as parents, or things that we have now do after becoming parents. Right, maybe not necessarily that we said we would never do, but oh.
Speaker 2:I've got a list, so do I. So, without further ado, here we go. Okay, that's a part of it. You have to dance. That's a new part of what we're doing here. So we made this.
Speaker 2:Oh, before we get into this, let's talk about tumblers. So we've already had two winners. I actually am shipping them out tomorrow because it's been a busy week and I'm a little behind on that, but now they're going out consistently. So keep leaving reviews, because we're going to keep doing winners. I keep adding them every time I get a new review. The names are gone. The names are gone. Okay, the names are gone.
Speaker 2:So I actually didn't know prep for this show, but we're going to go to Apple Podcasts and we're going to look at our podcast and we're going to just put a finger down on one of the reviews and hopefully it's not one that we've already done. And Shaila, shaila, you won and you're super supportive and awesome because you're not even a mom, but you still listen and support the show and appreciate the wisdom that we bring forth into the world. Thank you, shaila. So I'll be reaching out to you to get your address and keep leaving reviews. You might get the next cup.
Speaker 2:Also, we did launch our merch shop. So cute. I was hoping to have some of it in already, but it's not going to be until probably the end of this week. So oopsie, but next week we'll have some to physically show you. I can't wait, so go check that out. We do have new designs coming in and since it's going to be spring, we'll have different things, not just sweatshirts and stuff. So that's that, and now we can get into our list. Like I'm always like I didn't prepare, but you can definitely tell when I prepared a little bit versus did not prepare at all.
Speaker 1:Like, our mom hack episode.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yep, but that one was pretty good. Again, I feel it Okay. So while I was sitting there trying to rack my brain about this stuff I gave up and I sat there with Gio. I figured that I would just do a few and that you were going to have some, and we probably would have some of the same yeah definitely.
Speaker 1:I almost think of some while we're. I almost set mine to you and I'm like, no wait, because I don't want us to have duplicates. Um yeah, then I would have just raised. Oh, you have definitely stuff that I didn't think of.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, I was going to say, I feel like this is, this is what is specific to kids, I feel like I could add stuff to me, like I'll elaborate off yours.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we did. Yeah, mine is stuff for me too.
Speaker 2:Everybody had a different idea of what this episode is going to be, I guess so.
Speaker 1:You go first.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, well, mine, I'm going to say that I feel like everybody says this shit and we should back and forth. Okay, back and forth, yeah. So the first thing I said I wouldn't do with my kids is like give them devices, like at restaurants, or just like hand them a device All the time. Um, and that is something that I've heard from multiple people in regards to my kids, like them saying something like oh, I'm not going to do that when I have a kid, and that it's like bitch oh to you about your.
Speaker 2:Bitch let's see.
Speaker 1:Let's see.
Speaker 2:Because I said the same thing. I feel like when I had Eden, I didn't. I was young and I didn't like think too hard about what my parenting style was going to be or any of that, so I winged it, like I do with most things. But then I realized pretty fast, like if I wasn't doing something like that, I didn't have the patience to like train him, for lack of a better term. You know what I mean. I feel like you have to be like there are people out there that like really will go through the steps to like sit there and be like no, okay, well, this was a shitty time that we went out and this is how it's going to be, and like really stick to it. I'm not one of those people. So a lot of the things that take a lot of like effort and mental power to do, I'm kind of like.
Speaker 1:I remember being out with a friend I won't say who it is because I want them to feel bad, but I was out with them. We were um, I was pregnant, I had not had me yet and their child was not being very good like total meltdown in the store and they gave their kid their phone and the kid calm down. But the phone was so loud and we were walking through the store and I remember feeling so uncomfortable, like an embarrassed by that, because I was like I would never do this and like shame on me, because I've definitely done that with Kylian Like yeah, because you, you say you'll do certain things and you become a parent and then, until you're in that moment, you really don't know what you're do, you'll do. And there have been days where I had to get stuff at the grocery store, right, and like we needed it. It was stuff that we needed. I couldn't not go and Kylian was having a fit, so I just gave him my phone to watch, something like my.
Speaker 2:one of my other things is I said I would walk out of the store with screaming kids. I used to do that with Eden, but his screaming tantrums were autistic meltdown, so they were. They were a lot and it was dangerous to stay in the store. So I would in that that time. But, like with the other two, if you're crying, we're going through this and I don't care. I get looks. But it's like if I have to be in the store and we need to get stuff, like I'm going to do it, yeah, but if I do give them a device in a store, whatever I like, manage the volume. Oh yeah, I definitely manage the volume. That's something that that I don't judge is the wrong word, but I'll be like how are you not overstimulated with being?
Speaker 2:in the store and the volume of that.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean it's definitely an overstimulation, but I also feel like even if my kids are being a certain way, I always want to be respectful to the people around me. Like no one else wants to hear it, so like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's definitely one of my things too, so I had, I think, a lot about other people in like that regard, like I don't care what people think about me, but I'm also not going to like disrespect a public space.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And I'm very courteous of that. Even like at my house, listening to like the TV if it was loud I don't listen to loud like TV or anything like that, but like I share walls with neighbors- You're just aware of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so people aren't.
