Ask us anything Pt.1

Brittni's back and the vibes are better than ever! We're mixing the charm of spring with laughter and some real talk about the whirlwind that is parenthood. From unboxing our latest merchandise that's as fresh as the season to sharing the story of my serendipitous romance, this episode is a patchwork of tales and tips. We're peeling back the curtain on our morning mayhem, the art of breakfast diplomacy, and the relentless pursuit of a clean-ish home. It's not just about surviving the chaos; it's about thriving in it, and we've got some tricks up our sleeves that we're just itching to pass along.

Ever wondered how two busy bees keep the podcast honey flowing? Brittni and I are letting you in on the secret sauce of our recording routine. We're tackling the nitty-gritty of our bi-weekly content strategy and the AI wizardry that helps us out. For the creatives out there, I'm spilling the beans on juggling my photography gigs with family life—because capturing those precious moments shouldn't mean missing out on your own. And when it comes to grocery runs and school drop-offs, we swap strategies faster than you can say "Where are my keys?"

We're not just about the giggles and life hacks; we've got layers, folks. The final chapter of our heart-to-heart explores the darker side of putting yourself out there—namely, online negativity. Brittni and I take a dive deep into how we navigate the choppy waters of unsolicited feedback without letting it capsize our ship. You'll hear how we safeguard our privacy without building walls against our audience, and even find the humor in the absurdity of some unwarranted criticisms. Because if there's one thing we've learned, it's that laughter can be the best armor.

last chance to get these designs! check out our merch shop:https://millennialmomsunfiltered.myshopify.com/

check our Brit's photography page (recently re branded):https://www.facebook.com/britpilkingtonartandwellness

Don't forget to leave us a review and follow us on our socials @millennialmomsunfiltered

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hello and welcome to Millennial Moms Unfiltered. Today we're going to be answering your questions that you sent in, and Brittany is back. She is back in action, so this week's episode is going to be way better than last week's episode. No, you did good Thanks, I was just. I was like I'm not even cutting out interruptions, it's just going to go with it, just have the chaos.

Speaker 2: 0:22

Yes, we're also wearing our, our merch. Yep, we'll have to show our backs later. Yes, they're cool very cute.

Speaker 1: 0:30

So these are up on the shop and these are probably gonna be up for another week or so and then we're going to switch out designs for the spring slash summer.

Speaker 2: 0:37

They're so yeah they are soft mmu, like a play on university, and then I love this little smiley, so so cute.

Speaker 1: 0:45

Yeah, Gio actually bought his own and he wore it like two times this week.

Speaker 2: 0:47

That's so cute. Husband support so cute.

Speaker 1: 0:51

Without further ado, let's get into it. All right, so cool, merch. That was a good start to this. Okay, Sorry, I was like Eleven, eleven.

Speaker 2: 1:17

So we didn't ask us anything. Poll this week and we haven't even looked at the questions yet, so you're going to be getting straight from our brains.

Speaker 1: 1:27

Okay, sorry, I'm trying to figure out like the best way, because last time when we were like flipping through them I felt like it was hard to keep track. So I'm gonna just do them like in a line and we can flip up so we have like 10 or 11 questions depending on how this goes, there may be a part two right, ashley, how did you meet your husband, or how did your husband, how did you and your husband meet?

Speaker 1: 1:45

Brittany talked about how she met her husband. What's your story? Okay, I like feel like I should like practice this, because I never say it in a great way, but basically he was my cousin's roommate. They met at work and then they were roommates for a while and I met him. You know, going to visit my cousin him, um, you know, going to visit my cousin, um, and then we didn't start really talking then, but we like came across each other a couple of years later, after my cousin and him weren't living together, and then we kind of just like started hanging out and just never, never stopped hanging out.

Speaker 2: 2:20

And then we just like moved in together yeah, we never like officially made it official?

Speaker 1: 2:24

there's not like yeah like a date, we just like our leases were coming up, and then he's like you want to move in together? And I was just like yeah, let's move in together. So we, and then we just kind of started magic that way. Yeah, britney and ashley, walk us through your typical day.

Speaker 2: 2:40

Oh, anxiety do you want me to go first?

Speaker 1: 2:43

yeah, you go first okay.