Speaker 2:I know my neighbor will listen to movies, action movies Very, very loud, always late at night and it's like we had someone who lived downstairs from outside and you're in the condos who listened to TV so loud and it's like I don't sleep in children in my house. Yeah, so things like that I don't understand. I always try to be like courteous of where I'm at with other people.
Speaker 1:I'll give one and I won't relate it to kids, I will relate it to myself. I became more of an introvert, which I think after kids which I think a lot of moms probably do but I was like very social, like grew up my whole life being told I was a social butterfly, like I always like if someone would ask me to describe myself outgoing and friendly or like my go-tos. And now I do not feel that way at all. I rather stay home, I don't hang out with my friends as much. Is that something that you doing this podcast every other week is moving?
Speaker 1:I do not ask every other week is the most social interaction I have sometimes, but it's not something I want to change necessarily. Right, I have my small group of friends and we get together occasionally but we all have kids, so we're all very understanding that like life is crazy. But like I'm just, I think I would like to have maybe more me time and if that's included in like friends are included in that and there's like a social component of it. But like I hate committing to plans.
Speaker 2:I know I feel the same way.
Speaker 1:I never used to be like that. I would want to go out.
Speaker 2:I think that like, like I like going out, but if I had to do it all the time, or if it was like my normal routine, that like we like got together with friends every other weekend or something like that, I'd be like too much, because sometimes I feel like as a parent you give so much of yourself that like you have to like come home.
Speaker 2:It's right to give that Like come home to like yourself, not actually physically be in your house, but like it's difficult to give more of that to other people, but like, sometimes I definitely get caught in like, oh, I don't want to do this, I don't want to do this. And then after I like do it, I'm like, oh, I feel.
Speaker 1:I feel better than I did. Right, I didn't want to go, yeah, and I was like I kind of just want to cancel.
Speaker 2:But after I did it I was like, okay, I'm glad that I got out of the house.
Speaker 1:So it's like you needed it.
Speaker 2:It's yeah it's hard to find that balance.
Speaker 1:It's really hard to motivate yourself, yeah.
Speaker 2:Like am I doing this because I actually need some alone time or am I doing this just because I'm so used to not going out? Yeah, yeah, let's see. Oh, I said I was gonna be like Super strict is wrong, the wrong word of food, cuz I've always kind of been like that's how I have one of those. I was gonna like not, it was gonna be like eat what's on your plate, like not. Like.
Speaker 2:I always said that I was like aware of how much food I was giving. I would never force them to eat or like stuff like that. But I'd be like eat, so you can have dessert or whatever. But now I give them dessert with their food, like it's and no like, but all at the same time, so it's not like the whole time that they're eating. They're like but I want dessert, but I want dessert, but I want dessert it's. You get it all at once and if you eat your dessert first, cool, your dinner is gonna be there, and if you want to run around and eat your dinner, okay, fine. Like, I feel like I have no rules around food like we're. Just, I feel like we're the same way.
Speaker 1:Thank, we don't eat at the dining room table. We have this huge, beautiful dining room table that we don't sit at. We did when the kids are really younger, when Maeve was when we first moved in, kaylee was in the high chair. Still, we sat at the dining room table, but yeah, we don't anymore.
Speaker 2:I feel like I like the idea.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I like the idea too. Maybe when they're older but the kids sit at their little table and they watch TV while we eat dinner, cuz it's the only way I can get them to friggin eat right and that's terrible. That's like I said. I limit TV, I don't. They are not that bad with TV.
Speaker 2:Yeah, less. Two, two years ago, two, three years ago we, I, me, I went through a hyper fixation where I'm like I'm doing all wooden toys and we stayed on that for a while and it really did help them like Get away from devices and even now, like Eli's really into coloring and stuff like that, so he'll go sit at the table and color.
Speaker 2:And do other things. Amen. I feel like he's starting to like be aware of devices. So he's like I want to play video games, I want to, I want to watch a show, I want to play games on your phone, and I'm trying to break him away from that. So he's definitely on devices more than anybody else.
Speaker 1:But I would say no one in our house is that bad. The TV is on a lot, but I feel like it's background noise like it's bluey like 90% of the time and we've seen every damn episode.
Speaker 1:It's just like background noise may have collars a lot. Killian plays with those monster trucks a lot. Neither one of them have. I don't have like limits for times on their tablets because they don't even touch them. Yeah, like I will have to remind them sometimes. Like they'll ask me if they can do something. Like sometimes I'll ask if they can watch a certain show and I'm like you can watch that on your tablet.
Speaker 1:Like I don't feel like putting that on the big TV right now, but we have the parental controls on everything and they mostly they either watch like Ryan's world, where they do like science experiments, yeah, that was like a favorite or they play some games, but like they don't, they're not even. The doctor asked us what our limitations were around screen time. I'm like we don't really have any because it's not abused yet.
Speaker 1:So, we're lucky. But Maeve has just started asking me to watch like makeup videos on my phone recently and she wants to like look up, she wants to shop, she wants to like add things to the cart on sheen. I'm like, yeah, let's get so. I mean she's gonna be harder as she gets older.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I think that in a way is like a Creative outlet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, in a way, so like to be on Pinterest.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like that's okay, but then also like, look at us, like I end up like going to like look at stuff, yeah, and then end up doom scrolling. So I think, yeah, time, time settings around that, but just like to give her that like inspiration or so she can like try doing those makeup looks or whatever. Have you seen that kid that like she's. I want to see she's like four or five, but she like there ones who, there's one who does her mom's makeup.
Speaker 1:That's amazing.
Speaker 2:There's the one I saw was she does her dad. Lets her like practice on him, oh my gosh and like I'm just like holy shit.
Speaker 1:That's it. It's crazy for me. I thought there's a little girl I've seen who's under moms and she's probably around the same age as me, if I'm like I hope Maeve is so cute. But oh my god, my face.
Speaker 2:I either look like weird Barbie. It was when you yeah, weird Barbie. It was when you texted me and it was like Maeve saying I'm putting eyeshadow on your forehead cuz I don't have face makeup, and I was just like I wonder what. What color she chose, like we teeter, I will.
Speaker 1:Maeve has done like almost blackface with black eyeshadow, like a brown eyeshadow on like my forehead. I'm like we can't do that, maeve, like you can't do that. She's done leopard on my sister. She did like leopard spots on her whole face to turn her into a leopard. I'm like, no, this is. She's asked me why I haven't worn her make my makeup out Because we're still practicing, you can get away with why I don't really wear makeup, you know yeah right after she does, it's like it's starting to hurt my skin.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I tell her it hurts my skin.
Speaker 2:Eli will watch me do my makeup and like, since he likes coloring so much, he's like I want, I want the shiny, I want to shine and I'm like okay, and then I'll like give him like a brush, and he's like, no, I want that one, cuz he knows which ones I do my contour with and what like is it bronzer is.
Speaker 2:So he'll be like One time he got my, my eyebrow like the, the pen, the, or what they call like the marker, yeah, and he just like, and he was like and I was like Eli Um, did you look in the morning? He's like yeah, I like it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We have somewhere to be but yeah, right, um, I Can do one. Okay, you do one I.
Speaker 1:Never thought I'd be a stay-at-home mom, and I have my master's degree planned on having a career. We talked about Pat actually being willing to stay home with kids. I Was gonna be the one who worked so my whole life Not what I thought it would be.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're seeing a pattern here with you that you have a lot of plans and things that you expect and then it's just like no Actually ended up being complete opposite and it made you happier.
Speaker 1:I shared. I shared a thing the other day I don't know if you saw it. It was like from nine years ago, while I was in grad school, and I said something like starting to rethink this whole grad school thing. A starving artist sounds like a more appropriate.
Speaker 2:Yeah and I'm like finished grad school Can we talk about how starving artist you like manifested that accidentally accidentally Just finished grad school, still starving artist definitely manifested that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I definitely did not plan to be a stay-at-home. I didn't think I could be a stay-at-home mom. I don't know what I thought.
Speaker 2:No, I don't know what I thought I was.
Speaker 1:I don't think I thought that I could be, because the whole like women can have it all thing. Yeah, I think it's bullshit, because you can have it all but you can't have it all at the same time. You can't have it all at the same time. And I always figured that I Would not be the one to stay at home because I was. I'd always worked, I'd always been driven. My mom worked my whole life like I'm. Neither one of my parents stayed home. I just didn't think that, like Financially, it was possible. But I also knew that if we had kids, I never wanted to put them in daycare.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I wouldn't want to be a stranger to baby, since I had Eden so young, it kind of Messed with all like I got pregnant Without planning, so like I already didn't have like thoughts about what I was gonna do and kind of all just like happened as it happened and so like I obviously had to work and then I had to put him in daycare and Then I just never saw a different life like before me and Geo got together. I was just like damn, this sucks, I'm gonna be working my ass off. How the fuck am I gonna get back to school? Mm-hmm. And then I had already signed up for Personal training courses in nutrition classes while like I was working, yeah.
Speaker 2:So I and I had no idea how I was gonna make that happen. And then, you know, the rest kind of just yeah, fell into place. And then once we moved in together, I was just like you make a lot of money, um, let's just I'ma stay here. And then that's just kind of how it happened. I think I always thought I was gonna go back to work for something or like leave the house to go to work, but again having everybody in daycare in.
Speaker 1:The daycare costs are just so. I know everyone I don't know. I feel like we've probably mentioned this before and I'm sure everyone's feeling it, but like it's not. It's not more beneficial for a lot of families to have kids in daycare, because the cost of daycare either is the whole check is someone's salary, or or only a few hundred less. It's like if you're not financially gaining anything but you're losing all that time with your kids, then why bother?
Speaker 1:Yeah so that's kind of where we were at. Like. My salary when I worked for Johnson and Wales was Nothing peanuts. Sorry, j-woo, but you need to pay your people way more money. I had a master's required position and I made $45,000 a year.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's the thing. Yeah, we're, we're gonna get on this again, but jobs working for other people. Another reason is like you need this, you need this and you need to be up to do on these Certifications, but we're also gonna pay you under $50,000 and it's like what am I doing with that?
Speaker 1:Why would I? Why would I take a job? I mean, I took it, but why would I thrive in a job?
Speaker 2:where you pay me, I mean I cost me to get the education that you require me to have right and now I also have to pay back those loans and I'm definitely spending that in childcare. Last year we had Eli and Aimen in daycare. Eli went full-time and Aimen went three days a week and that was, like I don't like, damn near $5,000 a month.