Speaker 2: 2:45

So a typical day, um, me and the kids wake up, we'll do a school day. I mean, the kids wake up, pat's already left for work. He usually leaves around 5 am. Usually that sucks, yeah. So then, um, I would say it depends. I mean, our alarm is set for seven, like that's the absolute latest, just in case anyone sleeps in, but no one ever sleeps in. Usually the kids usually wake up around between six and six 30. We go downstairs. We have the kids have breakfast. Lately they've been picking out their own clothes, so I let them do that.

Speaker 2: 3:21

I make them breakfast. It's usually pancakes. Go figure, we're a pancake household. Killian I don't know if I've mentioned this he at six months we found out he had an egg allergy and maybe eggs every day, and then, when we found out that we couldn't feed them also to Killian, we switched over to pancakes. I don't know why we don't do both. I don't know why I don't do eggs and pancakes, but since Killian can't have big eggs, we just become a pancake household. So he has to get tested again. Hopefully the egg allergy is gone, because I want them to have more eggs. Yeah, that's difficult, but anyway. So I usually make them breakfast.

Speaker 2: 3:55

While they're eating breakfast, I'm packing Maeve's lunch. I'm making sure they're getting dressed. Oh, usually while they're still eating. I run. After lunch is packed, I run upstairs, get dressed, brush my teeth. Um, sometimes I don't really get dressed, it's usually like sweatpants and sweatshirt.

Speaker 2: 4:13

As long as I'm not like too disheveled I, I will leave the house, but it's never anything fancy like I'm not like getting, I'm not even like I don't wash my face until after I drop Maeve off. So, anyway, so I go downstairs, get the kids ready to go, make sure, oh, they come up and brush their teeth too after they're done eating, and then we head to school. Maeve has a drop-off of 8.15, so it's pretty early. That is pretty early, so I drop her off at 8. We leave at 8.10. She's off to school, we're back probably around 8.45, I'd say. And then Killian usually wants to just like play for a little while. So we'll either play with his monster trucks or whatever. Sometimes I run errands, but lately I've been trying to stay in the house, because every time we leave the house it costs way too much money.

Speaker 2: 5:07

So we've been doing a lot more at home. I usually like laundry throughout the day, cleaning up after Killian. We'll sometimes play with Play-Doh, do arts and crafts. Lately I've just been trying to get the house like back in order spring cleaning and then we do lunch and then Kelly sometimes falls asleep, but he's pretty much resisting nap time at this point. So, um, we'll go outside and play if the weather's nice or we'll, you know, figure out something inside. After lunch we pick up Maeve at 2.20. We leave the house. Come home, uh, she doesn't have homework. She'll leave kindergarten. So no homework for her. They again, they'll play outside for a little while. They usually have a snack. More laundry, more doing stuff around the house for me Typical.

Speaker 1: 5:51

And then you don't do any of your editing or any projects. You have going on until at night, or do you try to work? No, I do all that at night.

Speaker 2: 5:57

Oh fuck that. I can't really get much done during the day with them.

Speaker 2: 6:01

Yeah, done during the day with them. Um, yeah, it's just not. I don't have a space where I can like go do it and be away from them and doing it on my lap on the couch. They're like in my face, they're touching things, they're like asking me a bunch of questions. It's really just better when I have. If kelly falls asleep, yeah, or if he's like, if he's like really doing, like doing independent play, I can kind of get stuff done. But I usually just focus on getting stuff done around the house at that point, especially with all the projects I've been doing lately and trying to get everything organized.

Speaker 2: 6:29

Pat's usually home by like 4, 4.30. Some days it's later. He makes dinner. So he comes home, he takes a shower, he makes dinner. Sometimes while he's making dinner the kids go with him and I'll try to get either a project done that I've been working on editing or I'll go take a shower, cause that's really my only time to go Um, and then after dinner we do bath time. We play that, depending on like, sometimes I'll go for a walk, ride the bikes or go outside, then we'll do bath time and then they're in bed by like seven, 38 o'clock. We both do bedtime with them. And then at night Pat and I will usually throw on like a comedy special or a podcast that we watch on TV and I'll edit or I'll work on painting or whatever I need to do at night, and that's usually my Pat and my time together is like between 8 and 10.

Speaker 2: 7:20

We're usually in bed by 11. Sometimes I stay up really late, though, if I have like a deadline or something I have to work on. I'm a night owl.