Speaker 1:Yes, we got quoted For both kids. I believe it was 1,300 a week or something like that for one of the places and I was like our what? That's 2,600 every two weeks. That was for both of them, full-time at one place that we looked at, and then you have to look at it like and it was like where we do okay, like we do pretty well.
Speaker 2:And At the end of that year, like when Eli was coming up to graduation, jill was like Yo, like we need to like Get it together and I'm like, yeah, okay, so I, we ended up keeping him out like earlier than school started, because it was just like way less extra money and any like it started getting to that point that, like any unexpected, was not like Derailing us completely, but like we felt it, we weren't putting away enough because you're paying for right.
Speaker 1:We haven't been able to put away anything In a while just because expensive. Like we do well too, I just did our taxes. We did okay last year, like on paper.
Speaker 2:I'm like, wow, you did your taxes so early, but it's actually mid-March and that's early.
Speaker 1:I usually file like on tax day.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna jot that one down, because I have not thought about that.
Speaker 1:But like we did okay and I'm just like how do we have nothing to show for and how are we behind on our bills right now? Like there's no way we could afford to take care.
Speaker 2:Like there's no way yeah, we're like Definitely doing better with only one kid, and he doesn't even go full-time, he's still in, goes three days a week. So once everyone's out of daycare that's gonna be a nice little extra.
Speaker 1:That was part of the reason why I decided to keep killing in home for another year. He's going to preschool next year and I have to pay for it, but it's it's a. It's more affordable than most places. But I was like, well, I could just keep him home while he's three so I don't have to pay for another year, because he's had to pay next year right.
Speaker 2:So my thing is like I'm not social and like I don't see my friends with kids like consistently. So I was worried about like developmental, like how they're gonna interact with their kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, but I only put me even daycare, I mean at green preschool at four and she was great and I feel like we saw they definitely see a lot more adults than kids, but they're, they're great. Yeah, I don't think it's too bad.
Speaker 2:I don't, I, that was my thing. Yeah, I have to go, they have to go. And then with a man, I was like he has to go because I can't get any of the things. I have to sit down to concentrate for it. For, actually, on fitness, I was just like yeah, it's hard.
Speaker 1:I mean, I had the job for Muse over the summer and it was absolutely brutal, and then, running your own business, I Either either my business suffered or my kids suffered. There wasn't really there's no.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you cannot have it all at the same time.
Speaker 1:You can't have it all at the same time, unfortunately, and people who seemingly have it all at the same time. I 100% promise you are struggling behind the scenes. It's not yeah, and they're gonna take a break eventually or have a breakdown, because I have multiple.
Speaker 2:I'm actually Currently in the middle of a breakdown right now.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, all right, let's do another one Schedule sex dates. You do or don't, or you would. I never thought I would, but there are definitely days where we're like Thursday right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's an all right because it's been.
Speaker 1:And then there's the added pressure.
Speaker 2:Why is that, which I Right, you might not always be in the mood, but that's how come we sit, we do the like Okay, like what's, what's the number that makes sense for us, like in what's going on in life right now, like we can make it happen two times a week. Okay, so we got to hit the two times a week, so by Wednesday we're like we haven't even hit one. So it's like, in two times in one day doesn't count. We're talking about two different days.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I feel like. So we definitely know the times and the days and times that we have available to that. But like and I feel like this probably is common among lots of couples with children, I'm sure couple chill, childless couples are not scheduling their sex time. I at least, I hope not. It's very much more spontaneous because it used to be right and frequent, more frequent, but like there is almost like an unspoken, like we know when and when it has to happen and where it has to happen, right.
Speaker 2:Like we.
Speaker 1:It's not so much like it's penciled in on the calendar, but like, yeah, you know, and that's kind of it's not spontaneous.
Speaker 2:It's like tonight's tonight, and then I feel like you have to find ways to spice it up, because I feel like without the spontaneous component, it like isn't the same Are you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I won't get it. Not, this isn't the episode for that question.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Do you have another one? Do you want me to keep sharing?
Speaker 2:my, I can go this list.
Speaker 1:That's really really long.
Speaker 2:My not. Oh, I said I wouldn't share beds with my kids. I have that. One too was gonna sleep. My kids were all gonna sleep in their bed. Um, and I don't know where the hell that came from because, like I said, when I had Eden, I didn't have a plan and he, his ass, slept with me till he was three and then, after I had him, I was like never again. And that was a damn lie. All of my kids slept with me. Eli stopped trying to get into my bed, like last year. Amon's still sleeping with me. My kids sleep everywhere. Like sometimes Eli is not even in his bed, like there's no rules for for sleep.
Speaker 1:It's like no Rules for sleeping or eating.
Speaker 2:Yeah, bedtime, like we have bedtime routines, we wind down and and Put sounds on and wherever, and you're gonna sleep, knock out, I don't care, everybody go to bed and like that. But if you want to sleep on the couch, I'm not gonna fight you about it. Yeah, you're getting sleep.
Speaker 1:So my kids are both. I Said I would not bedshare from day one and as soon as Navy was born, that baby did not leave my chest like she was on me For naps, for bedtime, like she slept on me all the time. She had reflux to start such. The first week she was home she was coughing a lot in her sleep, so Panic, I panicked, and so she ended up with me. So and I'm such a light sleeper so I never was worried about anything happening to her in the bed. I wasn't worried about and I'm not even kidding when I say she slept on me For probably the first six months of her life never next to me on me and I created a monster.
Speaker 2:I feel like I mean it's difficult, but at the same time, like I always did, um, like contact naps, because I love holding my babies, like I it, yeah, it's it's. There's times that it's like, oh, this feels like a chore, I have to pee, but like I Likeed that connection and I feel like people are always like put your kid down to sleep.
Speaker 1:I hate that. You're gonna spoil that and it's like what's wrong with loving your kid and hugging them and holding them?
Speaker 2:Yes spoiling with with love and attention? I don't think that you can. You can spoil somebody, can't with love and attention with like physical objects Entitlement issues, yeah, but like not not love and affection.
Speaker 1:No, and I hate that from older people, but yeah, I am. I Definitely Started a more consistent bedtime routine with maybe when I found out I was pregnant with Kaylee, because I did not want both of them in my bed, right, um, so we tried to like, transition her, and Now they both do. We do bedtime every night. Pat or I will lay in bed with one of them and we alternate nights and they have bunk beds, so we're in in the same room and they fall asleep in their beds. But every night it keeps getting earlier for Kaylee, but it's usually between the hours of like 11 and 2. He comes into my room and Maeve is here, like Occasionally she comes in, so she came in bed last night, but the night before she didn't, so she's, like I don't know, 40% of the time in my room.
Speaker 1:Yeah both of them at three and five. It is hard and I don't know how to is like cuz killing has probably slept in his bed through the night. Maybe three or four times in his three years he wakes up every night, I think.
Speaker 2:I mean I don't think it matters long term, yeah, like I Don't think most kids at age 11 want to sleep in bed with their mom. I'm thinking he didn't, does not want anything to do with me. All right like, and Eli is definitely way more affectionate than him, but like, eli still likes to have his own space like. They grow out of it. Yeah, it's gonna happen.
Speaker 1:Like, and I don't want to like push it away because I know they're gonna grow out of it. I'm gonna miss it one day and I'm like, yeah, whatever I can deal with, the more uncomfortable.
Speaker 2:I'm sure of just like the path of least resistance, and then also like knowing it's not.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're 13 year olds. Not gonna be in your bed, do you also? I hate this kind of late. So the last one I hate when people say like well, how does it interfere with your sex life?
Speaker 2:like well, what about your sex life, bitch?
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 2:Oh, are you? Are you actually only having sex in your bed, right, because I've had sex where you're sitting?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I guess I guess Pat's co-workers asked him. They're like well what? How do you have sex?
Speaker 2:He's like you know. First of all, now I know that you have boring sex. You are not creative, yeah that. And then like the, the spoiling with love, it's like Sharon. Is that why your son can't emotionally connect to anybody, right like Shut up? Older generation?
Speaker 1:I hate it, I hate it. I hate the spoiling with love thing.
Speaker 2:Well, not all. Okay, so not all the older generation, just the judgey.
Speaker 1:I feel very judge when people hear that my kids still come in my bed by a lot of people like Uh-uh, uh-uh.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry. How does that affect you? Yeah, right.
Speaker 1:Why do you care? But that's just me. Okay, I know this one's really long. I have a lot of like slashes. Yeah, I was looking at all the, all the the text points and I'm like I never thought things I do now that I didn't do before, or things I thought I'd ever do. I never thought I'd leave, that I was looking like a bum like a real like a bum. Stopped caring about fashion, stopped enjoying shopping, stopped wearing heels, stopped doing my hair and makeup.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you couldn't you? There's almost no situation at this point that I want to wear heels or that I will. There's always a backup pair of shoes If I'm wearing heels, like for my wedding day. I walked down the aisle in heels and the second I hit the end of that aisle, I took my shoes off immediately. That, no, and like fashion, I never gave a shit about fashion and I feel like now I'm trying to find my like.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna be a cool mom, like look at me, find your style like yeah, but I'll kind of Refind my style.
Speaker 2:I feel like I have so many pieces that like I could if I wanted to. But I'm like I Know that if I put on those black leggings and that black mom shirt, I'm gonna, it's gonna look all right, you know, yeah, so I just Don't care. But I mean, if I have to look nice, if I'm going to do something like I'm cute.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that if I have to look nicer, I'm going somewhere. I still know how to pull it together, but like on the daily, on the regular and I guess this goes hand in hand with being a stay-at-home mom, because I don't really have any where to be that has a dress requirement.
Speaker 2:I Used to not, but I noticed that I'm not as productive if I don't have like that morning routine, like if it like it, it fires my brain up like All right, you wash your face, you did your skincare, you put on some mascara, just kind of got dressed. Our next episode like it it makes you, it makes me feel like I'm going to do something and I feel like I can do stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I feel better.
Speaker 2:I'm not productive.
Speaker 1:No, I feel better when I get dressed, but it doesn't have to be like jeans, like I can just put on clothes.
Speaker 2:I feel like that helps.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I'm talking like I went when I was Working as a therapist and teaching and working at the college like I was heels, skirts, dresses, well yeah, you had like, I was like you really did it.
Speaker 2:I wore scrubs yeah so I never it was like Going from scrubs to having to choose an outfit felt difficult. So I almost I'm like in reverse of that. Yeah, I didn't have to think about what matched or anything, you know I'll say, and just yeah, it's much easier when you have scrubs and like just have a uniform.