Speaker 1: 7:27

I rather be up late, um but the kids wake up so early that it's really hard for me.

Speaker 2: 7:32

So like there are nights where I just have the, the, my energy doesn't come until like 5 pm and then from 5 pm to like2 am I'm super productive, but Pat's like I gotta go to bed because he has to get up so early. I'm like you don't have to stay up with me. This is just when I have my time. Also, sometimes I just want to be alone.

Speaker 1: 7:52

Yeah, I know I used to do when it was just me and Eden, I used to stay up late and then once I had Eli and Eamon well, definitely after I had Eamon I had to really like shift how I was productive. So now I'm really productive in the morning, um, but I used to do my best thinking at night.

Speaker 2: 8:08

But by eight o'clock my brain is like no, I I probably am turned on for too long, like I probably should switch to doing things in the morning because it's just how my waking schedule has to be right now with the kids. But, um, it's really hard to adjust for me, like my my body doesn't want to do it. Like it's tough. But even like I didn't have the kids yesterday morning, they slept at my mom's the night before and Pat went to work, so I had the whole morning to myself and I was up at six 30 and I was like what the hell?

Speaker 2: 8:39

I want to sleep, right, so I woke up, I took a shower and then I went back to bed for like two hours yeah, if I have time during the day I will. I wish I could sleep more, because I'm definitely sleep deprived because of how early I wake up and how late I go to bed. But yeah, my day is like I don't. We don't have so much routine like the morning routine and the like the picking up, dropping off, picking up after school and like you have routine where it matters we have routine where it matters.

Speaker 2: 9:08

But like I mean, if I want to go I mean I have therapy every tuesday, so that's pretty routine but like, if I want to go to the store one day, we go to the store. When it's not like I do my grocery shopping this day, we have this this day, it's like see, I'm complete opposite.

Speaker 1: 9:22

I have, like, a very rigid routine and if I fall off of it, we like don't have food in the house for like days.

Speaker 2: 9:28

Well, this Pat does all the grocery shopping while we do our podcast. So he takes the kids out every weekend and he does dad stuff and he I love that he does that with them. Yeah, they have so much fun. So I don't do any of the grocery shopping unless I have to.

Speaker 1: 9:43

Yeah, me and Gio. He was doing it for a while and then it went back to me. Now my routine is different because Eden's in the program, he's in, but his last day is Monday and then he goes yeah, he goes back to regular school. So then, oh my God, I know it's seriously getting four hours back in my day is gonna make such a difference. So right now it's's complete chaos. But I'll tell you like what a regular school day when everyone's at their regular school.

Speaker 1: 10:07

So we wake up at like 6, 30, 7 o'clock the latest. Um. Eden has to be in school by 7 45 and he's just right up the street. So he's really regimented on how he wakes up and all the things. So he'll get up, I'll make him breakfast and then he knows what he has to do and follows his chart um, and then the littles are usually up by like six. So by that point they've already been like watching shows and stuff and I'm trying to get like my last 15 minutes of sleeping um, I'll like give them food and then, if I have a second to start like washing my face or brush my teeth, I'll do that, then bring eden um, and then when I get back from bringing Eden.

Speaker 1: 10:46

I take that time to get ready. Gio's up getting the littles ready and then I'll drive Eli to school and he's just right across the street. And then, after I drive Eli, I bring Eamon and I drop him off. And then by that time when I get home it's like 9.30-ish and if I plan to work out that day or whatever, I'll work out at that point, so I won't get ready first thing in the morning. I'll work out and then get ready and then if I have editing posts to make whatever work stuff, um, I'll do it then.

Speaker 1: 11:21

Um, I usually like to start getting like those things done from like 10 to like 12 30 and then at that point I like eat and try to take a nap if I feel like I need to take a nap, but try to like listen to my body and like not feel guilty about doing those things when I feel like I need to rest, um, and then at 2 15 I pick up eden and then I have like a weird amount of time from when he gets out of school to elight gets out of school, so like I'll bring my stuff in my car and like work in my car for 45 minutes just because I feel like it's such a waste of time to park the car, get in the elevator, go upstairs, take my shoes off to put my shoes back on. You know what I mean? It's just like it's a dumb amount of time. So I'll just work in my car, pick up Eli he usually asks to go to my mother-in-law's or go home. He doesn't like to go for the ride to get Eamon.