Speaker 1:But I also experienced this with working in fashion. I worked at so many. I worked in fashion merchandising, so I had to look.
Speaker 2:Right good.
Speaker 1:Yeah every day. I look like I knew what I was doing. I don't look like I knew what to put outfits together, since that was my job was to put outfits together. So I also when I worked at buckle I was a stylist like I had to dread, like literally dress people and convince them to buy this outfit that I just put together for them. So I had to know what I was doing and now I feel Clueless. I like don't have a personal style anymore. I don't know what I like. My body, even though I'm like the same size, my body's Shifted, like it's different shapes. Now I feel like I don't know how to dress it. These are my favorite jeans and I only like these jeans and I washed them like Three times a week sometimes because they're only good when they come out of the dryer and then they get way too loose.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I still my favorite jeans are good American jeans, but they're like $120 per and they they hold up really well. They're so worth the money. But that's one of those things that I'm like I'm gonna try like four more cheap ones and equal the same price and hate all those and then I'm gonna buy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm not a good.
Speaker 2:American like bro why, and I know logically that that you're still wasting just as much money. But you could have like won the first time.
Speaker 1:But yeah, those things that I'm like, they have different. I have never tried good American today have different, different cuts, jeans and stuff, because I've definitely feel like recently I am over skinny jeans. I want just like a good loose, a good fitting mom like. These are a good fitting mom, dean. They're definitely More fitted than average, but they're not.
Speaker 2:I have yet, well, I haven't even looked at good American, or maybe I have, I don't know, but I haven't. I want like boyfriend jeans, like the loose, like baggy, whatever, but like I have really thick ass and thighs, so like it doesn't work nothing, nothing. It just doesn't.
Speaker 1:They're all just mom because if you got them baggy enough to fit your legs and butt, then they're falling off in the Waste, which has happened to me the other had to throw a pair away. They were so big that Pat was able to see. He actually stuck both hands down the front of them like yeah, they're on me good American it like, doesn't it?
Speaker 2:it accounts into that because obviously, clothing Kardashians, yeah, it had a couple procedures, but but that's good, because I have that problem, yeah, so it's a good problem now, but you gotta find the right jeans.
Speaker 1:It's so hard.
Speaker 2:Like even these, I have like a huge gap in the back, like when I sit up you can see, like, and I also tell myself I'm gonna learn how to like so so that I can like, cut and Find the jeans that I like, because sometimes I do find jeans that I'm like damn, I really like those, but the the waist gap. That was a long conversation.
Speaker 1:I could literally have a whole house, a whole.
Speaker 2:Heels, a whole series of just like jeans and my problems with jeans.
Speaker 1:The problems with jeans when other than like do you have? My middle of the road favorite Jean is American Eagle or Old Navy. For those I haven't, I used to like.
Speaker 2:American Eagle American. I haven't done them in a while, you know, okay. So I'm gonna say something, and I'm pretty sure this person doesn't listen to the podcast and I'm not gonna say names. But they got a BBL and they were like I can't find jeans that fit. Oh my god, and I wanted to be like girl. You don't get to be that irritated unless you've been doing this at least 20 years. All right.
Speaker 1:Because this is a new problem.
Speaker 2:This is a brandy you don't get to have an ass for four months and be irritated about gene sizing. You asked for this and Then and then, and then gain off of the knowledge that I have because I've had to be testing genes for 20 years. So I was like you have to go find your. Yeah, I said good American, but I was thinking like how are you that annoyed? Oh, my god, I just realized I was spinning this thing and it's probably making noise on this. Whoops, these are better mics, though. I'm pretty I can't wait to edit this. I think it's gonna sound nice. I think it's gonna sound great.
Speaker 1:Do you have more? I have a few more.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just keep going, because I really was just stop working out.
Speaker 1:I stopped working out. I used to be not a gym rat for sure not a gym rat because I don't love the gym but I always had some sort of physical activity going on in my life, whether I was going to the gym or going to yoga or going to like something, and I have maybe worked out four times since Killian was born. I did work out a lot. After me was when I actually had a personal trainer for a while. But, um yeah, I've just like given up, I don't really like hate the gym now.
Speaker 2:I, I switched it up way more. I mean, as we know, bodybuilding is my like background and I used to go like two days for some months you know what I mean like really, really heavy gym goer and Then, after I had even a little bit before Eli, after I had Eli, and then amen, like I Don't think I've ever taken like huge, huge, huge amounts of time off, but just in comparison to what I used to do, which by no means was like healthy or normal, feels like I'm not you know what I mean Mm-hmm, and like I like doing it and I know that it like I feel better and I definitely feel like, if it's been two weeks and I haven't at least done yoga right now I'm really into yoga like I did yoga yesterday, my abs are like.
Speaker 1:Are you sorry. I said I stopped going to the gym, but I do do yoga, so, like the gym, specifically is what I stopped.
Speaker 2:I used to be heavy on if you didn't go to the gym it didn't matter. And then in this was even this was post being educated on muscle and nutrition and all of that, and I Was heavy on that for a long time. And then past year I'm like oh, you actually can make a lot of changes without, yeah so. I feel like Just because you don't go to the gym doesn't mean you know yeah, no, I mean I definitely need more like real physical.