Speaker 1: 12:09

So then I'll go pick up Eamon and then I'll go home, start cooking dinner, put the kids stuff where it belongs, like disassembled lunchboxes. Eli is pretty good at like taking himself like apart and stuff, so he helps with that. Set them up for whatever they're going to do, maybe like spend like a half hour uninterrupted with them and then start cooking. And then I do dinner and then remind Eden about his schedule and then he'll get on it. And I mean obviously there's chaos depending on everyone's mood, but like that's what every day looks like. And then I go grocery shopping on Mondays, so that's always like my Monday thing and I always do pickups. I'm not going to spend the time fucking going through the store. I just can't do it, yeah.

Speaker 2: 12:55

We have our standard like that Pat gets every week and then like he'll go to like Dave's is literally up the street, so I'll go to Dave's like multiple times a week.

Speaker 1: 13:02

Yeah, I do that too. There's a grocery shop.

Speaker 2: 13:04

Yeah, yeah, the fruit goes through our house so fast. We're at dave's every other day getting more fruit like more and more like fresh stuff, because the kids will eat an entire thing of strawberries in one morning yeah, I do.

Speaker 2: 13:16

Yeah, my big grocery shoppings are usually on mondays and then I, adhd brain, forget something on a list and then end up at multiple stores throughout the week so it's definitely helpful that you have geo at home, because you have three kids at three different schools yeah, it's fucking chaos because I home, because you have three kids at three different schools. Yeah, it's fucking chaos Because I'm going to have both kids at different schools next year and I'm going to be home by myself, so I'm going to have to get everybody ready drop Maeve off, drop Kili off, then pick Kili up half day, then pick Maeve up two hours later.

Speaker 1: 13:42

The half day sucks. I'm so glad Eli has a full day. Yeah, no, I'd have to do full days. Um, okay, next question, brittany, where can we see your photography.

Speaker 2: 13:54

Are you taking new clients? Yes, um, so you can go on my Facebook page. Uh, b sean studios, b dot sean s-h-a-u-n studios. Um, we can share it on the millennial mom's page, actually, if that would be helpful and it's also on instagram, my website.

Speaker 2: 14:13

You can see some stuff, but it's definitely a work in progress right now, because my whole brand is a work in progress right now. Um, I am still accepting clients. I'm not actively like advertising or promoting so much so heavily right now uh, not because I don't want to, just because I've been focusing on some other things and my mental health. But I am definitely still working and taking clients. So feel free to reach out if you're interested and thanks for both.

Speaker 1: 14:41

What's? What's the process for recording an episode have and having it uploaded? Just curious about the behind the scenes. We should do a tiktok of that, but we can go through it. I always have like the thought and that just get wrapped up and then halfway through I'm like, oh crap I'm so bad about content.

Speaker 2: 14:59

I am not like a content creator and everyone's like.

Speaker 1: 15:01

Just be authentic, just like share your day and I'm like remembering, remembering to get my phone out to do it I know I have to make it, I feel like somewhat aesthetically pleasing, like I'm not trying to like I don't care.

Speaker 2: 15:11

I'm not trying to like show things. I'm sorry, I'm not trying to like make sure that things look perfect.

Speaker 1: 15:16

But you don't want like a jumbled mess either. Yeah, I don't love doing it, so I just kind of like here it is Um, but we record every two weeks or every other week, every other week two episodes at a time two episodes at a time usually.

Speaker 1: 15:33

Um, so we'll come here to Brittany's house and she sets up our little couch situation, um, and then I set up all the mic stuff on my computer, she sets up the camera and then we'll just like, hey, this is what we're going to talk about quickly, and then we haven't done a little bit. Yeah, we try not to talk.

Speaker 1: 15:53

I really, yeah, want to get more like in-depth episodes where, like I have to do research and stuff yeah but um, we, I just don't think either of us have the time to really do that, so we kind of wing it when we get talking about what we know right now.

Speaker 1: 16:09

And then we'll sit here, record, do whatever, then pack it up and then we usually do it on like a Saturday or a Sunday. So then for that first episode that gives me like Sunday afternoon, monday, tuesday, I usually don't have time to record and then it has to be out Wednesday morning. So then I have to edit the audio, attach it to the video, edit the video, upload it. I have AI write our show notes and stuff, thank God, because I just those show notes are so impressive.