Speaker 1:I mean not that yoga isn't real physical activity, but it's not a weight loss activity in general For me. Yeah, my body is not losing weight while doing I feel like I yoga, but I feel like I've been seeing changes since doing yoga.
Speaker 2:But I also like it. I don't if I could skip. If I skip anything, it's gonna be like abs and stuff like that, and I really focus on like core and like Positioning and all that stuff and I'm like fuck, like I really felt that. So I feel change, yeah, but I'm also not doing it for change. I'm doing it more for like the mental, the meditation. Yeah, it's so. I mean, I'm just I'm having a good time doing it.
Speaker 1:I feel like yoga for me helps with my core and my and my back issues and like stretching and building those deep deep stretches, hip stretches. Oh my god, so good somatic workouts.
Speaker 2:So good, I'm Like thinking about it right now Just feel so good. It's just like, yeah, it's like it doesn't feel good while it's happening, but then after you're like, holy crap you.
Speaker 1:I notice, like if I do one side before I do the other, I can feel the difference in like how much better the one side I just stretch feels Comparatively. I'm like I'm I this tight all the time, like this is yeah, I am.
Speaker 2:I definitely holds a lot of tension in my like pelvis Sounds odd, something I said I was going to do and don't do with my kids is like Instagram outfits, like they were gonna always be matching and they were gonna be in sets and cute and I was gonna be cute and they were gonna be fucking sweaters and so I was gonna be pictures and.
Speaker 1:I didn't go to that degree but I 100% my said my kids would never wear clothes with characters on them because I fucking hate them. But then I realized that kids are kids.
Speaker 2:The same thing with the Nike things, the sneakers. You know, when parents are like it's, it's like the same thing, except To like a smaller way, less, yeah well, I.
Speaker 1:I struggle like sometimes, like now me is at an age where she likes to pick out her own clothes and Not for me, like the stuff that she picks out, like it stresses me out a little, but I don't like. But why? Why should it stress me out? No, you're, I'm sorry. I, I don't want to be judgy, I don't want to be a judgy mom. But you mamas who are like, let me put my kids in nothing but beige, let the kids live a little. They want to wear rainbows. That's who I thought I was.
Speaker 2:I thought that I was gonna be. That actually who I am with myself. Lot of beige is that an observation? Yes, no, but I do, and I'm actually I'm I'm starting to wear a lot of black, which I used to wear black all the time, and then I was like only were white, and then I moved to beige and I'm moving back To black and I'm like my sister's gonna be a beige mom, sorry, sorry, a color.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna be a beige, um, I don't know, I think. For me it just feels like I don't have to think too hard about what goes together. Yeah, so it, it's just simple, and my brain likes, likes, that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1:I like simple too. I Definitely would prefer if my kids are wearing like Zara kids or like H&M, but like we're definitely rockin, target a Walmart because yeah, I like, I don't like target brands.
Speaker 2:I like the style that's like my preferred, but like they like Right now. They're like venom shirts and like Sonic and yeah, actually, I just don't want to like, I don't want to spend a ton of money on clothes that my kids ruin.
Speaker 1:My kids spill food, mud, dirt. Whatever you could possibly get on your shirt, my kids will get on their clothes. Right and I don't want to spend money on clothes that they're either gonna grow out of or ruin.
Speaker 2:So we don't and it's just wasteful in general. Yeah, like it's it, it. You just don't need to spend all Of that and have all of that for clothes that are not like Long-term. They don't need staple pieces really as kids, because like they're gonna grow out of it. So what's the point? Yeah, you know, I feel like if we buy like an expensive jacket or something that's gonna last us like seasons and multiple years makes sense right to do those kind of things for kids.
Speaker 2:It's like they might not even finish this season with that on. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:There have been so many things. Getting rid of all these clothes with tags still on it I found means Leather jacket from the gap that my sister got it. It's so cute. Thank God it's a size five because it's still the tag on it, and my sister got this for her like a year ago and I just still fits her. But I'm like you haven't even worn this yet.
Speaker 2:Well, you better put it on right now.
Speaker 1:She wants to be, she were about to be out of leather season.
Speaker 2:Wait, listen to this.
Speaker 1:She came home from school the other day, came upstairs, changed, because now that her clothes are all Organized she changes a hundred times a day. That's how he drives me insane.
Speaker 2:What about when you find the clean clothes that she just took off in the dirty?
Speaker 1:laundry.
Speaker 2:Eli does that shit to me all the time, like how is this full again? I'm looking, I'm like just watch this he. I even see this on him like he'll go try it on, just yep. I'm like unfolded back in your drawer.
Speaker 1:Don't put it on top of your bureau, I'll put it away for you Do not throw it, I'm not washing it again. So she comes, as there's black leggings, a black long sleeve shirt with a moon on it, black combat boots, black leather jacket. I was like, okay, we're feeling, we're exploring, we're feeling some type of way today. Yeah, all black, but she looked cute. But she came home from school and was like I can't wear this to Ra Ra's house, I need my, I had a day I got a day.
Speaker 2:We started off in pink and we're ending in full black and combat boots. Okay, I think she did start off pink.
Speaker 1:I think she was like pink velour, like thinking about the purple off it With the, with the pose about it that she felt real good in it, or one more.
Speaker 1:I have to tell one more story about her. With the outfit she has a. She got this like purpley two piece. It's like a purple sparkly skirt and a purple sparkly top and it was on clearance at JC Penney and my grandmother got it for her. But we got it in mind with either the family dance or my sister's bridal shower or something. We're just gonna go to something this summer. And she asked me to wear it to school the other day and I told her no. And she's like why? I'm like because it's for the family. And she's like well, I'm not going to the family dance. And I was like okay, well, then it's for Auntie Meg's bridal shower. No, I don't want to wear it to Auntie Meg's bridal shower, I want to wear it to school. And I said it's not for school. She's like then why did we buy it? I told you why not for school?
Speaker 2:for actual specific events though. That's okay, you can't you can't do it like Too early or like announced that you did it because, yeah, they want to wear it immediately.
Speaker 1:She's too much with her clothes lately. It's driving me nuts. All right, do you have any more? Um, I have a few more, but I don't. I can just run through them because we're coming up on the end.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I Said I also Didn't, or I have. These are not things I didn't think that I would do, but these are things that I now do. I only watch children's TV. I have gray hair sooner than I thought. I know that that's like a yeah, I mean my 30s. A lot of women in their 30s have gray hair, but I my mom really didn't until she was older, so I didn't think I would. So I do, and I have a much more thorough skincare routine. We talked about that before, but I did not before, like I didn't start Taking care of my skin till after I had kids. And I smoke a lot more weed now than I ever did Because of my kids, but I don't drink.
Speaker 2:So not very much. I don't smoke, weed or drink. I go through phases where I'll drink, I'll be like, but it's not even so much to drink. It's like I love the taste of margaritas.
Speaker 1:I like margaritas, you know what? I mean, I don't have a drink when we go out or at like a, like an event. But, like when pan I go out, we don't. I don't really drink, I just like the taste of it.
Speaker 2:I think I saw an ad I could have just been like sleepy and not paying attention that it's like Like alcohol-free, but like equal to margaritas. Like it tastes like margaritas and I was like I need that. I Should look that up. If someone knows about margaritas that are not alcoholic, that tastes like actual margaritas. I think, because it's not like I don't, just don't want triple sec. You know, like I want like that's gross.
Speaker 1:I won't go to a place that doesn't have a bathroom With the kids for too long, like we go to the playground and stuff, but like I, really well I have boys and they literally pee everywhere, like you like.
Speaker 2:Okay, so boys, just one. I Said can you let biscuit out? Yeah, biscuit. Hear the door open and then I hear pee and I'm like what? And then I look up and Eli's standing inside the house, into the patio, and I was like what are you doing? And he's like I have to pee. This is where biscuit peas, this is where I pee. Okay, all right, yeah they'll, they will pee anywhere.
Speaker 1:So so Kaylain just got like. We just finished potty training last week, two weeks ago. I know he's been. He's been going for almost a month now, but he hasn't, like we haven't taught him how to stand up yet.
Speaker 2:Well, he has the influence of a sister, so he like realizes that you just don't do it anywhere. But yeah, I I've gotten into a lot of situations where there's no bathrooms. I'm just like screw it. Yeah, so they've gotten really good at just peeing anywhere and I mean I always have extra cups in my car, so like we had to do the cup with Kaylee and me.
Speaker 1:If actually we who knew in New Hampshire we were on that like King Come on this highway where there's like no exit for 30 miles. Me was four and she was like I have to pee. She peed in the cup.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you got it. You gotta get creative. They have those like toilet, like that you put in the car, like those little we took them to the park today.
Speaker 1:I brought the potty with them. Yeah, he was like I'm not risking it. Yeah, I was like cups work, so yeah, yeah, I had to do that with Kaylee and actually a couple weeks ago we were getting coffee and the coffee shop had no bathroom there and we were there me like having coffee with my sister-in-law, and I didn't have my car because we walked. So she was like just take a bit my car. So I, he peed in a cup in her car.
Speaker 2:How do you not have a bathroom? Every time I go somewhere that doesn't have bathroom, I'm just like what Well it's my new thing.
Speaker 1:I have to make sure that that yeah, bathroom everywhere now, especially with the one, because, like we had just gotten out of here with me, if she's better at like holding it for longer periods, we can find a bathroom, but like Kaylee's still fresh, yeah he can't.
Speaker 2:But on the bright side he's a boy, so it's just easier, less, less difficult, all right. Well, that was 50 minutes of us talking about things, about parents and Things we do.
Speaker 1:Changed wouldn't do it have changed since having kids? Basically?
Speaker 2:the way you shopped the idea to me, I had a different idea in my head and then I was like you should have just said that how we've changed, since we have kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I would have been. Yeah, I could have wrote some stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so there we are. Here we go. Let us know if you can relate. Follow us on our socials, subscribe, leave us reviews, check out our shop and send us. Tag us in when you're listening. Tag us when you're getting your new Merch stuff for your cups.
Speaker 1:Let us know and also shout out to everyone who sends me a text message on Pod drop days but like you, listened to it, yeah. And then on things that happen, like it's so cute.
Speaker 2:And I love it. I love that people get that.
Speaker 1:I love when you talked about this, this, this and this one, like I love that you listened. That's makes me so happy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's really reassuring.
Speaker 1:Yes, All right guys, bye, yes, bye.