Speaker 2: 16:44

I was like Ashley wrote these. No, she didn't.

Speaker 1: 16:46

No, I didn't. I pay for those. I'm not. I'm not doing that, um, so then I'll do that. Upload it all, upload it to YouTube, um, and then I'll cut audio video, whatever that I'm going to use for reels. I try to just like pay attention while I'm editing the video and like time mark it so that I can just cut it from the video at that point and then upload it to reels and plan, um what I'm going to do that that week, um, for posts.

Speaker 2: 17:13

Yeah, ashley is like the mastermind.

Speaker 1: 17:15

This was all like her baby, so she takes control with a lot of the editing and stuff and yeah, and that's definitely not my like immediate, like knowledge thing, like I had to do a lot of research and trial and error and figure out and I'm still like adjusting and working on what's going on. I'm trying to like find a more automated system for content, because content stuff it's. I've let my own instagram page go die like I just I get nowhere, but the um millennial moms page does pretty good. We like average like 4,000 views a week or something like that.

Speaker 1: 17:56

Um so I just want to grow it, just to you know. Right, I think there's the potential there.

Speaker 2: 18:01

Um so, that's where your focus is.

Speaker 1: 18:03

Yeah, um so I just need to find better ways, because it's not. I don't. I've been creating content for so long that I just like I'm so tired of the trends. It's tired, it's tiring.

Speaker 2: 18:14

Yeah, it's a lot to keep up with.

Speaker 1: 18:16

So then, in a perfect world, I would start editing the second audio from Wednesday to monday, like, and break it up a little bit more. Um, the way life is set up, though, I usually don't start editing again until like the following sunday, so, um, I'd like to optimize that schedule a little bit more. Yeah, but it's uh, it's a process that it is what it is.

Speaker 1: 18:42

We'll have to do a more thorough like like, yeah, we'll, we'll figure out with us on podcast day yeah, I mean I did that leaving my house, yeah, and that took all my energy.

Speaker 2: 18:52

We should actually do like a shared video, like I'll do me, you do you, and then we'll like when we're together.

Speaker 1: 18:56

Yeah, good idea, but we have to actually remember. I'll like set a timer or something. Um, how did the podcast start? What's the backstory?

Speaker 2: 19:05

um, I got a text from Ashley. Hey, you're on my list.

Speaker 1: 19:12

You're on a very short list.

Speaker 2: 19:14

You're on my very short list of people that I'm interested in doing this with. Would you want to do a podcast with me?

Speaker 1: 19:20

Well, at that point I didn't. I always wanted to do a podcast, but yesterday, yesterday, last week, you saw that, like me, doing a lonesome podcast would have been just not it and I'm like I think I need someone to do a podcast with, and then I really started thinking about it, um, because I wasn't really working on anything. And then at that point, um me and Brittany started like really clicking because I was an ambassador for her photography um business.

Speaker 2: 19:48

And then I was like you know what yeah, we had done a couple lives on my VIP page and I I really liked how that went, like I think we vibed really well, like when we were talking about things and we were excited about it and we were both really interested in it. I know Ashley had texted me a couple times. She's like are we gonna do it again, are we gonna make this an every week thing?

Speaker 1: 20:05

and I was like I really want to do my daughter at the time. She's like I don't think so and I was like I really want to do my daughter at the time.

Speaker 2: 20:09

She's like I don't think so and I was like okay, fine, I'm going to do it when I have the time.

Speaker 1: 20:11

So then, yeah, I was like maybe she'll say yes, and then we just I went on a vacation to Puerto Rico. I had ordered all the stuff. When I got back everything was here and then I was like, okay, let's start recording. We're going to Upload the first three. Give us time, some buffer period, so that I can learn how to edit and stuff like that. So initially we wanted to bulk record more just to have it in case of instances like last week where we couldn't record.

Speaker 2: 20:41

We're still figuring it out. But yeah, also, I agreed to this when I still had my studio and that's where we were going to record, right, and we had a location to do episodes every week. But then I shortly was like I'm going to shut down the studio now and she's like, oh no, we're going to record. I was like we can do it at my house. Yeah, because my house A little bit.

Speaker 1: 20:59

Yeah, my house is really echoey and the studio was echoey too. The audio from there was not great.

Speaker 2: 21:05

I have the space in my house, like right now we're in my kid's room because of the mural and the lighting, but I have another room that we've used before that we could use again. It's just really hot and disorganized right now. I also have a sunroom and we talked about turning my shed into a she shed, a possible recording studio.

Speaker 1: 21:23

But that's all down the line. That's all down the line. Maybe see how far this goes. Maybe if you guys bought a little bit more merch, we could fund that, yeah, let's get a studio, but wait.

Speaker 2: 21:35

And then, right as ashley like asked me about the podcast and I was like, yeah, this sounds good, I had decided to like cut back on things and really focus on finding what, like brings me joy, and so this was like the first thing I had agreed to do.

Speaker 2: 21:49

I'd say in the past five years that like isn't a monetary thing, like it's just right, and we're just doing something for fun and just like we don't care, like of course we want you guys to watch, we want you guys to buy merch and we want this to be a thing we are passionate about it. But it was like let's just do this for us and not worry about all the other crazy stuff.

Speaker 1: 22:06

It would be nice for it to be able to be monetized in some way so that we could like offload other projects, but it's we're not like paying mortgages with it or trying to pay. Right, yeah, so the pressure is not there.

Speaker 2: 22:20

Yeah, the pressure is not there and it has been so much fun. And that same week I had gotten a reading with like a tarot card reading, with like a tarot card reading, and she had mentioned that like getting myself out there in other forms, like a bot. She actually used a podcast as an example. She's like I really feel like a podcast would be beneficial for you just to like be yourself, let people see you like that, and I was like well, as a matter of fact, I'm starting a podcast.

Speaker 1: 22:49

And we've talked about this before too Like when you're on like the Blooming Babes group, like you don't really talk about yourself, like you're not the face of your business.

Speaker 2: 23:00

I know.

Speaker 1: 23:01

And, like my businesses, I always was, and the only time I wasn't was with the pop-up parties by Ashley. So, like I didn't, that was a new way for me, right? So I'm like you should talk about yourself more and it wasn't like a natural thing.

Speaker 2: 23:17

So I think this is like a way for you to show your personality and stuff Branching out with like being the face of my business and like rebranding and stuff like that. Yeah, it's definitely. It's helping for sure.

Speaker 1: 23:27

So Next question how do you guys deal with intrusive thoughts or negative comments from people? Everybody just pauses intrusive thoughts um, like anxiety, like you ask the camera, like it's the person who asked the question like are you talking about anxiety? Do you want to elaborate like britney? Just however you interpret this, that's just how you're going to answer the question my intrusive thoughts.

Speaker 2: 23:52

Are they like being anxious? I have like intrusive, scary thoughts, like when I'm out in public or or or. They were more referring to like your own, like your own negative thoughts about yourself because negative comments from people probably self.

Speaker 1: 24:06

I would say self, I just I mean, well, it depends on the day. I'm not gonna say I always like shut up, like you are not your thoughts, your thoughts are not facts. Um, I feel like we have a lot of like thoughts that just come out of seemingly nowhere because of, again, conditioning and things, expectations from other people, so that like that kind of like becomes your inner dialogue and like overrides things. So like how you talk to yourself is like a big thing, right, yeah, so, like, depending on my mood, if I have the energy to like know what do you like about yourself, what do you whatever, and try to like counter whatever. And then sometimes I'm just like I have to disassociate, like I have to leave my body because, um, I'll get to like a mental space where I'm like I'll fall back into patterns for anorexia and stuff like that. So it depends on where I'm at um from other people.

Speaker 1: 25:02

I used to be really really bothered by other people in the comments they would make if they didn't like agree with what I was saying or what I thought, or didn't understand what I was trying to do. And now I don't really give a fuck, I don't care, because I really think about like is do I want to be living that person's life Like is that a valuable or constructive observation?

Speaker 2: 25:24

I think reminding ourselves that people who are going out of their way to try and make us feel bad or make someone else feel bad is ultimately they have their own issues. It's not on you like if you like. I have no desire to be mean to people like for no reason. I'm only mean if you're mean to me. Like right. I'm not good, like if I see something online that I don't agree with or that I think is stupid or that I don't like.

Speaker 1: 25:54

I would never comment. I just keep scrolling right like and I just don't understand, and the only time that I would is if it's like harmful, false information, like right, right, if someone's like sharing just something that's completely not even true, like all you have to do is like suck on three eggs a day and like stare into the sun and not eat anything else and you're gonna lose. You're gonna lose 40 pounds in two weeks, and it's like bitch. What are you fucking talking about?

Speaker 1: 26:19

no, no, yeah, but like I'll do that kind of stuff, but if it's, I would never comment on someone's selfie and be like your. Your eyebrows suck Well, not even just that.

Speaker 2: 26:32

Like I'm part of, like these groups on Facebook like decorating groups or just like oh yeah, and people will like post a picture of their room and like look at this, I just finished like designing this and someone will really say I really rather like I would have preferred this over this.

Speaker 1: 26:50

Like it's not your house.

Speaker 2: 26:52

Why would you make someone like and that's not even, it's not even like. That's not even like necessarily mean, but it is ultimately your goal is to let your goal there is to let someone know that you don't like what they did, or you don't like the thing that they like, unless someone's explicitly, explicitly, explicitly, explicitly Explicitly asking what?

Speaker 1: 27:12

Unless someone's explicitly asking what are your thoughts? How do you feel about it?

Speaker 2: 27:19

Shut the fuck up. Unwanted, unwarranted feedback.

Speaker 1: 27:26

I try not to, but I feel like sometimes I start talking before I realize I'm talking.

Speaker 2: 27:32

I'm like, oh, fuck it, I sound like an asshole.

Speaker 1: 27:34

Yeah, and I'll catch myself. But especially on social media, I don't know the number of times I've had people come to my page and be like you're fat. I had someone argue with me about what I was saying, about something nutrition-based. I can't remember what it was specifically, but he was telling me I was saying about something nutrition based. I can't remember what it was specifically, but he was telling me I was wrong and I was fat, so I didn't know what I was talking about and that his mom his mom was a dietician, so he knew what he was talking about. And then I kept like shutting him down in the comments. So then he DM me. And then I kept like shutting him down in the comments, so then he DM me. It was like I was like sir, I'm literally chilling.

Speaker 2: 28:16

That's yeah.

Speaker 1: 28:17

And, like I, just I don't know where the energy comes from. It's, it's crazy to me.

Speaker 2: 28:23

So yeah.

Speaker 1: 28:31

So if someone comes at me, I mean, I don't get negative comments from random people on any of my pages.

Speaker 2: 28:33

I don't really anymore. I don't put myself out there enough. So I feel like, like my personal facebook and my personal instagram have like my personal stuff, but I don't I'm really reluctant about sharing too much because I don't want to share my kids on public spaces. I do share a lot of pictures of my kids on my personal stuff but I I I mean I know once it's on the internet, it's on the internet. But I try to have as many privacy things in place for my private, my personal accounts. But like I don't really get like. I haven't really gotten negative comments on any of my pictures, like my photo, like my business pages.

Speaker 2: 29:08

Um, we did get one negative comment for the podcast early on and at first I was really aggravated, but then ashley and I were like I did. Why are you mad like we didn't know it was.

Speaker 1: 29:17

It was definitely a fake person it was yes, it sounded like someone that may know one of us in real life and made a burner account and left a negative comment. But it like, um, but like talking about it out loud, I could not stop laughing.

Speaker 2: 29:32

Yeah, we were just like, why are they so mad at us? Like what did we do Talking?

Speaker 1: 29:36

about how, like our husbands were idiots for marrying us, or some shit like that, and I don't even know, why are you even recording this? Have you do? You know?

Speaker 2: 29:48

what a podcast is called cringe yeah, cringe and it's like, but I'm trying to find a better way, a better use of my time, and like, yeah, something about our husbands like too bad they married us, kind of thing, because like I guess we have no value, I don't know. But they were like, why are you so bad? Is your husband not nice to you? Like, like it was it was.

Speaker 1: 30:08

It was a man's name, but it was giving off real feminine energy.

Speaker 2: 30:12

It was definitely a mad girl, mad woman.

Speaker 1: 30:16

I showed the comment to Eden and he said this looks like a little girl with daddy issues. I was like sir, but also like Maybe yeah.

Speaker 2: 30:27

So, yeah, the comments you just have to let roll because, again, it's a's not, it's a reflection of them, not you or us, right like I'm not mean. It's not your job to analyze other people's thoughts and yeah opinions yeah and then as far as like, my intrusive thoughts about, like about myself, um, having me really helped with that, like realizing I don't want to pass that kind of mindset along to her, like I want her inner dialogue to be positive all the time.

Speaker 2: 30:57

So I don't, I don't comment on like my appearance or my body or anything in front of her, and that alone has kind of helped me to limit those thoughts um yeah, I have them occasionally, but negative thoughts about myself are always like, not necessarily physical, they're more like get your shit together yeah, I, I have those a lot, I'm more like concerned about am I being a good mom, am I being healthy so I can be a good mom and live.

Speaker 1: 31:24

Am I doing enough? Why can't I do more?

Speaker 2: 31:27

yeah, I have those all the time Like I'm not worried about if my jeans look good and if my stomach is tight, I just want to be healthy and happy and good for my kids, so that's pretty much the only thing that I get on my own case about would be am I doing enough?

Speaker 1: 31:44

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 31:45

And the mom guilt.

Speaker 1: 31:46

I haven't. I mean, well, that's how come I'm trying to like if I feel like I want to take a nap, I take a nap because I have those same like kind of things like why aren't you doing more?

Speaker 2: 31:56

everyone else is up and doing things and why are you tired, and also comparing yourself to the clips that you do see on tiktok the very hit or or instagram or facebook, real, like all those reels of like people carefully crafting their videos and like you're comparing your day. That's why I don't I don't remember to record it, but I don't want to carefully craft my content Like I. If I'm going to share, I want it to be authentic, right, I really don't, I don't want to.

Speaker 1: 32:21

I don't want to compare their lives. To me. It's like I right and I as someone who creates that kind of content, or used to create more of it, and knowing that stuff, but still finding yourself in like that, like cycle like, and you're like, oh yeah, you're like, get mad at yourself like I.

Speaker 2: 32:40

I want to share it like. Really quick, I made mava coat the other day and like to other people that's probably like other moms might feel pressure from that post and then I thought about it afterwards I'm like I hope no one feels like they're not doing enough, because I was so neurotic Because that was just like a thing that I decided to do the day of Like I 100% did not have to do, that I was doing too much, like that was too much.

Speaker 2: 33:06

I fully understand that I am. I have ADHD. I'm a stay at home mom.

Speaker 1: 33:15

I get very hyper focused on things and once it was in my head like there was that was gonna get done, literally no stopping me.

Speaker 2: 33:19

I was on a mission and that's how I get things done.

Speaker 1: 33:25

Usually is yeah and it's not always, it's not always the right thing, but that was the right thing because it was a big deal to Maeve. It was a big deal to.

Speaker 2: 33:32

Maeve and it made her happy, but I would never want someone to see that and be like I need to do more, because I was doing the most and it was not necessarily, but you're also.

Speaker 1: 33:43

you can't think about how, again, you're going to be perceived by other people or what their thoughts are. It's not your job, to like monitor that and you were just sharing your life oh, I was just sharing my life and I also.

Speaker 2: 33:56

That kind of stuff comes easy to me. So, like for the average person who like struggles with being creative or crafty, like they could be, like oh my god, I could never, but like I got that done in two and a half hours it was very impressive and I don't.

Speaker 1: 34:11

I mean, I have the thoughts, but I usually will like spend the money and time and completely waste it, because it doesn't happen that fast for me, but like I wasn't like yeah, but sometimes I feel like I I shouldn't share those things, so I don't want anyone to know.

Speaker 1: 34:24

I think you need to celebrate yourself and your motherhood and the things that you do and accomplish and stop second guessing like live, celebrate your accomplishments period, because you don't, you downplay yourself a lot. I don't think I do. I, yeah, I don't think that you like celebrate your wins that much, um, and yeah, so don't don't ever feel obligated to to monitor that um. Okay, fine, we'll do part two. We're already 36 minutes in. Every time I say that I end up like cutting like six minutes off and they're like what are you talking about?

Speaker 1: 34:57

but, anyway, um. So yeah, we'll wrap it up here. We'll finish the last five questions next episode, so tune in to hear the second half. We're gonna start off with what's the first steps you took to start your businesses. So we're getting juicy, all right. We'll see you next week. Bye.